• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

First time meeting a drugs worker. Sober & inhibited, or relaxed and forthcoming ?

mydrugbuddy

mydrugbuddy

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 14, 2011
Messages
11,719
Location
The vagabond who's rapping at your door, standing
First time meeting a drugs worker. Sober & inhibited, or relaxed and forthcoming ?

I'm meeting a drugs worker for the first time soon. It's the first time I've met a professional in this field. Ive got myself into difficulties with benzos and opiates and just want someone to talk to about it all IRL.

I know that if i take a benzo or 2 before hand, not so much that it would be obvious that I'd taken anything, but just enough to relax me a bit, I will find it far easier to talk. The benzos make me so much more talkative, as by nature i would otherwise find it difficult to talk freely to someone I'd only just met.

I'm worried that they might have policies that they wont talk to anyone who isn't sober ? But i dont see how that would work if they deal with people taking opiates, as most people they would see having trouble with opiates woul probably always be atleast maintaining or tapering their doses ?

Does anyone think the worker might ask me if i'm on anything at the time i see them, or more politely, what ive taken so far on that day ? I dont want to lie to people but dont want to be asked to leave either.

Anyone with any experience, advice, info ? would be much appreciated.
 
don't take enough to get fucked up. When i take too much of a benzo it is plainly obvious that i am high but at a therapeutic dose no one would ever notice.
 
These people are there to help and you should be honest about any and all drugs you're taking. You don't want to go in there all loopy but if he/she asks, just say you have trouble opening up about your drug use. I think they will understand the pain you're experiencing. I mean they see it every day. Hope it goes well for you. When is your appointment?
 
i find it difficult to communicate as well off my benzo medication, so i imagine if you had been taking it for recreational purposes, it would still create a problem if you were used to it.
perhaps i am misunderstanding and you are just introverted but prefer being talkative and outgoing when you're high.
i don't think they would turn away someone dosing themselves on opiates as maintenance, but going in there nodding off is not acceptable.
like was said, a therapeutic dose would be appropriate but since you are looking to get off the drugs i would be honest about having taken it.
 
Thanks for the replies guys.

I have been taking benzos for therapeutic reasons. But because i like them so much the line has been getting blurred between that and recreational use. I'm mostly succeeding in getting my benzo use back under control, during some time off work ive weened myself off using them in the daytime. But the real test will be when i have to get out and work again.

I am introverted and i find it easier to communicate with a little relaxant. I dont intend to go in there in a drooling, nodding, staggering state, just enough to help me relax enough to get myself together for a brief period.
 
I'd just go in sober but be honest about your drug use and issues with drugs. I have never taken benzos recreationally so I have no idea what those are like.
 
Im not sure what stage of the story I'm at with benzos, been through the careful therapeutic dosing stage, was unable to stop after the recomended 3 weeks - 2/3 months absolute max. Carried on @ therapeutic doses for several months. Opiate taper made me crave something else and benzos filled that void. There followed a brief period of heavy benzo use. Now its getting back under control. It may be a bit corny to carry on even further with this 'story' analogy thing. I know how the story ends is up to me. But its partly about letting go of control aswell. So I'm confused.
 
I think that one of the absolute cruelest things about Benzos is how effective they are in the beginning (for anxiety, sleep, recovering from trauma etc) but then how quickly the physical addiction is manifested, how completely they change the brain and then how horrible getting off them is, not to mention that you are left with higher anxiety and a worse inability to sleep. There are non-drug ways to deal with anxiety but they are slow as molassas and they take hard work and diligent practice. But here's the up side: they are a part of you. No substance to take, no side effects, no running out or needing higher and higher doses and no addiction or WDs.

I think that letting go of control is a very complex idea. There are certain things that you can control and developing discipline and strategies to do that is what it means to be responsible for your own life. But understanding that you alone cannot control what life throws at you, how others relate to you, etc paradoxically leads to more control because you begin to understand that the only control you have is over your reactions and actions. I look at it as a way of honing my perception so that I can see myself as strong rather than a victim.<3
 
Personal experience: I showed up once completely trashed. I had shot up a ridiculous amount of opiates, smoked crack, smoked pot, and drank a couple beers along with a couple clonazepam. Needless to say I wasn't at my best. I really wasn't even able to THINK about my actions and what I was doing. I just got there, went through the motions, and left. When asked if I remembered anything that was said... I couldn't. I did not and do not recall. I know I was there, but that's that. I do recall that they asked me if I was high, and I said no (clearly lying). Next time I showed up? I was given a UA ;)

Show up sober for sure. I think you'd be reasonable taking a very small (for you) dose of benzos to make you more comfortable. Just be smart! I sure wish I would have... I don't know what the *@)$ I was thinking - obviously I was 'not'.
 
Last edited:
This is in the UK but I've been seeing different drug keyworkers every month for the last 8 years and I have never been asked in any of our meetings if I am high or have I taken anything before the meeting.
I've gone into the meetings 20mins after injecting heroin and taken valium beforehand also but the subject has never arisen.
 
You never think you look high on benzos, even if you don't even feel that high. But if people know what you're like sober they can almost always tell when you've taken a benzo. I never got away with it as much as I tried. Anyway, don't waste your benzos just to speak to a drug worker. He or she won't give a shot if you look nervous. Save your pills for when you REALLY need them.
 
maxalfie said:
This is in the UK but I've been seeing different drug keyworkers every month for the last 8 years and I have never been asked in any of our meetings if I am high or have I taken anything before the meeting.
I've gone into the meetings 20mins after injecting heroin and taken valium beforehand also but the subject has never arisen.
Click to expand...

This is what I wanted to hear. :D so thanks for this reply, and the others as well.

@ AE I dont think it'll be a waste of a benzo atall, this is exactly the kind of situation they are useful for IMO.
 
woamotive said:
Personal experience: I showed up once completely trashed. I had shot up a ridiculous amount of opiates, smoked crack, smoked pot, and drank a couple beers along with a couple clonazepam. Needless to say I wasn't at my best. I really wasn't even able to THINK about my actions and what I was doing. I just got there, went through the motions, and left. When asked if I remembered anything that was said... I couldn't. I did not and do not recall. I know I was there, but that's that. I do recall that they asked me if I was high, and I said no (clearly lying). Next time I showed up? I was given a UA ;)

Show up sober for sure. I think you'd be reasonable taking a very small (for you) dose of benzos to make you more comfortable. Just be smart! I sure wish I would have... I don't know what the *@)$ I was thinking - obviously I was 'not'.
Click to expand...

Holy crap! I hate to ask, but when they tested you what were you positive for? And were you able to stay in the program?
 
woamotive said:
Personal experience: I showed up once completely trashed. I had shot up a ridiculous amount of opiates, smoked crack, smoked pot, and drank a couple beers along with a couple clonazepam. Needless to say I wasn't at my best. I really wasn't even able to THINK about my actions and what I was doing. I just got there, went through the motions, and left. When asked if I remembered anything that was said... I couldn't. I did not and do not recall. I know I was there, but that's that. I do recall that they asked me if I was high, and I said no (clearly lying). Next time I showed up? I was given a UA ;)

Show up sober for sure. I think you'd be reasonable taking a very small (for you) dose of benzos to make you more comfortable. Just be smart! I sure wish I would have... I don't know what the *@)$ I was thinking - obviously I was 'not'.
Click to expand...

Yeah i dont want to be wasted, just relaxed a bit. What's a UA ?
 
I remember years ago when I was seeing a mental health professional, I found it difficult to open up in therapy sessions, and felt much more articulate when drinking a bit of alcohol beforehand. Obviously that's a little different, and not very bright, but I was operating under the premise that I needed help opening up.

I think if you're forthcoming about these inhibitions, rather than actually taking a benzo, it will be a much more beneficial, albeit more gradual, process. It's something you'll learn to work on. I think in the interest of finding solutions and working on issues, it's best to present yourself in a completely natural state. It'll give him/her a real impression of your struggles and where to begin.
 
Its a little different, but also some similarities too. I'm operating under the same premise that you were. Your 2nd paragraph is very insightful. I dont feel 'ready' for that yet though. Although they would get to see the real me, i've already decided that i cant do the first one without my chemical crutch.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top