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First time MDMA use with someone prone to paranoia

lewlou

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 1, 2015
Messages
1
Hi,

Looking for some reassurance here - GF and I are fit healthy couple (41 and 26). I have almost no previous drug use (other than steroids years ago) and she has done weed/coke on a small scale a few years ago. We are both looking to try MDMA together and were probably thinking of doing it at home.

However, she has a history of paranoia attacks that started after a bad night on weed where she had a "panic attack" that meant she spent the night scared her (then) BF was going to harm her (he didnt but her fear felt very real to her). She hasn't touched drugs since but in the last 2/3 years still gets (every few moths) episodes of panic/paranoia - even with me. These come on when we are alone and will involve her becoming quite for a few hours - the next day she'll explain this had been because she felt an irrational fear that I was going to harm her! She can't tell me at the time as her delusion is so real she doesnt believe she can trust me. These epsiodes come from nowhere - no drink involved......just if we are alone (and only 1% of the time we are alone.......most of the time we are great together!)

So her fear (and mine) is a) MDMA might cause the reaction as weed did and b) a reaction happening on it might be far worse.

My hope is that MDMA has a very different effect to weed and also - she lives with the possibility of these "horrible" nights every few months.....it cant be avoided (although she is now on the path via her doctor to get some therapy) so given they can happen anytime she cant go through life avoiding things just in case.
 
i'm sorry to say, even though mdma is totally different and much less panic-inducing than weed, that it would be best if your gf didn't do mdma.
a good friend of mine did become paranoid twice on mdma (afraid of undercover police once and that we were trying to kill him the other time), so if you have the predisposition to such experiences, doing mdma can be a trigger. previously, weed had sometimes had similar effects on him, once even with full-blown hallucinations.
 
I will say MDMA can be very therapeutic. I would also recommend your gf not to do it. This drug is a very powerful one and can be great but paranoia should never be involved when taking it. Could make you feel sick and throw up not pleasant. I would say it could turn out 50/50. She will either love it or hate it, and really make a bad experience out of something that is meant to Be such a beautiful thing. If she does tell her to have no fear and let every bad feeling go with the come up and just be true to herself and let everything go.
 
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