First Time Going Cold Turkey From Herion - Help!

[Clarkee1983]

Hi all

Long time lurker here, I rarely post but I'm in some trouble with the smack and would really appreciate some advice. Mods: Sorry if I should post this in another forum but they tend to be US oriented and a lot of the remedies suggested aren't available in the UK.

About 15 months ago I made the huge mistake of buying some smack from *that* website, obviously just as a one off to try it out. To cUt a long story short I'm now hopelessly dependent Been using 2+ times a day for about 7 months now.

I'm now injecting and to keep me well I need about 0.2 high quality brown in the morning and same again in the evening. If I want to get a nod on I use a lot more. I know I need to stop this now before I get in even deeper. I've got a week booked off work and plan to go cold turkey. It's my first time withdrawing and I'm terrified and looking for any advice or help to get me through it.

To help me along the way I've got

500 2mg loperamide
32 paramol (500mg paracetamol + 12.8mg dihydrocodeine)
8 sominex sleep aid 20mg promethazine
16 nytol 50mg diphenydramine
9 250mg naproxen
20 diazepam - allegedly 10mg
60 vitamin B6 10mg
Various other multivitamins, vit C, vit e, vit B complex

I want to do this without opiate substitutes but in case I really can't cope I've got 2 8mg suboxone and 9 2mg subutex. If I do use them I'm just going to put off the inevitable and I need to get this over in the next week before I go back to work.

I've never withdrawn from any opiate before and really scared of how bad it will be and even more scared I will fail. I can't afford my habit and am now heavily in debt, if I can't stop I stand to lose my house.

I've managed to keep this secret from nearly all my family and friends but people know somethings up and have asked me as much. They all know about my extensive use of other drugs but not about my crack/smack use. With summer coming I can't be wearing long sleeves so I really need to succeed.

I have confided in one fried who has been fantastic and offered to help where he can. I'll be leaving my phone and bank cards in his care so I don't have money / dealers numbers tempting me.

I'm also worried that I won't be well enough to get back to work in a week's time. Should I try to arrange more time off?

If anyone has any advice or tips on how to get though this I would be eternally grateful. No idea what to expect other than it's going to be difficult and horrible but no less than I deserve for my stupidity!

Cheers
Clarkee

 

[Myshkin]

I'd say you've made more than enough preparation, and it's a bold step you're taking. That's no mean habit, but it'll be a lot easier to just sit out the rattle rather than prolong the agony with sub, as you suggest. Benzos can be a massive help, as can dissociatives. Though I think you've got all bases covered, and obviously the desire / pressing need.

Believe me, it's not going to be easier, but it's easier to get out now than it would be in, say, a year's time. The additional stress you have about your finances won't help matters, but it's a hell of a lot less difficult than you might believe. At least the first few times.

That's the most I have, but best of luck, and be sure to report back.

 

[Myshkin]

Thanks for the advice to the OP Pontifex. And I could have kissed you last night when even the tiniest sniff of dubious-purity MXE made my night bearable after a couple of hours' hell. It did what benzos and scotch combined couldn't manage, that's for sure.

 

[jollypecker]

A healthy dose of determination then 24hr clean of opiates take 12mg sub next day 6 ,next day 4 ,2 ,1,.5 ,.2 .1 .1 stop next the if 12 mg is tomorrow be guesswork but best way to do sub easiest detox i have ever done finished on mon back at work the felt shitty but occupied and nothin like ct use benzos as needed an immodium for any shits at end helps some wd didn't help me at all but that's an easily workable detox I had 10 yes of using min .8 a day an I did same but started with 16mg but it wasn't needed. I feel 8 was enough but took another as I got offered it , hot baths are your friend lofexidine helps jumping legs too doc will give it no prob ,stay strong don't roll over n give in to it addiction will tell U U R weak just use and stop another time till 20yr later your like me still addicted. To opiates all the best buddy always. Someone. Here t speak to

 

[jollypecker]

The lomotil didn't help me that is subutex was magic

 

[charlie clean]

First thing, the anticipation is usually worse than the reality.

Reality is the key here, Anyone under 45 has been fed an utter crock of shite about heroin and heroin addiction since kindergarten; unless an older long term addict is a close mate, the one thing to which you'll never have been exposed is anything close to the reality of the thing. An extraordinary state of affairs. But you can get into the 'why' later, when you've sorted yourself out,

First off, stop with the self-flagellation before you go any further. It's totally the wrong way to commence the withdrawal trip. You 'deserve' to suffer for your 'stupidity'? Mon, you piling up the negatives, like many a victim. You got into heroin. Economically, legally and socially, well, you could call that pretty stupid. But that's in consequence of criminalisation, not heroin.

Why you get into heroin? It's 100/1 you don't really know. So you can't know it was stupid, can you? Do you suspect a medical need for medication to deal with a profound, only vaguely perceived psycho-spiritual problem not to be found in psychiatric manuals? Or was it because you fell in with a bad crowd or perhaps react to a tough paper round or your addiction gene?

If your honest answer is the latter, you're one of the 70-80% of accidental addicts thrown up by the interplay of Drug War n Law madness with the strange sociology that's developed since Thatcher created the underclass, for work in the service industries, 30 years back. If heroin was available on general prescription, for sick people, as it was for 40 uneventful years under Rolleston, you'd never have considered it. For you,it's just a matter of physical detoxification, reflect briefly on heroin chic and how you been suckered, then move on to your proper life.

But, if you answer the former, the reality of the thing makes the kick a little more difficult, The one thing you really want is to know you are ridding yourself of something really bad, and your suffering fair karmatic payment for your stupidity. In your case, this will clash, you'll fall down a ladder of wrong turnings and inevitably relapse.

Think of it as ridding you of a bad thing - a habit you can't handle right now - and don't think too much beyond that parameter. Or the heroin will beat you.

Not thinking, but staying firmly in the now, staying busy and taking shit as it hits is your best bet. Throw all your expectations out the window, put your best head on and commence,

.4 brown daily for 15 months can mean anything but chances are you're going to squirm some. But it won't be anything as bad as you think - if your head's right and true. Ask your UK drug centre or call a Swiss or Dutch service for list of OTC meds effectively to combat some symptoms - stomach pains, nausea, cramps, diarrhoea, flu-like feeling - while restlessness, agitation and, above all, sleeplessness are fought any way you can. Best is to appreciate you ain't sleeping cos you ain't meant to and watch it all from as detached a distance as you can manage. Some peeps like a joint to lighten or elevate the observation and, if you're in a safe environment there's no real reason why you can't wait till sleep returns naturally; tho at times you may think so, it won't kill you. Sleepers, like substitutes, just delay the completion of the withdrawal cycle; to all intent, you start again from where you were once the respirate drug has left the system. I doubt you'll need vitamin/ food supplements unless you're already markedly deficient but no harm in having them, like the rest of your stash, handy in reserve.

Other shit , like each minute seeming an hour at the worst stages, you just have to handle ..keep your mantra to it won't kill me and all time passes.

And it will. My guess is you're still - just - short of the heavier withdrawal cripplers. With a cheerful head and no silly fears, after four tough but not unbearable days you'll feel a new man on the fifth and hit work running.

Think about any medical need later.

Really hope you make it. Let us know how you get on and good luck.

 

[BecomingJulie]

On the money as ever, C.C.

Clarkee, what has happened is this. Heroin (all µ-agonists, for that matter) mimics natural pain-relieving hormones produced by your body, called endorphins; which are also (by a quirk that allowed us to evolve as social beings) released whenever you to something helpful to others, to encourage you to do it again, and this is what causes that warm fuzzy feeling inside (there are religious people all over the world who think this is a spiritual experience, but it's just a mini-smack high). Your body senses the gear, doesn't know it came from outside, thinks it has made more than enough endorphins for awhile, and throttles back production.

The net result is, after ceasing heroin use, you haven't got enough endorphins (or chemicals that do the same job) in your body to get rid of the "background pain" you don't normally feel. Like the blood flowing in your veins, the end of one bone scraping against another when you move, your fingernails and toenails growing, or even sudden temperature changes. You can usually notice 1 degree C difference; but on a cluck, you can notice 0.1 degree. You can start sweating because you're too hot, then by sweating make yourself cold enough to shiver. It feels like feeling hot and cold at the same time.

Your body is a tangle of negative feedback loops. Sensing insufficient endorphins, it will ramp up production; but it can't make them as fast as you need them right now, so you continue to feel "background pain" -- except it's now right in the foreground. Taking any opioid in non-negligible amounts at this stage risks interfering with this renewed endorphin production.

About 3 days after the heroin is completely out of your system, your endorphin levels are back to normal, but your glands are still on a roll. They probably will overshoot, and you will get a False High. Fixing the overshoot takes another 3 days; which will be less severe than the preceding three, but that won't be any comfort to you. Unless you are extremely unlucky, the second overshoot will be too slight to cause a false high, and you should be as ready to think about facing the world again as a person who's been confined to bed by a week's illness. Alternatively, you might not overshoot at all, and just take a long time to get up to normal endorphin levels; it's a person-to-person variable.

Make sure you have plenty of clean bedding and towels, fruit juice, vitamin supplements, electrolyte replacement drinks and food that can be prepared quickly with minimal effort. You are going to sweat a lot, you will almost certainly be sick and you may well shit yourself. When you get hungry, you will want food now. If you're without phone and Internet, which probably is a good idea, have DVDs on hand to watch. Just remember, heroin withdrawal alone will not kill you -- though there probably will be times when you wish it did.

 

[thattoh]

Excellent posts and advice, you will as others have said find the reality a lot less severe than what you have been told or imagined. The first few times I found it pretty easy (late teens, twentys etc), when you would really start feeling like you imagine is after decades of abuse.

One other thing you will need what no one has mentioned, is a good few pairs of clean undercrackers, cos even the slightest rub of the cotton or your hand on your old feller, and you will be shooting your duff, hard on or no hard on. Pretty wierd coming without a hard on. Something to look forward to I guess lol

 

[blondin]

I think its all been said now - yer first WD is the 'easiest' they get progressivly worse believe me ive done it 4-5 times now in 30years and would never do it again. IMO i would sit it out you will hav e2-3 days of puking and the shits and RLS and no sleep, general fatigue and loss of appertite but make sure you take fluids or you will dehydrate even tho you will puke some of it up at the beginng some will go down. I would use the valium sparingly to help with sleep. There are many things OTC that can help but unless you know quantities and what and when to take it can be a mine field. IN a week your symptoms wilbe gone but you will still be very weak and if you can take more time off tyen do - and use it to exercise, just walking is enough at thye start and you dont need to use the gym just pick up the pace a little this will help release natural endorphins and tire you out so you sleep pattern will return.
BUT remember this is the easy part staying off is the bitch - many times ive put myself thro this or half way thro it and thought I deserve a reward for all my hard work and im on the fone to dealer Mcdope.
Good luck fella let us know how you get on.
oh one last thingg i always get terrible lower back pain and hot baths sort that out - i use to take 10 a day

 

[charlie clean]

Yes, every time you kick, you'll find, it gets a little harder..smart peeps do it just the once.

 

[charlie clean]

And remember too that, if you're among the 10-20% of today's habitués who are not accidental tourists, whatever malaise caused you to get into it in the first place still remains. The 'cure' as well - punters come, punters go, but its always a thriving sellers' market for the man on the corner. Find another handle on your difficulty or learn the truth of 'coming off is easy, staying off is a bitch' comments.

As far as your immediate problem is concerned , I tend to agree with my fellow hardcores - in your mind, it'll be a huge thing but, from an objective, outside viewpoint, it shouldn't be any big
deal. Easy to say, esp when withdrawals are one of those times mind can be all, but just do it and you'll sail out the other side . 4 or 5 rotten days isn't too unfair a bill to pay for 15 months out to lunch. Good luck again.

 

[Ninae]

Hey, for weaning off any opiate easily I would advice you to get some more Loperamide and benzos and just stick to that. Combined it can keep away all the withdrawal if you use enough and do a slow enough taper. You don't even need to do it in a week as you can be pretty normal when you get into the lower doses, and it's cheap. 3 weeks would probably be a good deal (not long enough to get addicted to the benzos, unless you already are).

As for doses, I have found about 120 mg of Loperamide gives me a mild high with a light tolerance, and can keep withdrawals off at a much lower dose. So you could try starting with something around that and gradually tapering down (some will say that much Loperamide is dangerous but I haven't found that it is). You don't even really need the Valium, but can take some to make you feel more comfortable, and it should really be like going through a period of getting lightly high.

Much more preferable to Cold Turkey, LOL. The good thing about tapering off opiates is that your tolerance adjusts itself every day as you change your dose. Like how in CT your withdrawal will get a little easier for every day. This theoratically makes it possible to go through a painless opiate detox, even from a heavy opiate. Anyway, that is my best advice, so good luck. Don't think you'll regret doing it like this.

 

[lurching]

Regarding the "coming off is easy, staying off is a bitch", try to prepare for the crushing depression and emptiness that some folk get once the worst of the 'physical WD' has passed. The dreaded PAWS that comes in many different shapes & forms. Taking up a light drug such as Kratom, or another mood-lifter such as pregabalin or an antidepressant, could help here -- if you're not totally averse to picking up a new habit, at least.