first time for friend, unwilling to take advice

[Perceus]

I would really like some opinion about an issue i am struggling with. A friend of mine wants to try MDMA together with me to see what it is all about. I have done it once before and had a REALLY intense experience. The experience was a bit overwhelming and before taking it I had not expected it to be so impressive. I had a pill of the same batch tested afterwards and it turned out to be ~200 mg uncut MDMA. In hindsight this was a bit much, so next time I will be taking a more reasonable dose. After this I started to look up a lot of information about MDMA and now I feel much better prepared for a second time.
So, now a good friend of mine also wants to try it. He wanted to try it even before I did it so i did not influence him in that. He does not have much experience with drugs (only some cannabis) and he thinks he will probably not be very impressed by MDMA. I gave him the advice to inform himself about the effects and dangers of MDMA before trying it. However, he does not think it is necessary to read anything about it because he thinks I am exaggerating about the effects and dangers. Personally, I think it is very important to know something about MDMA before taking it for the first time. Someone should have given me that advice... Now I am considering not going through with it and not introducing him to it because I think it would be irresponsible. I would like some second opinion about this. Is it unreasonable of me to expect him to inform himself about MDMA? Is it irresponsibe to take MDMA not knowing much about it? And, would it be unreasonable of me to deny him the experience if he is unwilling to take my advice (my friend does not have access to MDMA)? I don't think I am asking all that much of him, just that he takes some time and read about stuff like experiences of other people and the effects/dangers/etc.

Thanks, Perceus

 

[yanker]

The only thing he should really educate himself on are the thousands of bunk pills out there and the dangers they can cause. I knew nutin bout how mdma would effect me and I think that's what made my first roll so magical was not expecting how I was gona feel. It was a completely new high and sensation. If what he's taking is pure mdma there's really no danger there but he does need to know how to test and look out for bunk. Show him pillreports and bluelight. Trust me after the first magical experience he has hell voluntarily wana research the wonderful drug of mdma on his own.

 

[JWills20]

I'm actually in a similar-ish situation. My friend wants to try it at a festival with me very soon, I agreed to bring him a dose because i've only ever rolled with strangers, my friends are usually drunk/sober. He's in the same attitude to your friend - I keep hyping it saying it'll be the best night of his life and he just says 'we'll see.' He also hasn't bothered reading anything because he 'doesn't give a monkeys, i'll just give it one spin' were his sort of comments. He also seems to think its gunna send him out of control like being drunk and happy, little does he know and I doubt it'll be his last.

Anyways, i've been having similar thoughts to you as to whether I really should introduce him, once its done, there is no going back. I've decided i'm going to do it, the only way he can get hold of it is me and I know lots and lots about it so I can make sure things don't spiral out of control/ he does something stupid. It's my opinion that once they have tried MDMA they'll read lots about it and become far more interested, thats what happened after we both started smoking weed together which was literally a month ago.

If he wants to do MDMA, he has to be mature about it and since you're his only source, that should be controllable. If you think he might spiral out of control wanting do it all the time and constantly sourcing it himself then maybe its not a good idea, but if you're both adults and he wants to try it I say go for it and keep promoting the Harm Reduction you know to him.

Hope this helped you somewhat.

 

[JWills20]

This kind of logic holds a little too much influential power over another individual.. This is a wrong way to approach getting your friend to use it. It is wrong to hold that kind of power over a friend.

You misinterpretted the point, its not about holding power over him, its about making sure he doesn't do something stupid: buying random pills and taking them, dropping .5 all at once etc etc.

If they want to take it but refuse to learn about it themselves i'll look after him myself. Maybe thats wrong but with time I reckon he'll learn and read about himself anyway.

 

[arch stanton]

This kind of logic holds a little too much influential power over another individual.. This is a wrong way to approach getting your friend to use it. It is wrong to hold that kind of power over a friend.

Right. This buddy of yours needs to either trust you or have his first experience with someone who isn't potentially gonna ruin yours. Partying is not about worrying -- and this guy already has you worrying a little too much.

I'd tell them to go fly a kite elsewhere. This isn't child's play - I ain't saying not to read up -- I got news for you - when I started doing this kind of stuff it was in the early 90's and we din't have the freakin internet -- we had to TRUST eachother. This guy not wanting your advice is silly.

 

[JWills20]

You said it best yourself.... that you have 'control' over him getting out of control.. "The only way he can get a hold of it is me.".

We all know you are not the only person in the world that has access to the stuff. So, if you are aware of the power you hold as the initiating party, you should be aware of the possibility that he will find it elsewhere if he wants it bad enough.. This fact stands at this moment.. If your friend wants to try it bad enough.. Make him search for it on his own, have him bring it to you for 'inspection' and THEN show him pillreports.

I agree but I know my friend well enough to realise he probably won't spiral out of control, guess it comes down to a judgement of character.

 

[Perceus]

Thanks everyone for the reply's, it's good to read about the different points of view. I think now that it would be wrong to try and have any control over my friend by possibly denying him the experience if he does not follow my advice and read up about it. It is not my intention to control him anyway. I just don't want anything bad to happen to him so I want him to be atleast a little bit prepared. We are both adults, and I am not responsible for his actions. However, I think I will give him some short advice before we take the MDMA wether he likes it or not. I'll tell him stuff like dosage, duration and that her should wait long enough between rolls and to watch out for signs of addiction. I'll also tell him to not do insanly stupid things like trying to hugg police officers (someone stopped me from doing that, lol). The effects he can find out for himself, I don't have to tell him about that I think. After the experience he will probably be more than happy to find more information himself.

Is there any crucial advice I am leaving out?

 

[thelastclubkid]

Forget the whole "control over him" perspective. You're simply trying to be a good friend, to care for him and his well-being as you would want him to care for you. You are your "brother's keeper". You are being wise and mature. If all people using drugs were as mature and thoughtful as you appear to be, then we likely wouldn't be seeing most of the threads here on Bluelight begging for help because they've abused mdma (or suspected mdma) and have now ruined their health.

I would not want to assist someone who is being foolish. Except to persuade him to change his thinking and behaviors.

yep this^^

one of the only things that really bothers me from time to time is if by doing the rockstar thing i am inadvertantly sending my friends down a path that will do them harm; i constantly give them the "just be careful and take it easy" talk but like most kids in their early 20's i dont think they always are hearing it especially when they are being outdone by a guy who is 12+ years older than them...

in the end though what it really comes down to is if they want to do drugs they will find a way to do it with or without you... so you simply set the best example you can and provide good advice.... and hope they dont act too stupid...

 

[Folley]

I wouldn't recommend familiarizing someone with drug culture before they take drugs.. Because he can't relate to anything.

No to knock this site, but.. I think it's safe to say most of us started out by reading Erowid.

You should first seek the unbiased facts written by the pros.. People telling you their personal experience is a good way to leave someone disappointed in the outcome.

What? This site is not about Drug Culture, it's about harm reduction. We can do a lot better here than on Erowid where you would need to read pages upon pages to get all of the same information...



OP, show your friend some experience reports on erowid... get him to come on this site and read around to get a feel for what MDMA does, if he goes into this experience blind he could end up in trouble later. One of the LARGEST problems of the War on Drugs is that we have no accurate education about the drugs that people use all the time... so you're going to need to make up for years of propaganda in some way.

 

[Hapomen22]

OP just give him a dose that you know he can handle, i.e 100-120mg is a good 1st time dose and that dose can be maintained for quite some time if you don't abuse and take 1+ months breaks between the rolls. Obviously tell him to not go hug or ask for water from the Security/police, to hydrate himself (taking slips from the water bottle) and all the things he needs to know before hand.

But I agree he sounds kind of ignorant and you might be worried about him, I think the best thing to do is just say fuck it and give him the dose... he'll learn by himself if he doesn't wanna learn from an experimented user.

I'm sure your friend is under-estimating/Skeptical about MDMA's power thinking it's no big deal. After his first experience, he'll want to know more about it by himself trust me... after all that's how most of us ended up on this forum.