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First rave and my relapse...

A

ash555

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Jul 3, 2011
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8
First rave and my comedown problems...

hey guys so I decided about a month ago I would roll for the first time and let me just say my first experience was AMAZING, and I am SOO happy I tried it. Then last weekend I went to a very big rave, my very first rave. It was life changing, and I absolutely loved it and wish I could go back. I decided to roll 2 of the 3 nights of the rave and was sober for the first. So I rolled on saturday and the pills that we had were kind of sketchy so it took me a really long time to feel much of anything but my the middle of the night I was feeling great and had a really nice roll that lasted me till 6am. The next night, sunday, I anticipated to be just as great. I took my first pill a little before the first artist i wanted to see and then took a molly ( I had never taken a molly before) shortly after and was rolling BALLS, like seriously I felt like I was in another demension on cloud 9. well me and my group wanted to stay for the next artist and so we were standing in that huge crowd for quite a while and slowly we all ran out of water. no one I knew had any water right when I started to roll balls but I tried to ignore this to stay and watch the next artist. unfortunately this was a BAD call because I almost suddenly felt VERY anxious and paranoid and dizzy like I was going to pass out. I immediately knew I needed water ASAP or I was going to litterally keel over. On my way through the GIANT crowd my bf luckily begged people for water and I got just enough to make it out of there, only to feel 100% better when we made it to the water filling station because I had gotten enough water. Once I made it to the station I decided to CHUG a water bottle full of water to make sure my H2O was replenished, but this was a fucking dumb idea. Almost immediately my body rejected the sudden intake of water and I projectile vomited as I was walking away from the water station. After this I made myself sit down for a while, which was unfortunate because I couldn't see a lot of the artists I really wanted to see :( basically the reason for me sharing this story is so that you guys don't make the same mistake I did, NEVER EVER EVER under NO circumstances should anyone disregard the need for water while rolling, it is absolutely vital and I hope everyone can learn from my mistake! also DON'T chug water either, or you can throw it up like I did! sadly I think i threw up my molly too when I vomited and it basically stopped my roll for the whole night... i took two more x pills but didnt feel a thing!!

^^ basically that story was just for "fun" i supppose so people can learn from my mistakes, but also I wanted to share another thing...

so my comedown from this whole experience was very mellow. I felt fine and basically just needed to catch up on sleep from the crazy weekend and never felt depressed or anything. However, today, exactly one week from when I rolled, I've been feeling VERY anxious, like heart pounding and fast breathing panic attacks. Do you think this could be from the ecstasy!? anxiety runs in my family and I used to get panic attacks when I was a kid and I'm very worried that maybe taking e has triggered the anxiety for me once again... do you think this is permanent? does anyone else have issues with this?? i almost feel a little like I might even be having a relapse, like i'm rolling again. its a weird sensation, like almost like I'm rolling, but in an anxious way. I can even almost shift my anxious feelings to happy ones if I concentrate. is it even possible to relapse and roll a week after you took a pill!? I'm very confused and worried. I hope that the serotonin receptors in my brain aren't fucked up. if anyone has input or an opinion please let me know!
 
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Tl;dr

You should space out your rolls at least 3 months imo and preload with piracetam
 
First off please edit the event name and artists out of your story, artists don't want their name out there as places people ingest drugs and it is bad publicity for events to be labeled as such.

Although there is no question in this, thank you for sharing. It's good for people to hear accounts of others that have done something wrong so they don't make the same mistake. Not only should you not chug water because of what happened to you, but there is also a chance of water intoxication.

You did not throw up your MDMA, as it was already dissolved by then and working its wonders on your body. There is a valid reason that you did not feel anything from the 2 extra pills that you took. Think of it like this: when you take MDMA, serotonin is released in large amounts into axons in your brain. This leaves the brain's serotonin depleted. When you try to take more MDMA with a brain that is depleted of its serotonin, it has less serotonin to release and ends up doing more damage than good. This is the reason they say to wait a month in between (because it needs to replenish).

The anxiety and panic attacks are absolutely caused by the MDMA. This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't roll two days in a row. Your "supply" of serotonin is extremely low right now, and this could be an example of deregulation. Basically this is when the cell receptors shut down from taking too much MDMA. Check the directory for a full explanation of deregulation and keep this in mind next time you want to roll this much lol.

This is not permanent! Take a long break from MDMA, I would say about 2 months after this. I'm sure you had enough of a good time to not need it for that long either. Everything will be okay, don't worry. Although this all happened, I'm glad you had a good time.
 
It really isn't a big deal that you rolled twice in a weekend, as long as this is a rare occurrence. Doing this all the time can lead to serious things such as serotonin syndrome. Though I've done this many times and never had serotonin syndrome, I have heard awful things.
 
sorry I didn't even think of that... I edited my post. but ya I definitely don't plan on doing it again for a veryy long time. thanks for the help.
 
WOW looked up serotonin syndrome and that is like... hitting home. I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I have and its scary, I'm just going to have to ride it out I suppose.
 
No problem, it's not me that cares haha. A moderator would have had to edit it out anyways it's one of the rules. You'll be okay just try not to think about it to be honest. Thinking about what you did to your brain makes it a million times worse. I rolled 2-3 times a weekend for at least 6 weeks straight once... I'm A-O-K :)
 
Trust me you didn't do enough damage to have anything last too long, just give it a rest for a while. You'll be FINE! :)
 
wow guys tonight has been an absolutely frightening experience for me. all day ive been feeling very anxious and have been having irregular bowel movements. I chalked it up to me being sick at first. unfortunately though right before I posted this I got very anxious and I felt like my heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and my head started to get hot. an hour or so later I started to feel very faint and was drinking a ton of water and going to the bathroom like every five minutes. when I looked in the mirror my pupils were HUGE like i was rolling. I was so freaked out I kept telling myself I needed to go to the hospital. thank god my friend told me that this has happened to him several times and that I needed 5htp and vitamin C. I took a bunch of vitamin c and then drove all around town searching for an open store and couldn't find any so I unfortunately couldn't get the 5htp but by then my symptoms slowly died down. tonight was unbelievable, i honestly have never been so close to going to the hospital in my life. in the morning im going to the store to buy the htp to make sure im good to go haha. Its scary what such a fun drug can do to you... even a week later. has anyone else experienced this before??
 
ahhh and yess i agree the carnival was amazing but after tonight I don't know if I'll be raving and rolling again for a whileee
 
!!

1. Always carry water around with you. I always have 2 bottles of water on me, 1 in each pocket of my jeans, so that ones mine and 1 is for any idiots who forget your bodys basic needs to drink water!!!

2. Dont overhydrate in one go. Another good idea of walking around with water on you. Sips throughout the night are also how you dont be sick drinking water!!!

3. I dont know about anyone else. But i only roll once. I take one pill and thats it. Might do some ket afterwards but i wouldnt take more than one? Surely your serotonin is near enough all out and gone , so i dont think that chemically it would be a good idea to take another ?

*Also sharing water with people you dont know is a bad idea. You can get disease like this not sure which ones, Hepatitus?
 
chitown rollin said:
First off please edit the event name and artists out of your story, artists don't want their name out there as places people ingest drugs and it is bad publicity for events to be labeled as such.

Although there is no question in this, thank you for sharing. It's good for people to hear accounts of others that have done something wrong so they don't make the same mistake. Not only should you not chug water because of what happened to you, but there is also a chance of water intoxication.

You did not throw up your MDMA, as it was already dissolved by then and working its wonders on your body. There is a valid reason that you did not feel anything from the 2 extra pills that you took. Think of it like this: when you take MDMA, serotonin is released in large amounts into axons in your brain. This leaves the brain's serotonin depleted. When you try to take more MDMA with a brain that is depleted of its serotonin, it has less serotonin to release and ends up doing more damage than good. This is the reason they say to wait a month in between (because it needs to replenish).

The anxiety and panic attacks are absolutely caused by the MDMA. This is a perfect example of why you shouldn't roll two days in a row. Your "supply" of serotonin is extremely low right now, and this could be an example of deregulation. Basically this is when the cell receptors shut down from taking too much MDMA. Check the directory for a full explanation of deregulation and keep this in mind next time you want to roll this much lol.

This is not permanent! Take a long break from MDMA, I would say about 2 months after this. I'm sure you had enough of a good time to not need it for that long either. Everything will be okay, don't worry. Although this all happened, I'm glad you had a good time.
Click to expand...

^ Couldnt have said it better myself. Great post Chitown.


Also, for your future rolls (if you plan on continuing MDMA use) you might want to consider getting some 5-HTP (found at local drug store) for post-loading. Even though you may not have bad comedowns, I found it helped me feel completely back to normal the next day with no long term effects from the MDMA.
 
panax ginseng has helped me loads with anxiety. the little vials that are like 49c are the whole foods stores.
 
Chitown - props on trying to comfort someone in distress.

But I caution against statements that refer to your pattern of use and the lack of consequences. That's the kind of thing that allows susceptible people to be damaged from their first 'binge', like the OP or even me.
It's also why we got into it last time.

But we are friends now, so consider this a polite scolding. :)

Ash, I recommend against 5-HTP.
I, too, rushed out to buy it in a desperate attempt to try anything during the first week. It made the anxiety drastically worse.
It may help some people who simply need to restore serotonin stores, so it may help you. But if you have receptor damage, it may NOT be a good idea.

It is actually common for people to experience a delayed-onset of symptoms following MDMA use. For me, it took 3 days after my last dose to experience ANY problems. But when they arrived...

Serotonin syndrome is characterized by sudden tachycardia, extreme anxiety, intestinal cramping, diaphoresis (cold chills, sweaty palms), fever, and reports of impending death. It is a rather extreme condition that arrives out of nowhere, and it is also called serotonin toxicity. It is caused by too much serotonin activity in the brain-stem.

The primary purpose for serotonin is digestion, or intestinal motility.
I believe that the delay of onset is caused by the delay in digestion. It can take several days for regular diet to resume following MDMA use. When the intestines are finally called upon the nerve damage in the brain becomes apparent.

This is just one of my many theories.
From your very limited exposure you should recover very quickly.
I was a moderate user myself, only reaching 20-30 tabs lifetime in a 2 year span.
My first time rolling two weekends in a row and two nights in a row was all it took.
Plus a little too much benedryl...

I am 8 months into recovery, and it still isn't over. But life DOES get much easier.
However, research and anecdotal reports suggest that even heavy users experience complete resolution of anxiety/depression within 1-1.5 years.
Again, I doubt you will take nearly as long. I have seen several reports indicating recovery within a few weeks, rather than months.

I would wait longer than 2 months to roll again, though.
3 months is the minimum I recommend for ALL people.
If you have a history of panic attacks or mental illness, MDMA may be a risk at ANY level of use. But I would definitely recommend waiting at least 6 months before trying it again.

Come back and let us know how you are doing.
There is plenty of encouragement/advice if you need it.
 
^^ wow okay first of all that makes complete sense. That night I ate a really big dinner and had gone from eating close to nothing for the week of the carnival to a little bit and then that night I had gotten my first big meal from my favorite food place, so perhaps my body was struggling to produce the serotonin to digest the meal I had eaten and this is why I had such an extreme attack.

That night though, I literally thought I was going to the hospital, my heart rate was up 120+ beats per minute and my temperature was probably in the 100's because of this. I had extreme panic and anxiety as well. That night I drove frantically around (which was probably stupid considering I was panicking) looking for 5htp and at 5am finally got some. I took some and within 20 minutes my heartbeat went back to normal and my anxiety went (on a scale from 1-10) from a 10 to about a 3.

the day after I was feeling very anxious but mostly exhausted because I hadn't slept in 24 hours so I tried sleeping most of the day but found it hard to fall asleep. every time I would lay my head down I felt like I could hear crackling noises inside of it like my neurons we're firing weird. once I even felt like a jolt of electricity shot through my head. this, more than anything, is what gives me the most anxiety and worry because I feel as though i've done permanent damage. that night I was able to sleep through the night though, and quite well too, as soon as I fell asleep I was fine and slept like a baby.

Today (two days after my episode) i've been feeling progressively better, this morning I attempted to go to the mall with some family and my head just felt achy and I definitely felt spacey and out of it, and like my short term memory and focus was off. but I came home and took a nap after that and I've been feeling fine since then! i actually have been pretty happy this afternoon, having a good time with family for the fourth. the only time I get a rush of anxiety really is when I think about my poor brain and what I've done to it, and how I hope I haven't done anything too awful to it.

I just don't understand how some people that I went with to the carnival popped like 5 pills a day and are fine, and yet I popped 3 one night and 3 and a molly the next and I had a near death experience. I've definitely learned my lesson though, I was stupid for rolling two nights in a row and taking so many pills. If I ever roll again, which sadly I'm sure I will just because it's so amazing... it will probably be in a very long time, maybe next year, and I'll only take two, max. thank you though so much 'first bad comedown' your explanation/advice has helped a lot.

also, the only thing that really confuses me is that I had all the symptoms of serotonin syndrome, and yet I definitely was experiencing a lack of serotonin in my brain. is there any explication for that??

and finally, am I the only one who has ever experienced an episode like this before!? has anyone ever literally had a panic attack both mentally and physically like I did?? I know one person has because he is the one who told me to get the 5htp, but I just want to know if this is SUPER rare or moderately/somewhat rare.
 
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Haha I lol'd at the scolding comment. Let me make something clear... Anyone that abuses MDMA as much as I did should be in a world of hurt right now. I am not for whatever reason. I do not condone this type of abuse OR suggest it would be smart it any way... it's stupid.

I was just trying to show her that rolling twice for her first time would not leave her like this forever, that's all. Your serotonin is severely depleted right now (Unless you are blessed with a superior serotonin system :) ), and you just need to lay off of that for a good few months. I do not believe you have serotonin syndrome by the amount of pills you consumed, but I could be wrong as I have never had it. Just tryin' to help :)
 
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