Hey BL's , This is my Intro
Thanks for all the info and the ability to share it with those of
us who may live on the darker side of life. I have been an opiate user/abuser
since I was 16 yrs. old. I am now 57. Have not done a lot of usage over the
last ten years but recently began to to use for relief of pain. I hear all the
stories about doctor shopping and getting opiates by visiting your local doc
or going to a pain clinic. I guess I am too transparent for most doctors
because I never get anything from any of them. In fact, ( I have a long story
I may post some time about an incident) it was stamped on my charts tha I am a
"drug seeker" and thus has effectively cut me off of getting opiates legally.
so I buy off the street. I find this to be fairly easy these days because of
the availability (via pain clinics ) of street drugs, and the fact I am
getting older and more and more of the people I know are becoming chronically
ill (with pain) and get opiates from their doctors.
Medically speaking, I contracted HCV many years ago (probably 30) during a
period of IV drug use which finds me in the "pain" situation I am in now. In
my teens and early twenties I was a drug store break-in thief and found myself
regularly surrounded by many drugs, of course I always stayed with the
opiates. Back then it was mostly dilauded and morphine sulfates and similiar.
Anyway, HCV or the Hepatitis C Virus has slowly attacked my body and I find
myself now with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I have worked in
the construction industry for thirty five years and have literally beat my
body up pretty good. So this is what I seem to go through for short periods of
time. I find a good source of opiates and I use them until the source is gone
or I'm to the point of becoming physically addicted.
Amazingly I have never been "addicted" to the point of detoxing or going on
methadone. My last real doctor, when finding out (I told her) I was using
opiates during antiviral treatment immediately stopped my treatment and
suggested I go on methadone. I did not go on methadone. I did stop treatment
with pegylated interferon and ribivarin (which itself is very hard on the
body) and have since become further affected by this disease, HCV.
Recently I again found a source of opiates. I am very involved in the "cause"
of making people become aware of HCV and how under funded and understood and
how deadly this disease is. My older brother recently died from HCV related
illnesses, liver cancer and kidney failure. More people will die from HCV this
year than AIDS and yet the federal gov't gives 95% of the money for research
and treatment to the AIDS cause. Through my efforts to help others with the
battle of fighting this disease, HCV, I met a woman who is chronically ill,
liver cancer and others things, from which she will die within the next six
months. So, she is under hospice care, which means she is going to die soon
and they will give her just about anything for pain. Needless to say I am
getting opiates from her. Some will say I am abusing this relationship, using
her to get my drugs. Maybe so, I know this, she has no family, no loved ones,
and is on medicaid/medicare until the end. I pay her for opiates which gives
her a little income and the abiltiy to do some stuff before she dies. We went
fishing recently (all nighter at a fishing pier) and we talk about her
feelings. She cries and thinks of suicide daily. I try to be her friend. I
have given her a DVD player and 50 to 60 movies (and no I did not trade it for
drugs.) I am going to give her a laptop soon and buy her an internet
connection for three months so she can chat with others about her situation. I
really think this will help her.
So, how does all this fit into this forum? She recently gave me a matrix
fentynal patch, 100mcg/hr, and like the good druggie I am I immediately want
to "shoot it up." So I went surfing for "how too's" and found Blue Light. Let
me say thanks to whoever is in charge here. I decided that using them via IV
was the wrong decision, not just because it is real hard to do with these
patches, but also because of the danger here. And I did what was suggested for
maximum effect, that is to suck on them over a long period. As I type I can
feel the fentynal coming on.
Now, how does all this knowledge help me. As I have become involved in efforts
to help people become aware and HCV and viral hepatitis I have become aware
that a very many of these people are in chronic pain and that many of them are
also former drug abuser's like me. Many of them got sick because of IV drug
use. Though IV drug use is the primary means of contracting HCV it is not the
onle way. HCV can only be transmitted through direct blood contact and
transfer. Unlike AIDS you can not get this from sharing a glass of water, or
"off the toilet seat." Please check out <http://suncoasthepcfriends.org> for
more info on the hepatis C virus.
Again I want to thank all of you here for this forum. Though it may seem to
many that a site like this has info that people shouldn't be allowed to share,
you never know, it may have just saved my life. And finally, yes I have a
drug abuse problem, I'm like an alcoholic (which I am, though I do not drink
any more) when I get started on opiates it's hard for me to stop. But one
thing I do know for sure, there have been many days when I was almost unable
to get out of bed and go to work and because I was able to reach over to my
bed side table and take a few lortabs or vikes, or morphine tabs , or oxy's,
or whatever was available, I was then able to go to work and pay my electric
bill and rent, and buy food. I would say that if it wasn't for the ability to
get "down" then I may not be alive today anyway, for the depression from that
would have killed me. I have a saying that I use now for the doctors who
shake their heads at me when I tell them this story. "I can kick the drugs if
I have too, I have done it many times. But, I can't kick hepatitis C."
Thanks,
Randfixer
Thanks for all the info and the ability to share it with those of
us who may live on the darker side of life. I have been an opiate user/abuser
since I was 16 yrs. old. I am now 57. Have not done a lot of usage over the
last ten years but recently began to to use for relief of pain. I hear all the
stories about doctor shopping and getting opiates by visiting your local doc
or going to a pain clinic. I guess I am too transparent for most doctors
because I never get anything from any of them. In fact, ( I have a long story
I may post some time about an incident) it was stamped on my charts tha I am a
"drug seeker" and thus has effectively cut me off of getting opiates legally.
so I buy off the street. I find this to be fairly easy these days because of
the availability (via pain clinics ) of street drugs, and the fact I am
getting older and more and more of the people I know are becoming chronically
ill (with pain) and get opiates from their doctors.
Medically speaking, I contracted HCV many years ago (probably 30) during a
period of IV drug use which finds me in the "pain" situation I am in now. In
my teens and early twenties I was a drug store break-in thief and found myself
regularly surrounded by many drugs, of course I always stayed with the
opiates. Back then it was mostly dilauded and morphine sulfates and similiar.
Anyway, HCV or the Hepatitis C Virus has slowly attacked my body and I find
myself now with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I have worked in
the construction industry for thirty five years and have literally beat my
body up pretty good. So this is what I seem to go through for short periods of
time. I find a good source of opiates and I use them until the source is gone
or I'm to the point of becoming physically addicted.
Amazingly I have never been "addicted" to the point of detoxing or going on
methadone. My last real doctor, when finding out (I told her) I was using
opiates during antiviral treatment immediately stopped my treatment and
suggested I go on methadone. I did not go on methadone. I did stop treatment
with pegylated interferon and ribivarin (which itself is very hard on the
body) and have since become further affected by this disease, HCV.
Recently I again found a source of opiates. I am very involved in the "cause"
of making people become aware of HCV and how under funded and understood and
how deadly this disease is. My older brother recently died from HCV related
illnesses, liver cancer and kidney failure. More people will die from HCV this
year than AIDS and yet the federal gov't gives 95% of the money for research
and treatment to the AIDS cause. Through my efforts to help others with the
battle of fighting this disease, HCV, I met a woman who is chronically ill,
liver cancer and others things, from which she will die within the next six
months. So, she is under hospice care, which means she is going to die soon
and they will give her just about anything for pain. Needless to say I am
getting opiates from her. Some will say I am abusing this relationship, using
her to get my drugs. Maybe so, I know this, she has no family, no loved ones,
and is on medicaid/medicare until the end. I pay her for opiates which gives
her a little income and the abiltiy to do some stuff before she dies. We went
fishing recently (all nighter at a fishing pier) and we talk about her
feelings. She cries and thinks of suicide daily. I try to be her friend. I
have given her a DVD player and 50 to 60 movies (and no I did not trade it for
drugs.) I am going to give her a laptop soon and buy her an internet
connection for three months so she can chat with others about her situation. I
really think this will help her.
So, how does all this fit into this forum? She recently gave me a matrix
fentynal patch, 100mcg/hr, and like the good druggie I am I immediately want
to "shoot it up." So I went surfing for "how too's" and found Blue Light. Let
me say thanks to whoever is in charge here. I decided that using them via IV
was the wrong decision, not just because it is real hard to do with these
patches, but also because of the danger here. And I did what was suggested for
maximum effect, that is to suck on them over a long period. As I type I can
feel the fentynal coming on.
Now, how does all this knowledge help me. As I have become involved in efforts
to help people become aware and HCV and viral hepatitis I have become aware
that a very many of these people are in chronic pain and that many of them are
also former drug abuser's like me. Many of them got sick because of IV drug
use. Though IV drug use is the primary means of contracting HCV it is not the
onle way. HCV can only be transmitted through direct blood contact and
transfer. Unlike AIDS you can not get this from sharing a glass of water, or
"off the toilet seat." Please check out <http://suncoasthepcfriends.org> for
more info on the hepatis C virus.
Again I want to thank all of you here for this forum. Though it may seem to
many that a site like this has info that people shouldn't be allowed to share,
you never know, it may have just saved my life. And finally, yes I have a
drug abuse problem, I'm like an alcoholic (which I am, though I do not drink
any more) when I get started on opiates it's hard for me to stop. But one
thing I do know for sure, there have been many days when I was almost unable
to get out of bed and go to work and because I was able to reach over to my
bed side table and take a few lortabs or vikes, or morphine tabs , or oxy's,
or whatever was available, I was then able to go to work and pay my electric
bill and rent, and buy food. I would say that if it wasn't for the ability to
get "down" then I may not be alive today anyway, for the depression from that
would have killed me. I have a saying that I use now for the doctors who
shake their heads at me when I tell them this story. "I can kick the drugs if
I have too, I have done it many times. But, I can't kick hepatitis C."
Thanks,
Randfixer
