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~first night at new bar job~

neverwas

neverwas

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 23, 2002
Messages
6,705
Location
The yellow brick road!
my first night at my new 'adult' bar job...well it was interesting to say the least.





take a deep breath
its all about to begin.
this is your first night here?
please sit
do come in.

would you like a shot of something
just to calm your nerves?
rise above the rest
take the attention you know you deserve.

i strut around the bar
with out a care in the world.
my short black skirt and fish net stockings
oh so classy with my sneakers that forbid me to fall.

saftey is our number one concern
dont be afraid to use your fist.
excuse me sir this is a no touching club
do it again and you'll have the bounces putting you out the door.

picking up smoke butts from the ash tray
pouring beer till i drop.
dance with me behind the bar
lets earn ourselves some tips.
this is the job i have always wanted.
this is where i choose to exsist.

can you bite your nipple from where you are?
do it and i will give you this cash.
you're new here arent you?
can i see the rest of your gear?
come on...
just a lil bit more

i wana give you a kiss.

the stripper enters the room
all attention moves to her.
dam shes amazing
beauty made by plastic surgery
come and go
like a breeze that doesnt even exsist.

attentions back to me
we dance some, we move some
we become the hoes
that you drunken fucks have chosen to adore.

flaunting what i have
just to make my ends meet.
leaning over the bar showing just enough of my breasts
yes im half naked
not that you mind!
anything just to distract you from looking at your feet.

some are here because they're lonely.
theres those who travel far.
but i know why you're here.
why you stand and watch me from the other side of the bar.

seductive temptress and booze pourer all in one.
every guys dream
but i have none.
i will get you drunk
make inuendos i will never follow through with

like the girl you could never have.
the one you fought for continuosly.
the battle you always lost...
never won.

i will be your slave
get you what you want.
i will be your naked bar girl.
i will be your visible whore.
just show me the money
and i will dance for you.
i will give you what you want.

i am what you adore.

boys walk her to the station
just to see she gets home safe.
also make sure she isnt followed.
we dont want any trouble
the drunken blind always misbehave.

now at home
i smell like stale ciggarettes and over poured beer
ive got lots of stories to tell
but how i wish you were here.

someone to cuddle me and hold me tight.
someone who isnt sleazy or demeaning
just a friend for me in to take delight.

the clocks ticked on by
its just gone past 1 (am)
time for me to sleep
and forget bout smokes and beer
dream of things that rhyme with sun.
 
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*starfalls69* said:
we become the hoes
that you drunken fucks have chosen to adore.
**********
i will be your slave
get you what you want.
i will be your naked bar girl.
i will be your visible whore.
just show me the money
and i will dance for you.
i will give you what you want.

i am what you adore.
**********
the clocks ticked on by
its just gone past 1 (am)
time for me to sleep
and forget bout smokes and beer
dream of things that rhyme with sun.
Click to expand...

I liked this a lot....those lines in particular really tell a story I think...I think this would make a great piece to work on a bit and turn into a kickass song. PJ Harvey stylee. =D
 
:/ I'm sorrying darling I still love you more than a cheap whore....

I'll keep doing the count down with you..

doing this your a stronger girl than I.. I would never have enough guts to that... */ looks down at my body.. shrugs.. at least my man likes it;)
 
i know what its like being on that side of the bar too... and what you will do to make a buck. Winking at a 50-year old guy who "loves your thigh highs!" Doing a shot with some scumbag who is only going to leave you a quarter and his number on a crumpled napkin. Flirting with some guy you'll never see again with your b/f standing 10 feet away doing the same to some girl... cuz that's the bar business. You pay me, i forget you, and life goes on.

now at home
i smell like stale ciggarettes and over poured beer
ive got lots of stories to tell
but how i wish you were here.
Click to expand...
i really liked these lines.
 
*starfalls69* said:

some are here because they're lonely.
theres those who travel far.
but i know why you're here.
why you stand and watch me from the other side of the bar.

seductive temptress and booze pourer all in one.
every guys dream
but i have none.
i will get you drunk
make inuendos i will never follow through with

like the girl you could never have.
the one you fought for continuosly.
the battle you always lost...
never won.

i will be your slave
get you what you want.
i will be your naked bar girl.
i will be your visible whore.
just show me the money
and i will dance for you.
i will give you what you want.

i am what you adore.
Click to expand...

Good shit ;)
 
Raz: yeah i kinda felt like twisting bits of it to turn it into soem form of song. nice idea :)

frosty: awww aint you a gem ;)
24.gif


after re-reading this i didnt realise how un-polished this sounded lmao. i was sooo tierd when i posted this.

now at home
i smell like stale ciggarettes and over poured beer
ive got lots of stories to tell
but how i wish you were here.
Click to expand...

thats my favourite bit to e-girl.

my first night wasnt as bad as it seems to come across. it was actually a real blast! i learned A LOT about myself and my confidence to :D (im now offically hired to) last night was my trial shift so YAY ME! *bounces*
 
Very well written, I enjoyed it alot :)

some are here because they're lonely.
theres those who travel far.
but i know why you're here.
why you stand and watch me from the other side of the bar.

seductive temptress and booze pourer all in one.
every guys dream
but i have none.
i will get you drunk
make inuendos i will never follow through with

like the girl you could never have.
the one you fought for continuosly.
the battle you always lost...
never won.

i will be your slave
get you what you want.
i will be your naked bar girl.
i will be your visible whore.
just show me the money
and i will dance for you.
i will give you what you want.


definately my fav part - very image provoking and seeped in realism! maybe cause its based off such *slaps own forehead*
 
I'll take a double vodka on the rocks with a twist, don't forget to shake your ass as you walk away ;)

Perhaps it's just me, the reading on this one is a little disjointed, not as fluid as some of your other work (and not that that's a bad thing), but nonetheless, I don't feel like I have to ask you about your new job, cause now I know!
 
^^^^see my previous post baby ;) *shakes dat ass*

after re-reading this i didnt realise how un-polished this sounded lmao. i was sooo tierd when i posted this.
Click to expand...

im gonna probly fix it up a bit cause i was so tierd and drunk when i wrote this lol. *no more after work beers for me* ;)

*BUMP* for brothermarcus =D

i had this song running through my head a lot of the night...specially these few lines:

You're just another pretty face
In a room full of whores
No you don't mean much
Click to expand...
orgy - dizzy
 
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*bumps back*

i've only been in one strip club, and this piece is a lot more romantic than that experience... good job!
 
Starfalls - I think this peice has a lot more power and energy than many of your others. Yes, it is a little rough around the edges (kinda like the job eh?), but if you want to polish it up a bit, I think it'll be fantastic. Just a hint more rhythm and a little gramattical tidying.

Keep up the nice work!
 
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