looda
Bluelighter
First MDMA roll - new to MDMA, experienced marijuana user - life changing experience
Habitual reader of bluelight, first time poster. First time I've felt like I've had anything to say...so I'll get to that now.
Two weekends ago, some of my friends randomly showed up at my house. They were all pretty baked, as we are all pretty regular cannabis users, and three of them, D, M, and N, have experimented with heavier drugs, namely coke and MDMA. I take Adderol on a prescription, but have only abused it once, and I didn't really like it. For a long time, I'd been wanting to try shrooms, 2C-I, MDMA, anything other than weed, but not what I consider "crazy shit" like coke. I know that seems strange to not consider MDMA "hard" like coke, but that's just how my brain works. Moving on, though...
D had obtained some MDMA from N, and N was rolling off two pills. He'd also done a little meth, so he was pretty much out of it. I saw how he was; he was really mellow, talkative, happy, and not being how he usually is...he's not one to be friendly and open, so I was instantly interested in trying some. We went out back and smoked a couple pipes of decent chronic, but that was split between 8 of us, so we weren't that high. At this point in time, we're all feeling really good, and another guy who was over, V, was reaching the peak of the psilocybin he'd taken earlier...so seeing everyone else this drugged up, and having D, N, and M egg me on basically forced me into popping the MDMA. All of these guys are people I trust very much, so I didn't even think about it, which in retrospect wasn't that good of an idea, but I know they wouldn't put me in a place of harm, so I hadn't even worried about it.
We hung out for about an 30 minutes, and then I started feeling it. D, N, and M were all outside smoking some cigarettes, and I had no choice but to go outside and tell them how incredible this was. They just looked at me with huge grins on their faces and gave me high-fives, and that was what got me hooked. I've not done it since then, but I plan on doing it more...I keep getting off topic, so I apologize to those of you who are still reading.
I have a pretty damn nice system in my car, so we drove a few blocks away from any kind of civilization, and started bumping. That was easily the most amazing (physical) feeling I've ever had, it's kind of hard to describe other than just pure euphoria. I was lying down in my back seat just feeling the music. That feeling I can't describe other than I felt like I was going to die, it felt so good. We came back to my house, probably about 30 minutes after I'd started feeling it, and started watching the visualizations in windows media player on my TV...that is something I really think everyone should do before they die.
I go onto my porch and start going through my phonebook, calling anyone and everyone. That was a good experience too - that was the first verbal interaction I'd had with anyone since the roll started. We got done with the computer after 15 minutes, and then N has to leave with D, V, and M. I start spazzing, cuz I realize I won't have anyone to roll with and share what it's like.
I get ahold of A, who I normally wouldn't ever hang out with, and I end up meeting up with him and some of his friends. We go back to the place where A is staying, and they're all drinking. I know a couple of people there, but they're just faces in the crowd. We all get a little hungry, and go to a Steak and Shake (as it is about 2 in the morning at this point in time) and are sitting in my car eating, as some asswads come up next to us and start giving us some shit. I glanced over with a smile and ask how they're doing as they got out of their car, and they started mouthing off, asking what we were doing out, and just being dicks...but I was cool with it, I just told them that we didn't want any trouble, and to mind their own business...what they said didn't really bother me much anyway, I felt like I was on top of the world.
We head back to A's, and we start this conversation about love, what kind of relationships we've had, how we feel about them, about what makes us happy, ect. At this point in time, I realize just what a profound affect this drug is having on me. I start spitting out words that I never thought I had the guts, let alone intelligence, of sharing, and I guess that all of it really struck a good nerve with them. They apparently took some quotes away, so it must have been something pretty good. This conversation had lasted for about 2-3 hours, so I was coming down at this point. I'd go into some more details about it, but this post is getting awfully long the way it is...not to mention, somewhat off topic.I go back to A's real house to crash, and on the way over, I start talking with him about my life, about what I've done in my life, what I regret about it, what I like about what I've done, what I want in the future, ect...and at this point in time, it's almost too much for me to take, in a good way though. I start to realize just how much I'd learned that night, not only about myself, but about these people that I'd misunderstood for the longest time. I had always viewed A as an arrogant, cocky, wigger if I may, but I found out he was a deep, intelligent, funny, sensitive person, which was good. While I was still rolling, I kept telling him how bad I felt that I'd "gotten him wrong" the whole time, but he told me that it was all good, and that felt amazing...like I'd found a brother. Not only that, thoughts had been running through my head the whole time, and I'd started to realize who I was, how people saw me, and how I'd done bad to people in past relationships. This was good and bad; it made me kind of depressed for a few minutes, but then I realized that I could make it right to them. That made the entire trip that much better.
Having said all that, thanks for those who read all of this. Just felt like I had to let it all out...not sure what caused this compulsion, but I just did it anyway. Good day to you all.
Habitual reader of bluelight, first time poster. First time I've felt like I've had anything to say...so I'll get to that now.
Two weekends ago, some of my friends randomly showed up at my house. They were all pretty baked, as we are all pretty regular cannabis users, and three of them, D, M, and N, have experimented with heavier drugs, namely coke and MDMA. I take Adderol on a prescription, but have only abused it once, and I didn't really like it. For a long time, I'd been wanting to try shrooms, 2C-I, MDMA, anything other than weed, but not what I consider "crazy shit" like coke. I know that seems strange to not consider MDMA "hard" like coke, but that's just how my brain works. Moving on, though...
D had obtained some MDMA from N, and N was rolling off two pills. He'd also done a little meth, so he was pretty much out of it. I saw how he was; he was really mellow, talkative, happy, and not being how he usually is...he's not one to be friendly and open, so I was instantly interested in trying some. We went out back and smoked a couple pipes of decent chronic, but that was split between 8 of us, so we weren't that high. At this point in time, we're all feeling really good, and another guy who was over, V, was reaching the peak of the psilocybin he'd taken earlier...so seeing everyone else this drugged up, and having D, N, and M egg me on basically forced me into popping the MDMA. All of these guys are people I trust very much, so I didn't even think about it, which in retrospect wasn't that good of an idea, but I know they wouldn't put me in a place of harm, so I hadn't even worried about it.
We hung out for about an 30 minutes, and then I started feeling it. D, N, and M were all outside smoking some cigarettes, and I had no choice but to go outside and tell them how incredible this was. They just looked at me with huge grins on their faces and gave me high-fives, and that was what got me hooked. I've not done it since then, but I plan on doing it more...I keep getting off topic, so I apologize to those of you who are still reading.
I have a pretty damn nice system in my car, so we drove a few blocks away from any kind of civilization, and started bumping. That was easily the most amazing (physical) feeling I've ever had, it's kind of hard to describe other than just pure euphoria. I was lying down in my back seat just feeling the music. That feeling I can't describe other than I felt like I was going to die, it felt so good. We came back to my house, probably about 30 minutes after I'd started feeling it, and started watching the visualizations in windows media player on my TV...that is something I really think everyone should do before they die.
I go onto my porch and start going through my phonebook, calling anyone and everyone. That was a good experience too - that was the first verbal interaction I'd had with anyone since the roll started. We got done with the computer after 15 minutes, and then N has to leave with D, V, and M. I start spazzing, cuz I realize I won't have anyone to roll with and share what it's like.
I get ahold of A, who I normally wouldn't ever hang out with, and I end up meeting up with him and some of his friends. We go back to the place where A is staying, and they're all drinking. I know a couple of people there, but they're just faces in the crowd. We all get a little hungry, and go to a Steak and Shake (as it is about 2 in the morning at this point in time) and are sitting in my car eating, as some asswads come up next to us and start giving us some shit. I glanced over with a smile and ask how they're doing as they got out of their car, and they started mouthing off, asking what we were doing out, and just being dicks...but I was cool with it, I just told them that we didn't want any trouble, and to mind their own business...what they said didn't really bother me much anyway, I felt like I was on top of the world.
We head back to A's, and we start this conversation about love, what kind of relationships we've had, how we feel about them, about what makes us happy, ect. At this point in time, I realize just what a profound affect this drug is having on me. I start spitting out words that I never thought I had the guts, let alone intelligence, of sharing, and I guess that all of it really struck a good nerve with them. They apparently took some quotes away, so it must have been something pretty good. This conversation had lasted for about 2-3 hours, so I was coming down at this point. I'd go into some more details about it, but this post is getting awfully long the way it is...not to mention, somewhat off topic.I go back to A's real house to crash, and on the way over, I start talking with him about my life, about what I've done in my life, what I regret about it, what I like about what I've done, what I want in the future, ect...and at this point in time, it's almost too much for me to take, in a good way though. I start to realize just how much I'd learned that night, not only about myself, but about these people that I'd misunderstood for the longest time. I had always viewed A as an arrogant, cocky, wigger if I may, but I found out he was a deep, intelligent, funny, sensitive person, which was good. While I was still rolling, I kept telling him how bad I felt that I'd "gotten him wrong" the whole time, but he told me that it was all good, and that felt amazing...like I'd found a brother. Not only that, thoughts had been running through my head the whole time, and I'd started to realize who I was, how people saw me, and how I'd done bad to people in past relationships. This was good and bad; it made me kind of depressed for a few minutes, but then I realized that I could make it right to them. That made the entire trip that much better.
Having said all that, thanks for those who read all of this. Just felt like I had to let it all out...not sure what caused this compulsion, but I just did it anyway. Good day to you all.
