first day of D/T at home, insight pls

[jaem]

So I've used oxycocone 30 mg for about 3(ish) years... on and off, mostly on. But I've always used to self medicate, therefore, a quarter (7.5mg) of a 30 mg oxycodone was enough for me. I would take anywhere from 1-3 a day. I started taking them just to work (server/bartender) because they were late nights and sometimes strenuous, and because I do suffer from anxiety, bouts of depression, chronic muscular pain (upper back), fatigue, lack of... whatever, and newly, joint pain (starting to be tested for rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune, lymes, etc)

I only graduated from a quarter of a pill to a half (15 mg) Id say within the last year. Now my days are consumed by how much money Ill have to get enough to last me. And just taking them at to work or when I felt like crap (flu, hang over, whenever I just didnt feel good) to taking them as I wake up with my 4 year script of klonopin (.75 in the mornings). As of yesterday, the last day I took any opiates, I was taking about 60-90mg of oxycodone a day for Id say several months via .15mg per dosage.

What Im wondering is, how intense the W/D may be, I seem to be much more emotionally/mentally susceptible but physically as well. Whats interesting is just this past june I had an engagement down south and I was unable to take any opiate for 3-4 days and felt no w/d at all. I suppose it was not much later than that, if later than that, that I went up from 7.5mg per dosage to 15mg per dosage.

A friend of mine gave me 2 sublingual subs, he said based on my dosing I should take an 8th of the 16 mg sub at most.

Im sick of living my life in a vicious circle getting no where spending all my money on these things just to get through the days. I want to move on and be happy and normal. I know Im no where near being in as deep as lots of people, and lots of people i know, but it is starting to just consume my life and my employers seem to be getting suspicious and I am told by a handful of people that I live my life like an alcoholic or addict. I chock that up to being brought up with terrible parenting and now being an ACOA (adult child of alcoholics)... but it does seem that my habbit has made it worse.

Any tips on getting through the weeks or months it can take to re-balance my brain and body, and on how to actually treat what I have going on (I only self medicated because doctors were of ZERO help) would be what im looking for in response to this post.

 

[T. Calderone]

It's hard to predict how severe your withdrawals will be since you seemed to have no trouble last June. Has your dosage increased since then? Detoxing at home was not easy for me, I lacked discipline to see it through a few times. But it can be done once your mind is made up. Your friend has the right idea with subs, start with .5 to 1 mg. Do you have access to any benzos at all or gabapentin? That might help you sleep better but you don't want to get dependent on those either. Clonidine is good for restless legs but with subs you may not need anything else.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Jaem and welcome to BL

Sorry to hear you're not feeling well.

Sounds to me like you have some brain deregulation going on. I also suffered from this for many years.

Here is a good thread about the conclusions I came to and how i treated myself successfully. The title may not sugest its about what you are going through but it is.

An article I wrote on help with withdrawal, inspired by the Thomas Recipe
Depressed? Fatigued? Tired? Yes, for over 20 years now....


I'm not a big fan of the sub detox. I feel it works well for people who have very small habits of short duration. For others i feel it just keeps people in acute withdrawal for much longer and does not have much if any positive results.

If you cold turkey it you will see the light at the end of the tunnel in a week of less. Any paws you experience should dissipate and disappear in under eight months.

Here are some medications that you can explore to help you through the withdrawals and some very good information on PAWS and how to deal with it.

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE< >here<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol
Senokot S is a stool softener and laxative. If you do not want the laxative you can go for strait stool softenerDioctyl sodium sulfosuccinate.

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Managing depressive thinking
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread


As far as dealing with your underlying symptoms.. I would have a blood test done for vitamin D, testosterone if you are a male. I would take up regular aerobic exercise four days a week. I would implement and practice very good sleep hygiene. The more dysregulated the brain gets the worse the symptoms get.


You got this

 

[jaem]

My dosage at its highest was 15 mg per dose, up to 90-120 mg a day (120 being only a few times). I have made it so that i dont have access to money which is the big helper for me lol. The sub my friend gave me seems to be working well with coffee. at night its harder. during the day im practically normal but i only last took 90 mg total on this past Monday, ending with 15 mg at 4am Monday night/techincally Tuesday morning. I am prescribed .5 klonopin for my general/social anxiety for Ive been taking 1. klonopin with the sub in the morning. Pairing that with Iboprophen when needed it seems okay. I must say I did do this over the summer unintentionally, I took a flight from ny to the south for a family affaire, was without for 3 days and maybe a touch less patient, i was fine. i think for me it is very very mental. however due to my muscular issues and joint pain it may be more frustrating this time. im hoping i can find a non narcotic to deal with those two because they are consuming my body... im only just 25 years old.
Thanks for your input

 

[jaem]

Neversickanymore,
well if youre name wasnt convincing enough im sure some of those links are. lol.
thanks a lot for the time and patience to go through all that.
definitely some brain deregulation. no one seems to know what. suffered from insomnia from 13-16, 5 days at most with no sleep. it was bad. i am a female, so testosterone not sure if that would apply to me, but i have quite a slew of tests on that paper. more than i mentioned.
the whole PAWS thing is a super bummer, i was just explaining to a friend, that i used them more once i realized they eased my pain n helped me get thru the day. so physical pain, bye bye- first thing to go. second to go? mental ambiguity... byee. third? emotional stress... bye also in higher amounts. so really i need just good old coping skills because apparently i suck at them lol.
I appreciate all the link-age brother (or sister, who knows), ill def go through some of that over the next couple days.
much appreciated.

 

[neversickanymore]

Just a heads up the withdrawls will not start untill 2-3 days after your last sub dose.

Physical dependence is what causes the withdrawls.

Addiction is all mental. If you have a strong addictive drive you will benifit from addressing that. Most people focus on the physical stuff, but for most people that turns out to be the easy part.

Do you have any ideas about addresing the addiction?