• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

First Date Sex-Question for the Guys

ccm said:
If you have hot sex with a gal on the first date, do you think she is a slut and never call her back? Or do you like the chase better?
Click to expand...
If it was love at first sight and this was my true solemate, love of my life, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with... I still wouldn't be likely to have sex on the first date. I wouldn't have casual sex but that's just me. Someone who loves you wouldn't just want sex on the first date.<3
 
I_Stay_Dead said:
If it was love at first sight and this was my true solemate, love of my life, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with... I still wouldn't be likely to have sex on the first date. I wouldn't have casual sex but that's just me. Someone who loves you wouldn't just want sex on the first date.<3
Click to expand...


Why would it be "just want sex"? Isn't it possible to have a good time together and somehow have sex be a part of that?

/mludd
 
I_Stay_Dead said:
Someone who loves you wouldn't just want sex on the first date.<3
Click to expand...

I dont fall in love on the first date. Fortunately.

And though the sex is no doubt important, there are other reasons to kick it, like chemistry, companionship, and connecting with another human being.
 
mludd said:
Strangely I feel the exact opposite, I wouldn't want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who didn't like me enough on the first date to have sex with me, if you have to work on getting someone to like you then there isn't enough chemistry (IMHO).

/mludd
Click to expand...


Mludd, just for your benefit and the furtherence of your knowledge of women, a woman not having sex with you on the first date is in no way indicative of how much she does/does not like you.

I have refused intercourse on dates for many reasons.
 
ccm said:
Mludd, just for your benefit and the furtherence of your knowledge of women, a woman not having sex with you on the first date is in no way indicative of how much she does/does not like you.

I have refused intercourse on dates for many reasons.
Click to expand...

Obviously I have no problem with there being some kind of external factor that interferes with a woman's willingness to have sex with me but if she chooses not to have sex with me because she doesn't want me to think that she's a slut then clearly she's not my type.

/mludd
 
I wouldn't think less of her, but my experience in these situations is that the relationship didn't go very far either.

That probably also has a lot to do with other variables as well. Girls I've had strong relationships with have started out as friends first, and girls I've slept with early on have tended be true hook-ups (took home from bar or party), rather than someone I actually went on a date with.

Whether it influences his opinion of you or not, I wouldn't be surprised if it influenced the relationship itself negatively. Of course, I also agree with many that I need to figure out the sexual compatibility early on - just maybe not on the first time out.

My feeling is that the time before sex is a very specific phase in a relationship (can be either time spent dating or as just friends). Sex changes things in good and bad ways, and so I think it's important to have time beforehand to learn how things are between the two of you before those changes take place.
 
^Women do not want men to think that they are "easy" and have been screwing everyone because she is letting you tap it. Actually, if you are in a hot make-out session and she won't take it all the way it is because she likes you! IMO, if you are hot enough to make out with, you are definitely hot enough to have sex with.

What if you met the love of your life and she would not do you 'cause she wanted to wait until y'all know each other better, do you begrudge her wanting to put the emotional connection before the physicality?
 
double ewe said:
Sex changes things in good and bad ways
Click to expand...

Your statement reminds me of a old saying, "you can't go back to holding hands."
 
ccm said:
^Women do not want men to think that they are "easy" and have been screwing everyone because she is letting you tap it. Actually, if you are in a hot make-out session and she won't take it all the way it is because she likes you! IMO, if you are hot enough to make out with, you are definitely hot enough to have sex with.
Click to expand...

But if someone thinks I'd think less of them because they'd have sex with me on the first date then clearly that person doesn't understand me very well at all as I assume this isn't exactly something that would come up within the first twenty minutes of meeting each other...

What if you met the love of your life and she would not do you 'cause she wanted to wait until y'all know each other better, do you begrudge her wanting to put the emotional connection before the physicality?
Click to expand...

For me the physical and emotional parts of a relationship are interconnected in many ways and I wouldn't want to be with someone who wants to just focus on one of those areas (regardless of if it's just sex or just the emotional part, as a friend, FWB or just a fuck buddy, sure, but not in a long-term romantic relationship), if you're feeling like having sex with me and I'm feeling like having sex with you then why not just have sex instead of denying yourself that simply because you're playing some game in your head?

/mludd
 
I guess what I am saying is, we could obviously make love/have sex (that is the easy part), but do we have a genuine emotional connection (the not so easy part)?
 
^ I've often felt that sex actually helps the emotional connection as both I and most girls I've had sex with have "opened up" quite a bit more after sex.

/mludd
 
I think it would be fair to say that unless you have the most awesome and probably long first date, then it's unlikely they will understand you well enough to be completely confident of knowing whether you only want sex or not.
 
Carsick said:
I think it would be fair to say that unless you have the most awesome and probably long first date, then it's unlikely they will understand you well enough to be completely confident of knowing whether you only want sex or not.
Click to expand...

That is probably true but I've found that with those select few real American-style dates I've gone on I've still had a fair bit of friendly contact with the girl prior to the date, and most "dates" I've been on haven't really been dates in the way most americans seem to think of them, the widespread adoption of that kind of date is actually a pretty new phenomena here in Sweden

/mludd
 
I have never been on a date with somebody I knew beforehand, unless you count meeting them in the pub or at a party and getting to know them there, then going out again.
 
ccm said:
Mludd, just for your benefit and the furtherence of your knowledge of women, a woman not having sex with you on the first date is in no way indicative of how much she does/does not like you.

I have refused intercourse on dates for many reasons.
Click to expand...

You're right about that. Gosh, you remind me of a poster who used to come around here with some frequency... hmmm.

I've had first date sex and refused first date sex. My partner (of 14 months :)) and I waited about 6 weeks because we were both nervous being fresh out of long-term relationships.

My partner previous to that (of ~18 months) and I did it the night we met.

I don't like to put a timer on when it's appropriate to act on my emotions.
 
^Ah,emotions. I have trouble controlling mine when I am making out and I get heated up. It is very hard for me to cool back down.

Reminds me of the song by Steve Miller Band:

"I heat up, I can't cool down.
Our situation goes 'round and 'round."

Who do I remind you of? An ex-poster? Did they like sex, too? HOO-RAY!
 
It depends on the situation a lot.

For example if it's a girl I've known for a little while but then we finally go on a date and hook up it's a little different than just hooking up with someone you barely know.

I think it also depends if you really hit it off and make a connection or if both of you know it's basically going to be a one night stand.

That being said having sex on the first date wouldn't make me never call her again but it would make me question her character a little bit. If i thought that there could be something deeper there i would definately call back. It must suck to be a girl...double standards and what not..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top