This is my first entry, and rather than ranting about my past i will just start by typing about the present. Basically all i would have to say about my past is the few hospitalizations and rehabs iv been to in order to get away from the drugs, but needless to say i always end up right back where i started, but not as bad or intense as the original problem i suppose. But that leads me to what i have been thinking about today. for a while i was sure i was done with the downers but it turned into being down on the downers everyday again. i have no job, i lost my car so i don't have money to be spending on the opiates when i feel like i have definitely developed a problem again. today is one of the few days i in a couple weeks that i have not been able to get an OC or Perk due to not having money. this leaves me extremely irritated trying to think of all the possible ways i could make money. i hate the fact that im back to feeling like i need some sort of drug just to get me through the day. i feel bad because my friends and family have gone through so much to help me with my drug problems, but i am carrying on my life fine. well i guess that's easy to say now since its only been a couple weeks that im doing opiates almost every day again. the urges that i am getting to steal things in order to make money is horrible because im really not the type of person to fuck other people over. i refrain from stealing things right now but what if things get worse in the weeks to come? I NEED MONEY. tomorrow i am going to return my photography book in order to hopefully get enough money to throw down on half an 80. which
is sad that i have decided to fail class that i have paid to take just for 40 mg of an oc. pathetic. im pathetic. why is this happening again? Its very sad that the reason i feel like i need to get a new job is to be able to support my opiate habit. 
well im going to go figure out how i could get money so i can skip class and get high tonight =] later.
is sad that i have decided to fail class that i have paid to take just for 40 mg of an oc. pathetic. im pathetic. why is this happening again? Its very sad that the reason i feel like i need to get a new job is to be able to support my opiate habit. well im going to go figure out how i could get money so i can skip class and get high tonight =] later.