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Fired Up! The February 2015 Getting and Staying Clean and Sober Thread

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GenericName12 said:
I work out at a gym that doubles as a homeless shelter. Tonight it is minus 25 degrees outside. Yes, minus.

I saw some people today on my way out lining up who were clearly in withdrawal. Broke my heart. Saw a young couple sitting on the floor hugging each other.

Seeing this stuff is a constant reminder of how close to this me and any addict can be to this.

Grateful to be sober and going home to my warm apartment to spend valentines day with my girlfriend. I wouldn't have any of this if I wasn't sober.

Edit: I apologize if I offended anyone in this situation. It wasn't my intention.
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Yeah, it is freezing in Chicago. I spent Valentines day with my GF up here and we both had a bit of a rough day craving wise. I used to drink alot in the area I am staying at and I actually caught myself looking into the old bars I used to frequent. We went to breakfast and then high tailed it to a meeting. Need one bigtime. After, I felt much better. Of course the topic was basically "we cannot have just one drink"

And I refer to those moments as "yets"... If I go back out and use I will be homeless, I cannot run back to my parents anymore. They are supportive of me, but they simply do not want to see the using me around anymore. I don't blame them for that. Yet more motivation to stay clean.
 
^^ it's pretty awesome how good you can feel when you walk out of a meeting! Esp when you feel like the topic was just for you that day!
 
Congrats, everyone...especially phactor for 9 months. Awesome!
I'm trying to make a plan for doing something memorable on the first day of spring. Don't know what yet, but I feel like I'm just coming back to life, so I want to celebrate spring this year. Any thoughts?
 
wanting said:
Good for you, Captain.Heroin! How are you feeling otherwise? I worry about you.
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Honestly, really bad.

I think all the "PAWS symptoms" I'm experiencing may be related to other health issues (which explains the incentive I had to self medicate using heroin/buprenorphine, etc)

I have a lot of things stressing me out and depressing me

Most of the time I feel like crying and being alone. I'm not so lucky as to be able to indulge myself in these areas.

Congrats to everyone with some time clean. And thank you for being an inspiration to me. I don't know if I could do this, unless I knew others were going through this too, somewhere out there.
 
Congrats CH!
I remember when you were on day 5 or 6.
Although you often say you experience depression, sadness and that you life is not as worthy, I see from your posts that you are doing much better.
I will go through a similar situation w/ mdone. I thought it was okay to keep using it 4ever but am now convinced that I have to quit.
So I´m almost ready to jump to zero cuz I finally manage to decreased it significantly. Almost nothing.
Problem is that I´m always tired, sad, lacking energy and fearful.
 
I tried stopping my Wellbutrin, which turned out to be a mistake. After I took it today I realized that I basically still need the stuff for the time being. I was diagnosed with ADD in the late 80s and motivation and focus are still very hard for me. Not a good combo when you are in Grad School (even though I am killing it gradewise)
 
wanting said:
Congrats, everyone...especially phactor for 9 months. Awesome!
I'm trying to make a plan for doing something memorable on the first day of spring. Don't know what yet, but I feel like I'm just coming back to life, so I want to celebrate spring this year. Any thoughts?
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Maybe some camping in the wild with good friends and set a fire and bbqing some food!
 
I need to associate myself with better people. They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. That really made me think...

i need to make a lot of changes to get my life where I want it to be.
 
I have about 3 and 2/3rds months off suboxone now. feels good. today was a good day

I had 1 really bad PTSD flashback but I managed to not let it control me and I focused away from it effectively within a few minutes

BlueSaffron said:
i need to make a lot of changes to get my life where I want it to be.
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I realized this over the last 6 months

and that's why I've managed to be clean for 4 months

in this same period I got my life going back on track in just a few small ways. but at least quitting drugs isn't the ONLY thing. :)

the last time I tried getting clean, I did nothing else positive other than to quit using buprenorphine and focus on writing

now I'm doing so much more and I'm sure I won't relapse as long as I can keep this productive in life

phactor said:
I tried stopping my Wellbutrin, which turned out to be a mistake. After I took it today I realized that I basically still need the stuff for the time being. I was diagnosed with ADD in the late 80s and motivation and focus are still very hard for me. Not a good combo when you are in Grad School (even though I am killing it gradewise)
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killing it meaning you're getting good grades?

and 1) congrats on being in grad school man, and on your career, and 2) if you want to try discontinuing wellbutrin in the future, try a taper

in the past I've personally just stopped taking 300mg XL per day, and I noticed absolutely no difference (I guess whatever positive effects the drug had on me, it has had a permanent effect on my brain)

but that's just my experience, and I'm sure that it's totally different from person to person. especially with a weird multi-receptor hitting drug like bupropion, buprenorphine, alcohol, etc - the more receptors a drug hits, the more unique it tends to be from person to person
 
Hey guys, what's up.

Today is my first sober day in a while. I hope I can make it stick. I'm trying to find some local people in recovery, but the meetings all seem to be in the big city and I'm hiding out from there right now. So I guess it's recovery on my own!
 
Did you look into both NA and AA? I find that even some AA meeting help me with my addiction. Mentally I just change what they're saying to be my DOC instead of alcohol. As a matter of fact, my favorite meeting that I attend is an AA meeting. An ol timers one at that lol. I say that because most of the members are up above 60 and probably have several years. There are a few tho, closer to me. Either way I can usually find their message if I listen with an open mind. Best of luck!
 
Phactor- i am really happy to see you are still clean i went to rehab last year at about the same time u decided to get clean i fucked it up after 4 months but im glad to see you are still going strong hopefully forever!
Lacster- birthright is a amazing trip i am israeli so i been to israel many times but still enjoyed birthright very much.you should def take advantage of the free trip and go if you have any questions feel free to ask here or pm me.
By the way i have 8 days off from any mind altering substances :) feel like shit tho need sleep bad!
 
You sure are a inspiration captian!!
Im on day 9 still no sleep
Trying to give up smoking cigs also now that shit is hard
I hope i really make it this time around its bin a long ten years
 
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