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Finding a Partner Seems Impossible

M

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
703
Location
Gainesville, Florida
Hey guys

I'm 26 years old and have limited dating experience. I can converse with girls but it never goes any further. I'm not ugly; but I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, either. I'm 6'2" and 190 lbs and caucasian. I study full-time at the University of Florida and see so many beautiful girls there. And it sucks knowing that I can never have any relationship with them other than a platonic one. What makes it worse is all the sex stories I here from guys on campus, but not only guys, girls talk about it too when I'm in earshot! It makes me both jealous and envious.

I don't have a very large social network. So meeting girls through friends won't work. I've tried online dating, and have had five one-off dates. No connection or "chemistry" as girls like to call it.

In my life to date I've had sex with 6 different girls, two were GFs and the others were one-night stands. However, the last time I had sex was 2 years ago. Obviously this has made me sexually frustrated. When I walk by a pretty girl I avoid looking at her because I don't think she would appreciate someone like me looking at her. I've asked two girls on campus to grab a coffee between classes, but both said "no" because they have boyfriends (or so they say).

So, how can I find a partner? I'm not a great conversationalist but I like to think that I'm a pretty decent guy with good morals.

Thanks for your time, guys. All respones appreciated.
 
i dunno man but for a start if you think yourself somehow below them like you can't even look at them then that sort of frame of mind is naturally repulsive to most people
you cant really change your mindset on a whim but you can 'practice' changing it and 'fake it til you make it'
 
Sweet Jones said:
i dunno man but for a start if you think yourself somehow below them like you can't even look at them then that sort of frame of mind is naturally repulsive to most people
you cant really change your mindset on a whim but you can 'practice' changing it and 'fake it til you make it'
Click to expand...
I don't look at them in passing because they would probably feel gross that a guy like me is checking them out/looking at them. These girls can easily get guys with a 6-pack and great personality to boot. Why would they want an average-looking dude with a poor personality? I'm sure you wouldn't want to be oggled by some short obese girl.
 
SMILE, be humble, respectful, and persistent.

You're tall, good weight, and in school, so you seem to have things going for you....

"because I don't think she would appreciate someone like me looking at her." Ok, that is a self-defeating attitude. Girls don't like to be leered at. Looking is usually ok. Women have egos too, who doesn't like a compliment?

Not everyone is super attractive, but one thing I've noticed as I get older is that the less attractive people are partnered/married at a much higher rate than the super-attractive peoples. Not so high-maintenance, more humble, more willing to work for things? In some general senses, yes, but it's not inclusive.

In short, you need to go out and TRY. What do you have to lose? It sounds like you're rather down on yourself, and I'm not necessarily convinced you have a reason to be. You say you've slept with six girls, so clearly girls find you fuckable.
 
All I can say right now, is that you're not alone. I'm sorry I don't have any better advice right now, when I am not in such a negative mindset I'll revisit this thread, but I'm just going to say this really quick a few tips or just general things that this world has shown me to be the difference between something beautiful and a failure. I don't know what kind of "Partner" you're looking for, I can't tell if you're looking to have a strictly intimate / sex only relationship, vs a serious long term relationship, but these things are kind of universal, at least I think so:

1) Confidence. Women can sense insecurity and it sends them running. I've seen even false confidence get plenty of friends laid and once they master that, they start to have meaningful relationships.

2) Security, be it financially, emotionally be there for her, physically have her back in any situation, protection and the ability to have no fear in the presence of evil being able to handle any situation that life throws at either of you.

3) Stability - Kind of ties into security, but I guess what I mean here is for particularly when you are outside of your comfort zone, like talking to a really pretty woman can be. Not showing signs of weakness even if you have some at first, being able to step out of your comfort zone to begin with and put yourself out there, the friends you DO have, even if you don't have a very large social network, go out with your friends, as much as you can, attend social events like parties if you don't usually go to parties, or I hate to promote alcohol but to the bar if that's what your friends do, it all depends, I don't know what y'all in Florida do to socialize, never been to FL. But you said meeting girls through friends won't work, I just think you possibly haven't tried to put yourself out there and really give it your all, just assuming... It's easy to give up on something if you think it's impossible, but there are a lot more possible things that I once thought were impossible happen to me, opportunities and trouble...

4) Preparedness and Hygiene- Obviously, but every little thing makes a difference, I know this for sure. From what I've seen and what I'm realizing myself, in life, hopefully you won't have to take this to ridiculous standards, if you tend to be attracted to overall shallow people, I just know that when you haven't "been on the market" in a while, you might not realize if you aren't in the habit of being more than presentable, but feeling so good about yourself that you get #1), Confidence.

If I'm going out with my homies and I don't even know where the night is going to take us, I always shower before, and shave, make sure my fingernails are clean, try to display no signs of substance abuse if you're a drug user/addict like many of us here, be this trackmarks, or smelling like cannabis or cigarettes . I find dressing in comfortable, clean, clothes that are appropriate for any scenario, a certain amount of sobreity depending on the environment you're in/around, if you're trying to find a girl you definitely should try to not be too fucked up on anything if you really want to connect with someone new who doesn't know you. Just saying, first impressions go a long way and I don't think that I'm alone in believing this is true in life.

5) Being and making others feel comfortable / Be Chill and HAPPY- For lack of a better way to put this, don't sweat the little things, if a girl says no to you, then the chances the next one might not increase drastically because you usually learn something based on every failure, and can adapt accordingly. As they say, you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. Conversationalist or not, when you meet the right person, it will just happen, naturally, it will be like auto-pilot. Sometimes displaving no expectations but keeping to yourself that you're interested in the woman you're talking to, not in a rude way but in a you know you're going to be okay no matter what because you have stuff and qualities to offer another woman if she doesn't decide to take a chance with you, and that it would be their loss, seems to work for some reason. I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this, Im not saying I really condone it or believe it's the "right thing to do" but again I don't know what kind of relationship you're seeking.

That's all I can say for now, but practice holding a conversation with someone. Oh and I have GOLDEN advice:

Avoid text messaging like HIV and end-stage Cancer. It and social networking is devastating to the now seemingly ancient art of going out to meet people and hanging out with friends, meeting new friends even if they're not people you have sex with.

Maybe your friends don't have any hookups for you, but that does not apply to the friends you inevitably will meet when you regularly put yourself out there and go out with the friends you have now. I have no advice re: online dating, don't really have experience with that. but hey I'm a paranoid mother fucker... I wish you the best in your endeavors.
 
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As I read your posts, I thought to myself, ugh, his attitude SUCKS. There is nothing less attractive than poor self confidence.

As much as it is a cliche, the saying, "think you can, think you can't either way you are right" is really true. As long as you think girls wouldn't want someone like you, you will be right.

Also, focusing on looks alone is really shallow. I am a woman and I would be flattered if someone unattractive showed interest in me, as long as it was in a non creepy way. Hell, if they turned out to have a kick ass personality I might even give it a shot.

I think you really need to work on your self esteem. Some girls might be into looks alone, but there are many of us out there who would rather have a deeper connection, you just have to keep looking.

Tricomb also gave some really good advice, as well,
 
tricomb said:
All I can say right now, is that you're not alone. I'm sorry I don't have any better advice right now, when I am not in such a negative mindset I'll revisit this thread, but I'm just going to say this really quick a few tips or just general things that this world has shown me to be the difference between something beautiful and a failure. I don't know what kind of "Partner" you're looking for, I can't tell if you're looking to have a strictly intimate / sex only relationship, vs a serious long term relationship, but these things are kind of universal, at least I think so:

1) Confidence. Women can sense insecurity and it sends them running. I've seen even false confidence get plenty of friends laid and once they master that, they start to have meaningful relationships.

2) Security, be it financially, emotionally be there for her, physically have her back in any situation, protection and the ability to have no fear in the presence of evil being able to handle any situation that life throws at either of you.

3) Stability - Kind of ties into security, but I guess what I mean here is for particularly when you are outside of your comfort zone, like talking to a really pretty woman can be. Not showing signs of weakness even if you have some at first, being able to step out of your comfort zone to begin with and put yourself out there, the friends you DO have, even if you don't have a very large social network, go out with your friends, as much as you can, attend social events like parties if you don't usually go to parties, or I hate to promote alcohol but to the bar if that's what your friends do, it all depends, I don't know what y'all in Florida do to socialize, never been to FL. But you said meeting girls through friends won't work, I just think you possibly haven't tried to put yourself out there and really give it your all, just assuming... It's easy to give up on something if you think it's impossible, but there are a lot more possible things that I once thought were impossible happen to me, opportunities and trouble...

4) Preparedness and Hygiene- Obviously, but every little thing makes a difference, I know this for sure. From what I've seen and what I'm realizing myself, in life, hopefully you won't have to take this to ridiculous standards, if you tend to be attracted to overall shallow people, I just know that when you haven't "been on the market" in a while, you might not realize if you aren't in the habit of being more than presentable, but feeling so good about yourself that you get #1), Confidence.

If I'm going out with my homies and I don't even know where the night is going to take us, I always shower before, and shave, make sure my fingernails are clean, try to display no signs of substance abuse if you're a drug user/addict like many of us here, be this trackmarks, or smelling like cannabis or cigarettes . I find dressing in comfortable, clean, clothes that are appropriate for any scenario, a certain amount of sobreity depending on the environment you're in/around, if you're trying to find a girl you definitely should try to not be too fucked up on anything if you really want to connect with someone new who doesn't know you. Just saying, first impressions go a long way and I don't think that I'm alone in believing this is true in life.

5) Being and making others feel comfortable / Be Chill and HAPPY- For lack of a better way to put this, don't sweat the little things, if a girl says no to you, then the chances the next one might not increase drastically because you usually learn something based on every failure, and can adapt accordingly. As they say, you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. Conversationalist or not, when you meet the right person, it will just happen, naturally, it will be like auto-pilot. Sometimes displaving no expectations but keeping to yourself that you're interested in the woman you're talking to, not in a rude way but in a you know you're going to be okay no matter what because you have stuff and qualities to offer another woman if she doesn't decide to take a chance with you, and that it would be their loss, seems to work for some reason. I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this, Im not saying I really condone it or believe it's the "right thing to do" but again I don't know what kind of relationship you're seeking.

That's all I can say for now, but practice holding a conversation with someone. Oh and I have GOLDEN advice:

Avoid text messaging like HIV and end-stage Cancer. It and social networking is devastating to the now seemingly ancient art of going out to meet people and hanging out with friends, meeting new friends even if they're not people you have sex with.

Maybe your friends don't have any hookups for you, but that does not apply to the friends you inevitably will meet when you regularly put yourself out there and go out with the friends you have now. I have no advice re: online dating, don't really have experience with that. but hey I'm a paranoid mother fucker... I wish you the best in your endeavors.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your detailed reply, tricomb. You are right, I don't have much confidence. But how can I be confident when I haven't had much relationship experience? People say "fake to you make it"; I've tried to fake confidence by being bold in conversation and giving appropriate eye contact and body language... has not worked to date. When you are constantly getting rejected by the opposite sex it is very hard to maintain a confident outlook. I'm not looking for a model-looking GF. Just a cute girl with whom I share things in common and feel relaxed around.

Being a student, I don't have much financial stability. But other students are in the same boat so I don't see how that's a barrier.

I'm also very-well groomed. I take pride in my appearance and do the best with what I have.

I try to create a happy, positive vibe when around girls but they don't reciprocate. As I've said, I've had sex with 6 different girls but haven't had sex in 2 years now. I just feel down at times because most people my age have developed long-term relationships, and it seems to come naturally to them, while I struggle.

I RARELY text message. Generally, the girls I have on my cell phone are just on there as study buddies. No real relationship -- they seem only to want to copy my notes and so forth.
 
Beachcat said:
As I read your posts, I thought to myself, ugh, his attitude SUCKS. There is nothing less attractive than poor self confidence.

As much as it is a cliche, the saying, "think you can, think you can't either way you are right" is really true. As long as you think girls wouldn't want someone like you, you will be right.

Also, focusing on looks alone is really shallow. I am a woman and I would be flattered if someone unattractive showed interest in me, as long as it was in a non creepy way. Hell, if they turned out to have a kick ass personality I might even give it a shot.

I think you really need to work on your self esteem. Some girls might be into looks alone, but there are many of us out there who would rather have a deeper connection, you just have to keep looking.

Tricomb also gave some really good advice, as well,
Click to expand...
How do I gain confidence when all I face is rejection? If I had at least SOME success I would be confident. But for the past two years I've had NO success. I've tried "fake it to you make it" but it doesn't seem to work. Also, I'm not just going for really "good-looking girls" -- a cute girlfriend who is down to earth would be fine by me! However, not even these girls give me a chance.

Are you serious when you said you would feel flattered when some UNATTRACTIVE guy shows interest in you?! I tend to avoid eye contact with good-looking females because I feel that that may feel disgust that someone like me is lusting for them.

I often walk by girls on campus and they'll have their heads turned the other way purely so they don't have to look at me. Not the best feeling in the world. You feel worthless.
 
Your attitude sucks.

Have you ever hung out with the pothead/hippy crowd? Trust me, the guys are often not so attractive in what would be considered the conventional senses, and they get laid and often have girlfriends.

You're really making a mistake with the assumption that fucking everyone is superficial. I am an extremely attractive guy, and gay, and I don't date superficial, self-obsessed men, and trust me, if you think fighting against the tide in heterosex culture is hard, try being an ugly homo.

Go hang out with the philosophy and art crowd, my dude, and stop wasting your time on superficial bitches who clearly aren't worth the time of day.

If I was in Florida I'd pimp you out myself!
 
tricomb said:
All I can say right now, is that you're not alone. I'm sorry I don't have any better advice right now, when I am not in such a negative mindset I'll revisit this thread, but I'm just going to say this really quick a few tips or just general things that this world has shown me to be the difference between something beautiful and a failure. I don't know what kind of "Partner" you're looking for, I can't tell if you're looking to have a strictly intimate / sex only relationship, vs a serious long term relationship, but these things are kind of universal, at least I think so:

1) Confidence. Women can sense insecurity and it sends them running. I've seen even false confidence get plenty of friends laid and once they master that, they start to have meaningful relationships.

2) Security, be it financially, emotionally be there for her, physically have her back in any situation, protection and the ability to have no fear in the presence of evil being able to handle any situation that life throws at either of you.

3) Stability - Kind of ties into security, but I guess what I mean here is for particularly when you are outside of your comfort zone, like talking to a really pretty woman can be. Not showing signs of weakness even if you have some at first, being able to step out of your comfort zone to begin with and put yourself out there, the friends you DO have, even if you don't have a very large social network, go out with your friends, as much as you can, attend social events like parties if you don't usually go to parties, or I hate to promote alcohol but to the bar if that's what your friends do, it all depends, I don't know what y'all in Florida do to socialize, never been to FL. But you said meeting girls through friends won't work, I just think you possibly haven't tried to put yourself out there and really give it your all, just assuming... It's easy to give up on something if you think it's impossible, but there are a lot more possible things that I once thought were impossible happen to me, opportunities and trouble...

4) Preparedness and Hygiene- Obviously, but every little thing makes a difference, I know this for sure. From what I've seen and what I'm realizing myself, in life, hopefully you won't have to take this to ridiculous standards, if you tend to be attracted to overall shallow people, I just know that when you haven't "been on the market" in a while, you might not realize if you aren't in the habit of being more than presentable, but feeling so good about yourself that you get #1), Confidence.

If I'm going out with my homies and I don't even know where the night is going to take us, I always shower before, and shave, make sure my fingernails are clean, try to display no signs of substance abuse if you're a drug user/addict like many of us here, be this trackmarks, or smelling like cannabis or cigarettes . I find dressing in comfortable, clean, clothes that are appropriate for any scenario, a certain amount of sobreity depending on the environment you're in/around, if you're trying to find a girl you definitely should try to not be too fucked up on anything if you really want to connect with someone new who doesn't know you. Just saying, first impressions go a long way and I don't think that I'm alone in believing this is true in life.

5) Being and making others feel comfortable / Be Chill and HAPPY- For lack of a better way to put this, don't sweat the little things, if a girl says no to you, then the chances the next one might not increase drastically because you usually learn something based on every failure, and can adapt accordingly. As they say, you lose 100% of the shots you don't take. Conversationalist or not, when you meet the right person, it will just happen, naturally, it will be like auto-pilot. Sometimes displaving no expectations but keeping to yourself that you're interested in the woman you're talking to, not in a rude way but in a you know you're going to be okay no matter what because you have stuff and qualities to offer another woman if she doesn't decide to take a chance with you, and that it would be their loss, seems to work for some reason. I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this, Im not saying I really condone it or believe it's the "right thing to do" but again I don't know what kind of relationship you're seeking.

That's all I can say for now, but practice holding a conversation with someone. Oh and I have GOLDEN advice:

Avoid text messaging like HIV and end-stage Cancer. It and social networking is devastating to the now seemingly ancient art of going out to meet people and hanging out with friends, meeting new friends even if they're not people you have sex with.

Maybe your friends don't have any hookups for you, but that does not apply to the friends you inevitably will meet when you regularly put yourself out there and go out with the friends you have now. I have no advice re: online dating, don't really have experience with that. but hey I'm a paranoid mother fucker... I wish you the best in your endeavors.
Click to expand...

This. Almost every guy becomes confident through doing this. If you don't feign it in the first place, you'll never take the leap and realize how easy it is afterward.

Hi op,
I'm a pretty attractive guy, and I still get shot down alot. I don't have a problem with confidence, but you have to operate on the 1 out of 10 rule. Ask 10 times, and get shot down 9, but the 10th says yes.

You also have to accept that girls hold the power in the dating game, and operate on the pretense of what does and what does not make them a slut. Which is fucking stupid. I went out on a date with one of those 1 out of 10 girls last night, and we had a lot of fun. Come 12:30, I said that we should probably go to which she replied "yeah, but is it really time to go?" I asked "What do you mean?" and she actually said "Well...I'm supposed to leave you wanting" I wanted to get up, and walk out on her right then. I absolutely hate/deplore/detest that game. When we walked outside, I wanted to kiss her, but she said no and would not let me. On the way home, I get a text message saying "You should have kissed me :)" I would say, "seriously, wtf?" but this is the same behavior that I've experienced with almost every girl that I've been with. You just got to learn to deal with that shit and what you need to take away from it is :to be persistent and forward about what you want

You say that you are a normal looking guy and that they wouldn't want you over a guy with a six pack? That's pretty much true. So Change that. Most colleges offer a gym that is relative cheap if not free. Get your diet and workout right, and your confidence will sore as your body blossoms. I guarantee this. Dude, I walk around with 16.5" arms, and I catch girls AND guys staring at my body while I'm talking to them. When I go to work on a new location, some of the guys that work there have said things like "It looks like this one just got out of the Marines" or "Do you fight in mma?" It's going to help your game amazingly if you draw that type of attention to yourself. Trust me, I know, I used to be smaller lol

If you find it hard to find confidence. Well, if it's truely a priority. Do a shot or two of liqour before you go out. Instant anxiety relief, confidence booster.

Remember, when approaching a girl. the worst that can happen is rejection. You're not afraid of jumping inside of a machine that kills 10's of thousands of people are year, so are you going to be afraid of a FEELING? You said that you're a good guy, so if you get shot down, fuck em, right? They're obviously missing out on something great. Everything is about you, homey. Make it that way. And good luck :)
 
Lot of good advice here OP but I would like to add a few more; most of which applies to dating but also to the rest of life.
1- Stop caring what other people think; especially shallow ass random people on campus.
2- The more attractive a woman is the more intimidating to every one she is and by default and the less she is hit on my non douche-bag guys who's egos are the size of a house. My advice there is talk to them, don't hit on them, a conversation goes further then bs lines and frankly an intelligent conversation makes you look better.
3- Animal is right hit a gym, if all it does is get you healthier you still win, if it gets you laid by begin in shape then bonus.
4- learn to dance women equate dancing directly to sex and not a lot of guys can dance well be the guy who can.
5- Confidence; as a few people have said its key just have some in your self if you don't no one will. Again worst thing that can happen is a chick shoots you down, this is where math is your friend sheer statistics speaking if you ask enough women out you will get a yes.

All this begin equal mate you also have to remember that you are looking at the situation from the grass is greener mentality, remember every guy deals with this. Have a little confidence in yourself and a positive attitude and it will come back to you. Cheers mate.
 
Morphling said:
Your attitude sucks.

Have you ever hung out with the pothead/hippy crowd? Trust me, the guys are often not so attractive in what would be considered the conventional senses, and they get laid and often have girlfriends.

You're really making a mistake with the assumption that fucking everyone is superficial. I am an extremely attractive guy, and gay, and I don't date superficial, self-obsessed men, and trust me, if you think fighting against the tide in heterosex culture is hard, try being an ugly homo.

Go hang out with the philosophy and art crowd, my dude, and stop wasting your time on superficial bitches who clearly aren't worth the time of day.

If I was in Florida I'd pimp you out myself!
Click to expand...

No! Not arts and philosophy crowd. Go hang with the STEM people. Generally way less superficial about aesthetic stuff, willing to engage anyone who is capable of holding an intelligent and educated discussion, and tend to find the ability to do so far more attractive than any physical attribute or fashion type stuff.

Also, check out the mad drugs+EDM+after-hours+alty scene. It's pretty dope, everyone is friendly for the most part, and again, have a different take on what "attractive" means....it's usually not the norm, in either physical body stuff, or socio-cultural stuff like fashion/class/etc related to fitting in with the pleabs....trust me, if you wanna meet really fucking cool *and* very sexy girls, grab yourself a bag K, a few caps of G, a roll or two, go to some sort of afterhours dance/music place, get high and start meeting people...boys and girls...expand your social network (That's actually the key, it just happens to be *really really* easy in this setting, which is why I recommend it) and you'll soon enough find someone that makes you feel weak, and confused yet very euphoric even when you're not wanged on some combo of letter drugs. :P
 
you have tried fake it til you make it 'be bold in conversation' 'appropriate eye contact' and had it not work? lol man it isnt like heres the cheat code for pussy like in a video game, its more like work on gradually adjusting your mannerisms and behaviour in that regard until it comes natural, resulting in you feeling better in general as well as gradually noticing a shift in how other people treat you, all of this noticed very gradually over time

average looking dude with an 'ill look this girl in the eye if i want to' attitude beats some six-pack toting dude who walks around thinking 'wouldnt want to inconvenience her by looking at her'
 
Thank you all for your replies. It seems to be a confidence thing. I'll try this "fake it till you make it" thing. By the way, Sweet Jones, what do you mean by being "bold" in conversation?

And Morphling, thanks for saying you'd pimp me out lol
 
I'm not going to lie though, man. As you get older, people are more familiar with these false personas, and it becomes more difficult to be convincing.
For sure, go and try, but if it feels too false for you ...you could try this..

My word means a lot to me. I try to never violate my word. To me, violating my word to myself is worse than doing it to somebody else, because it just means that as soon as nobody is watching, I'll be dishonorable. Doing the right thing when nobody is looking is basicly moral integrity.

If I need to do something that I may make me feel anxious, I will simply swear to myself that it will be done and give myself a mandate.
For me, this is mostly applied to getting chores done/saving money. Occasionally, I will promise myself that I will go upto and talk to a really pretty girl regardless of the possibility of rejection. And even as a tall, really fit, really attractive confident guy....I still have no desire to deal with rejection. It's like...the opposite of a good drug. A sudden rush of terribleness. But the good news, that like any drug, you can and will adapt to this.

So if you're a man of solid character and moral integrity, this is what I suggest to you:

Swear to yourself that you will go upto and talk to 10 girls this week that you think are cute.



If you would rather deal with carrying your dishonor, than be rejected 10 times, then you're probably not the type of person I'd want to talk to.
 
Michael_25 said:
Thank you all for your replies. It seems to be a confidence thing. I'll try this "fake it till you make it" thing. By the way, Sweet Jones, what do you mean by being "bold" in conversation?

And Morphling, thanks for saying you'd pimp me out lol
Click to expand...

Without being an aggressive asshole, don't let people talk over you, be assertive about inserting yourself into the conversation, say what you want to say (not in an insensitive, 'I don't give a fuck' way, just don't have your main focus be on 'am I boring this person is this person, is this person going to get mad at me, etc'), don't be afraid to lead the conversation, etc. Cute girls are just as regularly annoying, vapid, rude or generally bad conversationalists, as any other type of person is. So if a conversation doesn't go well it may very well be her fault and don't shy away from thinking that haha
 
I forgot to mention that the majority of everything, every factor, depends on how you convey your message and desires with your EYES and body language, I bet almost anything that the problem here is your body language, you might be a great conversationalist who just doesn't know how to project it enough to create a certain environment in which the target audience feels welcome and intrigued, wanting to know more, don't just put yourself out there, I'm telling you the mystery is all in the eyes.
 
tricomb said:
I forgot to mention that the majority of everything, every factor, depends on how you convey your message and desires with your EYES and body language,
Click to expand...

And how do you do that without looking all seedy? Staring, winking, that deepset look never quite worked for me. Also body language - is that the knee touching thing, or walking with the chest out with a spring in the step?
 
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