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Finding a guy for a threesome

My boyfriend and I are kinda in the same position, we're looking for a guy who is at least bicurious and open about it all. We haven't had much luck but we are just thinking about guys we know. Finding someone online ... I dunno ... it could work but I don't think it's my kind of thing ... who knows.
 
Llama, my only experience of using the internet to find someone is on dedicated swinging sites, and IME lots of straight guys will say they're bi if it means getting to a hot girl, and they might even play a little in a half-hearted way, but it won't really be their thing, and they're not gonna want to give the guy equal attention by any stretch. No pun intended, but it will be lip service at best! ;) OTOH lots of bi guys will say their straight on their profiles on swinging sites so as not to rule themselves out of a chance with some of the less open-minded types you find on sites ostensibly devoted to allegedly open-minded pursuits, and only reveal themselves when approached directly with an offer. It can take a lot of sorting the wheat from the chaff, and sure ain't a surefire way to find someone. We've only ever really had success from them going down the social route and seeing what clicks at get togethers.

Poppy, I think you're UK based aren't you? Have you thought about just rolling down to your local swinging club? There's bound to be somewhere worth a visit within driving distance at least, and any club worth its salt will have a bi night. Well worth a trip at any time if you've never been to one. A real eye opener! First time I went to one I was open mouthed in astonishment - never seen the like. :lol: I can recommend a few in the midlands and north west.

Other than that I'd definitely go the gay club route. Shouldn't be too hard to find a guy genuinely interested in the both of you. If not, hey, least you've had a night out somewhere likely to be playing decent music.
 
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Bi clubs would be the best, but not all men would be comfortbable exposing themselves as bisexual in that way. I think most would like to keep it secret. Online is risky, but if you're lucky/choose well it can be ok.
 
I tried a few friends... Didn't go well. 1st said hell no. Okay, i understand. Next guy hit on me and teased me for a week, mentioning his 8 inches, and then gets all sensitive and emotional, saying he just wanted me to love him. It got awkward between us, and he's acting like a kicked puppy. I'll talk to my boyfriend about the onlin route, were just worried about STDs, stalkers, and all that. Were looking for a somewhat feminie, small guy. Well, small as in skinny and petite. As far as inches... The bigger the better :D and he's gotta be young (under 25)
 
I tried a few friends... Didn't go well. 1st said hell no. Okay, i understand. Next guy hit on me and teased me for a week, mentioning his 8 inches, and then gets all sensitive and emotional, saying he just wanted me to love him. It got awkward between us, and he's acting like a kicked puppy. I'll talk to my boyfriend about the onlin route, were just worried about STDs, stalkers, and all that. Were looking for a somewhat feminie, small guy. Well, small as in skinny and petite. As far as inches... The bigger the better :D and he's gotta be young (under 25)
Wow, you asked your friends.

I still think hiring someone might be a good idea for the first time.
 
I tried a few friends... Didn't go well. 1st said hell no. Okay, i understand. Next guy hit on me and teased me for a week, mentioning his 8 inches, and then gets all sensitive and emotional, saying he just wanted me to love him. It got awkward between us, and he's acting like a kicked puppy. I'll talk to my boyfriend about the onlin route, were just worried about STDs, stalkers, and all that. Were looking for a somewhat feminie, small guy. Well, small as in skinny and petite. As far as inches... The bigger the better :D and he's gotta be young (under 25)

Yep... that's why I don't fuck (some of) my male friends, and defo never ever my bf's male friends, even though we're in an open relationship. Just gets too messy. He's not allowed to do my friends, either - mainly because none of them are into the swinging scene so it's likely to get emotional. Sometimes boundaries are helpful. I honestly had good experiences on Craigslists, plenty of fit young hung bi horny obedient men out there. You just need to describe exactly what you're after, then be selective with photos and don't send yours until they send theirs, meet candidates for a drink together first to check the vibes - that's common practice - and use protection. Have fun! you'd be surprised what response you might get...
 
haha well maybe asking what could well be straight guys to essentially perform a sex act on another guy is like flipping an off switch... just a though

exactly, you need to find a guy who is BI, my friend use to go to gay bars, theres BI guys there, or try online.
 
I would avoid hitting on friends for the MMF bi 3some, you're exposing yourself and your partner to friends which can change the dynamics of that friendship.

As for picking up a bi male the hiring route is one way, it's anonymous, he's a professional at what he does, you pay him the deal is complete and he won't stalk you.

Sepher mentioned the swinging scene which is another good way of finding someone. You could try the dating sites, adultfriendfinder, adultmatchmaker and redhotpie are quite good. The sites do take some time to sort the wheat from the chaff but you will soon get the hang of it. You could go down the path of finding an experienced couple whereby at least the male plays alone, once again he'll be experienced, if he's in a solid relationship he wont stalk, this time it wont cost you anything and you may find you could have a regular male 'friend' when you both have the urge. My partner and I do this on a regular basis - it's damn good fun.

Good luck, involving others in your sex life does amazing things for your own relationship.
 
Thanks for all the advice :D he's not cool with the online thing, unfortunately. I put myself out there, sexually, and am open to advances. If a guy makes a move, I tell him about my boyfriend, and then he can accept/decline. There has been some gossip among some social circles.. Aw, hell, a lot of gossip, but it'll blow over. I hope. Anyway, We're going to try some bars, usually that crowd is more receptive than every-day people. A late night offer for a threesome at a bar is a little different than a random offer in the day at a coffee shop.
 
Go to a Rave lots of the dudes are bi or bi-curious; you will have options at these parties to choose from...If they do not have one of those around, try a gay/bi bar or club that is around your area...
you love raves..hehehehe..i think your advice should always be "go to a rave"
 
you love raves..hehehehe..i think your advice should always be "go to a rave"

Hell yeah I love raves, I have never found a place that the vibe is so positive & loving and the music so damn good other than a rave party....

What about you, Raves started in the UK, how is the scene doing in the UK? I know it is alive and well or at least i hope so
 
Hell yeah I love raves, I have never found a place that the vibe is so positive & loving and the music so damn good other than a rave party....

What about you, Raves started in the UK, how is the scene doing in the UK? I know it is alive and well or at least i hope so
not my thing but RAVE ON! do you wear rave pants?
 
I tried a few friends... Didn't go well. 1st said hell no. Okay, i understand. Next guy hit on me and teased me for a week, mentioning his 8 inches, and then gets all sensitive and emotional, saying he just wanted me to love him. It got awkward between us, and he's acting like a kicked puppy.
are you at all surprised?
I'll talk to my boyfriend about the onlin route, were just worried about STDs, stalkers, and all that. Were looking for a somewhat feminie, small guy. Well, small as in skinny and petite. As far as inches... The bigger the better :D and he's gotta be young (under 25)
sounds like craigslist is perfect for you. you can mitigate the issues you raise easily: insisting on condoms; meeting a couple of times before you engage in sex; etc.

good luck and keep an open mind - i've seen this kind of thing destroy relationships when one or both of the parties, who though they could handle the emotional fall-out, couldn't handle the emotional fall-out.

alasdair
 
are you at all surprised?

I think she should be very surprised! If you tell a guy that he can have no-string-attached sex, how many guys wouldn't jump at the chance, and be able to separate emotions from sex? I'd say at least 90%. Even higher for young guys.
 
Here's a thought He should just have his lower run cage removed and suck himself off. That's just straight up gross
 
I think she should be very surprised! If you tell a guy that he can have no-string-attached sex, how many guys wouldn't jump at the chance, and be able to separate emotions from sex? I'd say at least 90%. Even higher for young guys.
read what she wrote: "I tried a few friends... Didn't go well. 1st said hell no. Okay, i understand. Next guy hit on me and teased me for a week, mentioning his 8 inches, and then gets all sensitive and emotional, saying he just wanted me to love him.". none of her friends jumped at the chance. i'm not sure what you're reading...

alasdair
 
^ I get your point that asking friends is not the perfect approach, but I still think the sad, love-lorn puppy response is bizarre. It's like she happened to uncover that this guy had a major crush on her, or that he is very lonely. That's what I thought was surprising.

As far as the hell no response, I don't find that surprising. I should have been more clear.
 
I'm Just surprised at how un-true the stereotype that guys are all looking to get laid is. And everyone I've asked has jumped at the chance for sex with me... Its my fiancé they're not cool with. Some people flatly refuse to do anything with another guy, which I understand, but two guys have gone along with my requests in the hopes that they will make me fall in love with them, even though I specifically explain that I will never do anything against my fiancees wishes and I love him dearly. They listen to me talking about how much I care about my fiancé, and how I would never hurt him, then they get upset when they realize (two weeks later) that I had no intention of leaving my fiancé or loving them. What surprised me is that even though i make my intentions explicitly clear, they end up acting hurt.
 
I'm Just surprised at how un-true the stereotype that guys are all looking to get laid is.

The fact that guys are pretending at first about going along with your plan should show you that this is indeed true. They want sex so bad that they are scheming ways to get what they want with you while excluding your fiancee. You are approaching them for sex though, so I think this is really to be expected.
 
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