*Thanks Jen, for the inspiration. I've had writer's block for the longest time*
---------------------------------------
Finally
The times between when i think of you these days
Has grown so rare that you're almost nothing in my mind.
It took a long time to get there,
It took forcing myself every day to remember how we got here.
Here, as in - me, becoming me again and
You, being the same asshole but 100 miles away.
Far enough that you're still too close,
But far enough that I can forget what you look like.
But every now and then, like today
Your name surfaces like an open scab
And it either tears me to pieces
Or fills me with bliss
And today its bliss,
But not because I'm happy for you,
But because I got a glimpse of your world falling apart
And it felt like long-awaited revenge.
The kind you don't ever expect to see,
But is as sweet as cotton candy.
It's ironic, that the one person who finally managed
To rip you away from me,
Is the person who got my revenge for me
Without even knowing it.
I wish I could have been there
To watch her break your heart.
I wish I could have seen your face crumble,
And your soul shatter.
I wish I could have felt the very instant
That your life became shit
Because its something you made me feel
over, and over, and over...
It's something i felt day after day
Long after you were gone off living your perfect life with her
And leaving me dreamless here on lost hopes
And a bed full of lies and unnamed tears.
I just want to see you, face and face,
And scream at you
"How does it fucking feel?!"
GOOD FOR YOU.
Step into MY shoes, 4 years ago, for one moment
And feel what its like
To watch the person you love more than anything
Fall in love with someone else
Maybe she's not even in love with the guy you lost her too
Maybe he's just a better fuck
With a nicer car
A better job
And a cuter smile
And with all that he's still more than you
And I'd just love to see you break.
You never gave me closure...
You never gave me answers, or a reason....
You couldn't look me in the eye and tell me the truth
And too many nights I sat up waiting for you
Only to fall asleep next to no one
While some nameless jane was hearing HER name screamed
In a bed that wasn't ours
And this ring meant nothing but promises broken
And painful memories never to be forgotten
So even though it seems cruel to wish all these things for you,
You deserve them, if anyone does
You deserve to know what it feels like
To be stabbed in the heart by the person you trust most
When you pack your things into boxes
And leave a house that held all your memories
And wonder how you'll ever get through tomorrow without her,
Know, for just one second, what it felt like to be me
Every day waiting for you to come back
Wanting to know what i did wrong
And how SHE could be so much better for you
Know what it felt like to give up everything for someone
Only to be left empty, and alone
And with nothing.
I always hoped the day would come,
And that i'd be around for it....
The day that you realized people's hearts cant be treated like toys,
And people's feelings were real... not just words
Maybe it won't even phase you...
Since you're such a big tough guy who cant be hurt
Who always has the last word
And doesn't know what its like to have his heart broken.
But i hope that every day without her
Is a reminder of what
Every day without you was like
Before i met Danny
Before someone treated me right
And was there for me,
Like you never were.
I hope she haunts you for the rest of your days
Because even then it wouldn't be enough
To equal all the hurt you've caused me
Finally,
I can close this chapter of my life.
---------------------------------------
Finally
The times between when i think of you these days
Has grown so rare that you're almost nothing in my mind.
It took a long time to get there,
It took forcing myself every day to remember how we got here.
Here, as in - me, becoming me again and
You, being the same asshole but 100 miles away.
Far enough that you're still too close,
But far enough that I can forget what you look like.
But every now and then, like today
Your name surfaces like an open scab
And it either tears me to pieces
Or fills me with bliss
And today its bliss,
But not because I'm happy for you,
But because I got a glimpse of your world falling apart
And it felt like long-awaited revenge.
The kind you don't ever expect to see,
But is as sweet as cotton candy.
It's ironic, that the one person who finally managed
To rip you away from me,
Is the person who got my revenge for me
Without even knowing it.
I wish I could have been there
To watch her break your heart.
I wish I could have seen your face crumble,
And your soul shatter.
I wish I could have felt the very instant
That your life became shit
Because its something you made me feel
over, and over, and over...
It's something i felt day after day
Long after you were gone off living your perfect life with her
And leaving me dreamless here on lost hopes
And a bed full of lies and unnamed tears.
I just want to see you, face and face,
And scream at you
"How does it fucking feel?!"
GOOD FOR YOU.
Step into MY shoes, 4 years ago, for one moment
And feel what its like
To watch the person you love more than anything
Fall in love with someone else
Maybe she's not even in love with the guy you lost her too
Maybe he's just a better fuck
With a nicer car
A better job
And a cuter smile
And with all that he's still more than you
And I'd just love to see you break.
You never gave me closure...
You never gave me answers, or a reason....
You couldn't look me in the eye and tell me the truth
And too many nights I sat up waiting for you
Only to fall asleep next to no one
While some nameless jane was hearing HER name screamed
In a bed that wasn't ours
And this ring meant nothing but promises broken
And painful memories never to be forgotten
So even though it seems cruel to wish all these things for you,
You deserve them, if anyone does
You deserve to know what it feels like
To be stabbed in the heart by the person you trust most
When you pack your things into boxes
And leave a house that held all your memories
And wonder how you'll ever get through tomorrow without her,
Know, for just one second, what it felt like to be me
Every day waiting for you to come back
Wanting to know what i did wrong
And how SHE could be so much better for you
Know what it felt like to give up everything for someone
Only to be left empty, and alone
And with nothing.
I always hoped the day would come,
And that i'd be around for it....
The day that you realized people's hearts cant be treated like toys,
And people's feelings were real... not just words
Maybe it won't even phase you...
Since you're such a big tough guy who cant be hurt
Who always has the last word
And doesn't know what its like to have his heart broken.
But i hope that every day without her
Is a reminder of what
Every day without you was like
Before i met Danny
Before someone treated me right
And was there for me,
Like you never were.
I hope she haunts you for the rest of your days
Because even then it wouldn't be enough
To equal all the hurt you've caused me
Finally,
I can close this chapter of my life.
