OxycoDrone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2012
- Messages
- 125
Well guys, wow. Just wow.
Started my MMT on Monday, and while my dose isn't perfect yet, it's still amazing. I'm feeling like myself again, and feel free from my addiction for the first time in 3 years. Even when I've been clean for 3 months, I still have to fight the cravings, even without the sickness. But with my methadone, that's completely gone. I tried some OC yesterday, just 'cos it was offered, and I won't be doing it again. It did nothing, and didn't even feel satisfying to use the needle, which is just fantastic.
I'm on ~40mg at the moment, but getting put up to 50mg tomorrow I think .. Also getting booked in to see the psychologist so we can deal with my anxiety and sleeping issues. I'm on seroquel for sleep, but we think that there must be something better. Anxiety levels have dropped so much since I started too, because the stress of scoring and not knowing if I'll be sick or not is gone. Even though the methadone doesn't last the full 24 hours, when I wake up I'm still in a bit of withdrawal, but nothing compared to baseline, and it just doesn't bother me because I know I just have to do a 45 minute walk (or take the bus) and it's fixed. No more worrying about scoring, trying to find cash, begging for credit, scheming to buy and oversell .. Nothing. This is wonderful, I feel like I have my life back!
The good news keeps coming too! I've sorted out a job and I start after the 10th of June. We haven't finalized my hours yet, but it looks like I'll be starting on 3 days a week, 4 hour shifts, just to start with. I've been out of a job for over 4 years now so I don't want to rush into anything but I'll be starting early in the morning so I can get my methdone, go to work, and actually get into a routine which is really something that I need. I've been all over the place the last few years, and so I'm practising living like a normal person. It sounds silly, but it feels really good to be having a schedule and routine. Like I make sure that I get out of bed in the morning, have a shower, then eat breakfast (I don't like breakfast but it's a good habit to get into, especially since I'll need the energy for work) then brush my teeth, put on my clothes and go for a walk into town. I live out of town, so it takes me 45 mins to get in, which is a nice little walk, and I need to get fitter -- I've gained a lot of weight since I got out of jail, and I want to drop 20kg and get down to 70kg by the end of the year.
My job is working in a packing room at a wholesale food distributor. We get 5/10/20kg bags or boxes of goods and it's my job to pack them into 1-2kg bags and then take everything in boxes upstairs to get loaded into the trucks. I'm gonna be taking everything up too, cos I'm working with an older woman and a pregnant girl so I told them that I'd do all of that since I don't want them to hurt themselves. Will probably be on $13.50 an hour, which is pretty much minimum wage, but that doesn't bother me. I'm not doing it for the money really, it's just that I need a job to get used to living like a regular person, and it'll be good to have some more recent job history.
Things with my partner Hayley are really good too -- she's very proud of me for getting my addiction sorted and for getting this job. And I'm hoping that once I start bringing a bit more money in that she can cut down on her hours at work, because she's got a slipped disc in her back which has been acting up recently and I don't want it to get worse by her overdoing it. Plus she's worked so hard to support us over the last 20 months that I really want to give her a break. She's also hopefully changing her hours so that she can work mornings like me, instead of evenings, so we can walk to work together and have the evenings to spend time together and start doing more normal couple stuff. Hehe, she works in the same building as my pharmacist, so I walk her to work some days and pick up my 'done at the same time.
Anyway, sorry for the long read, but I hope that some of my friends on here will enjoy knowing that I'm doing well. Thank you so much to all of you guys, and especially to the ones who made me feel like I could get through all this -- you helped more than you realize. A special thank-you to n30, stardust, herbavore, captain.h and libby -- and all the rest of the regulars, I realized the list is actually quite long so I stopped. I love you guys so much, you are the reason that I got through the long wait for MMT without doing anything stupid. It was so good knowing I had friends who I could be honest with.
Much love,
-Rowan/OCD
Started my MMT on Monday, and while my dose isn't perfect yet, it's still amazing. I'm feeling like myself again, and feel free from my addiction for the first time in 3 years. Even when I've been clean for 3 months, I still have to fight the cravings, even without the sickness. But with my methadone, that's completely gone. I tried some OC yesterday, just 'cos it was offered, and I won't be doing it again. It did nothing, and didn't even feel satisfying to use the needle, which is just fantastic.
I'm on ~40mg at the moment, but getting put up to 50mg tomorrow I think .. Also getting booked in to see the psychologist so we can deal with my anxiety and sleeping issues. I'm on seroquel for sleep, but we think that there must be something better. Anxiety levels have dropped so much since I started too, because the stress of scoring and not knowing if I'll be sick or not is gone. Even though the methadone doesn't last the full 24 hours, when I wake up I'm still in a bit of withdrawal, but nothing compared to baseline, and it just doesn't bother me because I know I just have to do a 45 minute walk (or take the bus) and it's fixed. No more worrying about scoring, trying to find cash, begging for credit, scheming to buy and oversell .. Nothing. This is wonderful, I feel like I have my life back!
The good news keeps coming too! I've sorted out a job and I start after the 10th of June. We haven't finalized my hours yet, but it looks like I'll be starting on 3 days a week, 4 hour shifts, just to start with. I've been out of a job for over 4 years now so I don't want to rush into anything but I'll be starting early in the morning so I can get my methdone, go to work, and actually get into a routine which is really something that I need. I've been all over the place the last few years, and so I'm practising living like a normal person. It sounds silly, but it feels really good to be having a schedule and routine. Like I make sure that I get out of bed in the morning, have a shower, then eat breakfast (I don't like breakfast but it's a good habit to get into, especially since I'll need the energy for work) then brush my teeth, put on my clothes and go for a walk into town. I live out of town, so it takes me 45 mins to get in, which is a nice little walk, and I need to get fitter -- I've gained a lot of weight since I got out of jail, and I want to drop 20kg and get down to 70kg by the end of the year.
My job is working in a packing room at a wholesale food distributor. We get 5/10/20kg bags or boxes of goods and it's my job to pack them into 1-2kg bags and then take everything in boxes upstairs to get loaded into the trucks. I'm gonna be taking everything up too, cos I'm working with an older woman and a pregnant girl so I told them that I'd do all of that since I don't want them to hurt themselves. Will probably be on $13.50 an hour, which is pretty much minimum wage, but that doesn't bother me. I'm not doing it for the money really, it's just that I need a job to get used to living like a regular person, and it'll be good to have some more recent job history.
Things with my partner Hayley are really good too -- she's very proud of me for getting my addiction sorted and for getting this job. And I'm hoping that once I start bringing a bit more money in that she can cut down on her hours at work, because she's got a slipped disc in her back which has been acting up recently and I don't want it to get worse by her overdoing it. Plus she's worked so hard to support us over the last 20 months that I really want to give her a break. She's also hopefully changing her hours so that she can work mornings like me, instead of evenings, so we can walk to work together and have the evenings to spend time together and start doing more normal couple stuff. Hehe, she works in the same building as my pharmacist, so I walk her to work some days and pick up my 'done at the same time.
Anyway, sorry for the long read, but I hope that some of my friends on here will enjoy knowing that I'm doing well. Thank you so much to all of you guys, and especially to the ones who made me feel like I could get through all this -- you helped more than you realize. A special thank-you to n30, stardust, herbavore, captain.h and libby -- and all the rest of the regulars, I realized the list is actually quite long so I stopped. I love you guys so much, you are the reason that I got through the long wait for MMT without doing anything stupid. It was so good knowing I had friends who I could be honest with.
Much love,
-Rowan/OCD
Me is sad now.
