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Finally sober and it feels so good.

w0w0mg

w0w0mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 4, 2015
Messages
848
Location
In Jail, NC
So what has happened the last couple of weeks, you ask?
3 Overdoses later from u-47700 and a lovely trip to a detox.
I will not lie, it was not fun, but man, it feels good waking up NOT sick every morning.
My only issue is that I now have nerve palsy and I'm almost just 25 years old.
I have been taking gabapentin which i know it has withdrawals on its on but it's the only thing they will give me
to stop the pain I suffer. Regardless I am thankful to be alive. My mother found my OD twice so I am pretty much homeless.
I have 2 months to get my shit together and move out of the apartment I'm living. I applied for school and have gotten grants and aids.
I have not given up. I go to meetings, talk what's on my mind and I could NEVER do that using drugs.
I'm just so thankful.
Much love to you all, and if you have an addiction, it gets better when you get clean, I promise.
 
congrats..heard many horrible things about U-47700..i have to recommnd you exercise amigo...it helped me when i was going throug opiate PAWS..a hard 45 minute workout every day will do wonders for energy and mood!
 
I'm feeling pretty good overall!
I go to AA and NA meetings every chance I get. I have gone to over 10 meetings just in the last 2 days.
I have a sponsor, and I'm starting to work steps.
I'm so grateful to be clean and alive.
That u-47700 had such a grip on me, and even the kratom did too.
Kratom has nasty withdrawal. don't let anyone tell you it does not.
IT GETS BETTER THOUGH. Each day, I feel more and more ALIVE.
Call it pink clouding, but I feel awesome. I can take a nap and not worry about being sick when I wake up.
The gabapentin, I take like I'm suppose to, I do not abuse it, I have NO intention too. I want this so bad.
I want my life back, and I just want to thank everyone that has support me in my struggles.

Capt' H. - You're a fantastic individual, you keep me hopeful.
CJ - You have not given up on me, most people have, but you always gave me a chance to call you if I needed to talk.
and to everyone else - THANK YOU.

If you're struggling, and just can't do it by yourself, please, go to a detox. IT HELPS.
I turned a new leaf, I'm a new person, and I am so happy to be alive.
I'm not hopeless anymore because I know if I stay clean, good cleans will happen.

MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL
 
You are doing well keep up the good work. Keep at it, and share your story because it will more than likely help another addict. I have been following your story since you started posting in SL, and you have come a very long way my friend.
 
Thanks so much manboychef.
It was a struggle, no doubt!
I couldn't do it on my own.
I finally had to surrender, and just go to detox.
I overdosed 3 times in less than 4 days, and it was a wake up call.
I know my next OD will be my last, and I will be 6 feet under.
 
Congratulations w0wmg for your perseverance! Keep moving forward! :)
 
I am happy for you. Now you have to figure out what caused the pain you where trying to blot out with drugs. If you don't deal with those feelings you will be miserable until you relapse.
 
Honestly, I know there is deeper reasoning behind my drug use, but for right now, I'm just hitting up AA and NA meetings, and taking it one day at a time.
Over time I know, I will find the reasoning for my usage, I do have a general idea but not an EXACT reason. I think it was just my anxiety.
I wanted to fit in, so I adapted to my surroundings, regardless if they were good or bad. I surround myself with bad people, I do bad things.
Right now, I'm surrounding myself with the people of AA and NA and it's working for me right now.
Much love to you all, I am just happy that I have not used TODAY.
 
very proud of you man welcome to the other side. I agree with both cj and you -- taking it one day at a time is a smart move
 
cj said:
I am happy for you. Now you have to figure out what caused the pain you where trying to blot out with drugs. If you don't deal with those feelings you will be miserable until you relapse.
Click to expand...

This was key in me being able to stop using. I was a chronic relapser and it all stemmed from my own negative feelings that I had never addressed. I always thought that I could just do what my dad did which is work constantly so I didn't have to deal with my family and my feelings.

w0w0mg said:
Honestly, I know there is deeper reasoning behind my drug use, but for right now, I'm just hitting up AA and NA meetings, and taking it one day at a time.
Over time I know, I will find the reasoning for my usage, I do have a general idea but not an EXACT reason. I think it was just my anxiety.
I wanted to fit in, so I adapted to my surroundings, regardless if they were good or bad. I surround myself with bad people, I do bad things.
Right now, I'm surrounding myself with the people of AA and NA and it's working for me right now.
Much love to you all, I am just happy that I have not used TODAY.
Click to expand...

Keep up the good work my friend. It is very important that in early recovery you get a good support network and it seems like you are doing this. A good support network will help you when you have the feeling to use. It also lends a bit of accountability to life. One thing that keeps me sober is knowing that if I use I am letting down myself (mostly) but lots of people that care and have invested feelings into me.

BeatTheSickness said:
very proud of you man welcome to the other side. I agree with both cj and you -- taking it one day at a time is a smart move
Click to expand...

I always liked the saying if you have one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, you are pissing on the present. Thinking about the past makes me miserable and I know I cannot change it, thinking about the future makes me anxious because of all the uncertainty. If I focus on the present I tend to actually follow through with the things that keep me sober.
 
You are doing so well w0w0mg, just don't get so caught up in what you're currently doing or feeling. It is easy to get carried away by the "I got this thing" wave. Tapering, kicking, detoxing, this is the easy part. The real challenges come after the drugs are out of your system.

You have your whole life to live, so take your time accomplishing your goals right now. I didn't understand the significant of this when I was new to recovery, but it is so important. It may seem counter intuitive, but spending more time rather than less, ensures you take your time in accomplishing your goals, meaning you end up spending more time on what you need to do to accomplish your goals.

So take your time when it comes to whatever it takes to accomplish your goals right now, at least for the next six months or so. You have more than enough time, there is no rush. Not that this seems to be your issue, the thread just made me think of this.
 
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