I'm on effexor and abuse meth and without sleep deprivation I feel much more present and aware of things as long as I'm in complete control of my usage and keep it low and compulsion doesn't take the wheel.
But yeah I'm not gonna argue that antidepressants are usually pretty terrible, like for example the correlation between prescribed antidepressants and certain trends i.e. school shootings, suicide attempts, certain acts, etc in relation to it. I think plenty of it is environment, we tend to overlook that the environment and context of drug usage can change the effects and outcome of using them - of which I mention bc I believe it to be very important.
That bein' said, I also have firsthand experience with this disconnection from reality given to us sometimes from the meds, it's pretty distinct. The choices you make can definitely be altered by it and it alone, disregarding the overall effects of the med. But I've also noticed a stronger connection to the world around me and myself as well. It was very wishy washy for awhile, and even to this day I feel as if there's, so to say, a blanket of avoidance to basic human nature necessities from the med and it's a feeling that comes every so often, mostly thanks to my grounding weed habit.
I'm personally stuck on SSRIs until I am ready to face a multi year long (2 years? More?) brutal recovery that I may not survive due to the heavy chance of suicidal tendencies and trust me you don't just go off the meds and go through acute withdrawal then are back to normal unless you're the rare(not super rare? i wouldn't know so don't quote me on it) lucky one with superhuman brain plasticity or whatever.
I mention the last part about a long recovery in hopes it is taken into consideration that there may need to be an abstinence to all or most psychoactive drugs for a period of time after quitting any antidepressants.
It's taken me some training to notice the changes in perception the medications have personally given me and what I've noticed so far is what I hesitantly believe to be only a slice of all the changes.
I'm not sure if this drug hasn't taken much from a single person I know that uses it. It is indeed very saddening and disheartening. I'm very aware of the changes in myself from it thusfar but I don't have much time spent addicted so far whatsoever and I'm already planning rehab.
Similar to what this caring individual said, I want to add that if you have mental illness please don't give any of yourself to this drug and don't keep on making any and all excuses to use, even just using 2 or 3 days a month has effects that bleed into every single day of your life.
Anyway, I'm just passin' along in hopes i can spark a shred of positivity
stay safe guys and get your sleep