well, I've been TRYING/ATTEMPTING to get clean over last 2 months. coming off a 12yr abuse of drugs/opiates with 5 of those years being sober but over the last 3 my addiction has hit a new high, esp. w/ using H daily at 1-2grams a day.
struggling w/ fam/GF since coming out and admitting to my problems and asking for help.. but can understand their frustrations since none of them have been the "addict" i have. i can see the love being there but just wish they fully understood the struggle and understand relapse does NOT MEAN i dont want to quit, cuz i honestly and truly do and have been doing my best over the last 2 months than i have over the last 3-4 years.
been posting on here for the last 3 weeks and find it to be very helpful. glad to get in touch w/ those other addicts/former addicts who can relate/understand fully. of course i have other friends in recovery or using and they relate to but this board has been so helpful.
been semi-sober for last 5-6 days, and thats coming off a week+ of sobriety prior. totally understand this does not seem like alot to those who never used but us users know its hard as can be. esp withdrawing at home w/ no help. bad news is just yesterday i took methadone trying to help w/ day 4 of withdrawal, so maybe i shouldnt even say im sober; although, i only did 60MG rather than 2G day of past; but thats just the addict in my saying it SHOULDNT be looked at as not being sober.
Tuesday i go back to the dr. for either subox or vivitrol; although, i think w. my recent done use i may have X'd out the vivitrol. hoping things go my way and MAYBE, just MAYBE, i can overcome this painful past.
glad i finally got to hit my blog. its something i am going to keep up w/ in my road to recovery just to see how things/post change as time goes on.
much appreciation to the love and support ive gotten from this board.. it truly has helped.
struggling w/ fam/GF since coming out and admitting to my problems and asking for help.. but can understand their frustrations since none of them have been the "addict" i have. i can see the love being there but just wish they fully understood the struggle and understand relapse does NOT MEAN i dont want to quit, cuz i honestly and truly do and have been doing my best over the last 2 months than i have over the last 3-4 years.
been posting on here for the last 3 weeks and find it to be very helpful. glad to get in touch w/ those other addicts/former addicts who can relate/understand fully. of course i have other friends in recovery or using and they relate to but this board has been so helpful.
been semi-sober for last 5-6 days, and thats coming off a week+ of sobriety prior. totally understand this does not seem like alot to those who never used but us users know its hard as can be. esp withdrawing at home w/ no help. bad news is just yesterday i took methadone trying to help w/ day 4 of withdrawal, so maybe i shouldnt even say im sober; although, i only did 60MG rather than 2G day of past; but thats just the addict in my saying it SHOULDNT be looked at as not being sober.
Tuesday i go back to the dr. for either subox or vivitrol; although, i think w. my recent done use i may have X'd out the vivitrol. hoping things go my way and MAYBE, just MAYBE, i can overcome this painful past.
glad i finally got to hit my blog. its something i am going to keep up w/ in my road to recovery just to see how things/post change as time goes on.
much appreciation to the love and support ive gotten from this board.. it truly has helped.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")