Finally got a severe comedown.

[SotPoker1012]

So it's been several months since I took any MDMA, my health has improved drastically, I've cut my kratom dose to about 5 grams per day. I felt good. So I decided to take mdma last weekend. I took it two days in a row, which I've done before and got off with only about a day of bad comedown symptoms before stabilizing quickly over the following days, probably due to me taking low doses of very clean MDMA and having my supplements on point. This time, however, it didn't work. I'm starting to worry I've messed myself up this time.
Friday night, I took about 3 grams of some shrooms and about 200mg over the night in two doses. 150 to start with, 50 later so I wasn't coming down while still tripping.
I took my usual supplements before I went to bed, and woke up feeling great. So in my genius, I decided to take another 150mg!
I took 100mg to start with, and 50mg later in the night. I rolled fine, had a great time. My girlfriend warned me to be careful, but I dismissed it on the grounds that I had done it before and only had one rough day. I took all my usual supplements before bed and in the morning. I felt a little rough when I woke up, but better than expected. I drove my girlfriend to the airport after having some lunch. Everything seemed okay.
I went ahead and took off work just to have another day to recover because I had the sick time to cover it. I noticed when I took my kratom for the day, I didn't get any effect. Usually, after MDMA, my kratom dose the following day is actually potentiated. I felt nothing except the alleviation of the mild withdrawal symptoms.
That night, I became extremely lethargic, depressed, nauseous and weak. I began throwing up every time I ate or drank any water, I vaped some weed to try and get a mood boost, as well as hold down a meal. It sent me into a full on panic attack which is unusual for me as I have a high THC tolerance and tend to handle it well. I also became incredibly bloated, to the point that I induced vomiting just to relieve my stomach. I became deeply depressed in a way I haven't been for years.
I got through the night, added 5htp to my supplements as it had now been over 24 hours since I took the MDMA. I also began to realize that I'm extremely constipated, which is very unusual for me even when I was taking high doses of kratom on a daily basis.

I slept a ton. Over 12 hours. Called in sick to work again. I'm feeling marginally better as I can finally hold down food and water, but overall just extremely sick and depressed. I took a higher dose of kratom tonight in an attempt to force it to work and maybe help with the depression. Nothing. Not even the tingly feeling in my forehead.

I suspect that, in addition to the usual serotonin depletion, I've also depleted my dopamine. Physically I suspect I will recover as that aspect is already showing signs of improvement on day 2, but I've never felt so fucked from MDMA before. Not even when I took a whole gram.

I'm looking into dopamine supplements to see if they'll help. Not even nicotine does anything.

Pray for this humble retard please.

 

[pupnik]

I guess each body has slightly different reserves, and when we use drugs to get extra leverage on some of the pumps and circuits in the body and brain we deplete those reserves at slightly different rates.
What you have discovered is your own limits.
You have found your capacity for high dosages and frequency of use.
Whether you are impressed with your body's ability to use drugs or not, you have hit your personal wall in dose response curves.

Rather than attempting to jack up your reserve curves using supplements, I would take a new tack. completely different, and not commonly observed in these pages where the modus operandum is to titrate up until you find your limit / which usually means we titrate past our sweet spots, which are the kinds of doses that we can enjoy at the frequency we want to enjoy them.

So the alternative is to "titrate down" on all your drugs, but that means you have to go clean for a bit.

Then try a quarter dose of your thc vape and see if you can be sensitive enough to really feel it, to explore the lower dose and to discover what you reallyenjoy about it.
THC can be amazing at lesser amounts, and it also means your money goes farther, and that consumption is less manic.

Same with kratom and with mdma. Lower doses are, in my opinion, delicious enhancements to ordinary life, a big improvement over the ordinary ups and downs, and while you may not be able to write about extreme rollercoaster rides once or twice a year, you can certainly avoid the crashes, and get more out of your reserves without any supplements.

I do not personally use kratom but have discovered ketamine and while I actually do not like finding my limit at high doses of Ketamine, I do find it is very nice at very low doses (eg 15 mg versus 100 mg) which I can feel as enhancements to my human body and mind rather than tight fitting wetsuits that restrict my movement and constrain my senses and make me seem sloppily drunk.

the old adage of "turn on, tune in, and drop out" requires keeping the dosage down low enough so you can still tune in.

and if you are into polydrug, do that with all of them. it is not about the drama of making the biggest splash by jumping into the pool waving your arms and legs, but feeling the drug take hold and do its thing.

 

[SotPoker1012]

I guess each body has slightly different reserves, and when we use drugs to get extra leverage on some of the pumps and circuits in the body and brain we deplete those reserves at slightly different rates.
What you have discovered is your own limits.
You have found your capacity for high dosages and frequency of use.
Whether you are impressed with your body's ability to use drugs or not, you have hit your personal wall in dose response curves.

Rather than attempting to jack up your reserve curves using supplements, I would take a new tack. completely different, and not commonly observed in these pages where the modus operandum is to titrate up until you find your limit / which usually means we titrate past our sweet spots, which are the kinds of doses that we can enjoy at the frequency we want to enjoy them.

So the alternative is to "titrate down" on all your drugs, but that means you have to go clean for a bit.

Then try a quarter dose of your thc vape and see if you can be sensitive enough to really feel it, to explore the lower dose and to discover what you reallyenjoy about it.
THC can be amazing at lesser amounts, and it also means your money goes farther, and that consumption is less manic.

Same with kratom and with mdma. Lower doses are, in my opinion, delicious enhancements to ordinary life, a big improvement over the ordinary ups and downs, and while you may not be able to write about extreme rollercoaster rides once or twice a year, you can certainly avoid the crashes, and get more out of your reserves without any supplements.

I do not personally use kratom but have discovered ketamine and while I actually do not like finding my limit at high doses of Ketamine, I do find it is very nice at very low doses (eg 15 mg versus 100 mg) which I can feel as enhancements to my human body and mind rather than tight fitting wetsuits that restrict my movement and constrain my senses and make me seem sloppily drunk.

the old adage of "turn on, tune in, and drop out" requires keeping the dosage down low enough so you can still tune in.

and if you are into polydrug, do that with all of them. it is not about the drama of making the biggest splash by jumping into the pool waving your arms and legs, but feeling the drug take hold and do its thing.

It's likely that my limits have changed. Good advice overall.

I'd like to say that supplements in this case are more about damage mitigation and recovery. Today is the first day I've felt remotely normal. I've never experienced a multi day comedown like this before, so its been quite a shock. Definitely going to take things easy going forward.

 

[pupnik]

I keep on telling myself that too. hahaha!

 

[SotPoker1012]

I keep on telling myself that too. hahaha!

"I always say that it's the last time
I know it'll never be the last time"
Relevant lyrics

 

[Matt1000]

I can't relate to the MDMA comedown since I don't get one - though abrupt strong weed withdrawal has been similar to what you describe on a couple of occasions - but I will say that the pill form of MDMA always makes me constipated for about 48 hours, never with the crystal, and that bloating and wind are always a feature of the drug which is why I don't do it very often.

 

[SotPoker1012]

I can't relate to the MDMA comedown since I don't get one - though abrupt strong weed withdrawal has been similar to what you describe on a couple of occasions - but I will say that the pill form of MDMA always makes me constipated for about 48 hours, never with the crystal, and that bloating and wind are always a feature of the drug which is why I don't do it very often.

Maybe its the binder or filler in the pill? I can imagine some people may be sensitive to it.
In my case, I suspect the constipation was actually unrelated and just bad timing because I always take crystal MDMA, and (TMI WARNING), it usually gives me loose stools for a day or two after.

To update anyone who reads this thread, it finally broke after about 4 days and I began to progressively feel more normal. If you get a bad comedown, it WILL get better, even if it takes longer than expected. If your comedown lasts longer than usual, take it as a sign to cut back and give it a longer break than usual. If you've been taking it monthly, give it 3-5 months before you think about trying again.

Admittedly I don't follow my own rules all of the time, and I suspect using MDMA more often than one should has heavily contributed to memory problems. I've seen 80 year olds with a more reliable memory than me. My other drug use doesn't help, of course.

I don't consider MDMA addictive but, especially for an autist and addict like me, its hard to treat the drug responsibly. Will I ever quit forever? Fuck no, unless I physically have to, but forever is a long time and I can handle thinking in terms of months.