sadie10278
Bluelighter
today i had a "moment" that i would like to share with y'all. first a little background. i met a lot of you Blers this past weekend at the OL party and i feel quite close to a few of you so i feel comfortable sharing my story. i won't go into too much detail but here goes (with the poem to follow)...
last july i finally worked up the courage to reveal the abuse that had been taken place in my home by my step dad. since then i have battled depression. i was hospitalized in april because i didn't wanna live anymore. if any of you have ever been depressed before you know how frightening and uncontrollable this feeling can be. so i have been under treatment with meds and counseling and was getting a little frustrated that i was still feeling that same. well today that all changed for me. i don't know why today or what made this happen, but i had a "moment" where i realized i do wanna live and i have so much to live for. and ok i know this poem is a litte rough i just jotted it down after i woke up so i haven't had anytime to revise it but here goes:
The First Moment
you know that moment..
the first moment you realize you are awake from sleeping?
keeping my eyes closed
i relish the thought of a brand new day
i enjoy my first stretch
you know the one that sometimes makes you groan...
if i listen really close
i can hear the sun blazing up over the horizon
with my eyes still closed i can feel the warmth
of the sun on my face
and the coolness of the sheets on my toes
i enjoy this only moment of complete relaxation
before the craziness of the day begins
in an instant the moment is over...
my small clock radio begins to blast
cheesey eighties pop...
i hit the snooze button again and linger in that moment
thinking...
i am so glad to be alive.
-------
i want to thank each one of you for just being there when i need you or just saying hi or just being you.
i know life can get tough sometimes and i have turned to people on this board when i have needed someone. thanks bluelighters. you all are wonderful. and i love each one of you even if i don't know you. i hope to meet more of you soon
luv and hugs,
sadie
------------------
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs." --Lily Tomlin
"I'd like to quit thinking of the present as some minor insignificant preamble to something else." -- Dazed and Confused
[email protected]
AIM: sadie10278
last july i finally worked up the courage to reveal the abuse that had been taken place in my home by my step dad. since then i have battled depression. i was hospitalized in april because i didn't wanna live anymore. if any of you have ever been depressed before you know how frightening and uncontrollable this feeling can be. so i have been under treatment with meds and counseling and was getting a little frustrated that i was still feeling that same. well today that all changed for me. i don't know why today or what made this happen, but i had a "moment" where i realized i do wanna live and i have so much to live for. and ok i know this poem is a litte rough i just jotted it down after i woke up so i haven't had anytime to revise it but here goes:
The First Moment
you know that moment..
the first moment you realize you are awake from sleeping?
keeping my eyes closed
i relish the thought of a brand new day
i enjoy my first stretch
you know the one that sometimes makes you groan...
if i listen really close
i can hear the sun blazing up over the horizon
with my eyes still closed i can feel the warmth
of the sun on my face
and the coolness of the sheets on my toes
i enjoy this only moment of complete relaxation
before the craziness of the day begins
in an instant the moment is over...
my small clock radio begins to blast
cheesey eighties pop...
i hit the snooze button again and linger in that moment
thinking...
i am so glad to be alive.
-------
i want to thank each one of you for just being there when i need you or just saying hi or just being you.
luv and hugs,
sadie
------------------
"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs." --Lily Tomlin
"I'd like to quit thinking of the present as some minor insignificant preamble to something else." -- Dazed and Confused
[email protected]
AIM: sadie10278
