Long story short, I've been on suboxone for about 3 weeks in my attempt to quit oxy and norcos. I have a monthly rx of 150 norcos 10/325s and I just filled it yesterday. When I filled it I had no plans of taking any, my plans are to trade some of it for more subs and sell the rest to start paying down my credit card debt that I racked up while buying oxys on the street (I found a dealer who was ok with gift cards so even when I didn't have the cash in hand I always had a way of scoring). But I won't be able to meet up with my dealer until tomorrow and the guy who I get subs from until Sunday so I've got this bottle of norcos sitting in my apartment and this is SO much harder than I thought it would be. That may sound stupid, and maybe it is, but I'm new to this and I was thinking that it wouldn't be such a big trigger because I've been doing great on 4mg/day of suboxone and my cravings were pretty much gone. But now that I've got opiates just sitting here I'm starting to think about stopping the subs and just taking some norco later. Thankfully I work later today and won't be home until around 9pm...
I guess I'm just surprised at how strong the urges still are when here I was feeling pretty much zero urges a couple days ago and right now I know that if I didn't have the sub in my system from yesterday that I definitely would have taken some norco by now. I guess one thing this experience tells me is that I'm not ready to taper off the subs, which was what I had planned on doing... I guess I'm not strong enough to do this right now... and I'm hoping I can make it through the day until I go to work later because I know if I make it until then that I won't take any once I get home (I never used at night, for some reason my last dose of oxy or norco was always before 6pm).
Well anyway that's where I'm at with things..... thanks for listening
I guess I'm just surprised at how strong the urges still are when here I was feeling pretty much zero urges a couple days ago and right now I know that if I didn't have the sub in my system from yesterday that I definitely would have taken some norco by now. I guess one thing this experience tells me is that I'm not ready to taper off the subs, which was what I had planned on doing... I guess I'm not strong enough to do this right now... and I'm hoping I can make it through the day until I go to work later because I know if I make it until then that I won't take any once I get home (I never used at night, for some reason my last dose of oxy or norco was always before 6pm).
Well anyway that's where I'm at with things..... thanks for listening