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Figured I'd introduce myself

Fay_The_628

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
1
Hello all,
My name is Faythe, I am 30 years old. I live on the east coast of the United States. I happened upon this site many times recently while researching stuff about addiction due to a recent relapse.

A little history about myself I have been a drug addict I would say since I first tried pot in 6th grade. I smoked daily for many years as well as dabbling in many other substances along the way. It wasn't until I was 25 that I finally met the love of my life aka the devil himself aka heroin.

I started messing with prescription pain killers about a year prior and quickly spiraled out of control until one day I found myself in my bathroom alone with a needle full of heroin and some website up on my laptop trying to teach myself how to shoot up. Needless to say it didn't work out too well but I quickly caught on.

I spent the next 6 months completely ruining my life until eventually I found myself sitting in the county jail being sentenced to 5 years in prison. This was in 2010. April of 2013 I came home and stayed clean for over a year and a half. I managed to gather up 4.5 years of clean time before I started to slowly slip backwards.

First I picked up drinking. Then smoked some pot here and there, until I decided to let a friend come stay with me. Who just so happened to be selling heroin. Dumbest decision of my life. I thought I was strong enough. I swore I'd never go back. I made it about a month of them staying with me with out touching anything. But the more I saw the better it looked until one day I caved in and sniffed a bag. And that was all I needed to be off to the races. The next day I acquired a needle and have not stopped since.

That was back In December. It's been a pretty long run considering I never lasted more than 4 weeks with out being institutionalized on my last run.

About a month ago I decided to try methadone. I started at the normal 30mgs and went up 10mgs a day until I reached 100. I stayed at 100 for about two weeks and decided I hated methadone. I had no motivation, I was tired all the time. And I still kept using everyday.

Last week I told the doc I wanted off the methadone. So Monday I took my normal 100 mgs. Tuesday I took 95mgs and Wednesday I took 85 and then never went back. So since Thursday I have been using heroin everyday to get thru the withdrawals from the methadone but now I am out of dope.

I acquired a few Subutex from a friend of mine and plan to start them as soon as I am able to. My last shot was about noon today and I already feel like shit. My eyes and nose are running and my body is killing me. I can't stop yawning but I know it has not been nearly long enough to take the subs.

I'm not really asking for advice so much as just giving yall some background on myself and how I ended up here. I know I can do this as I have done it before. I just have to put my mind to it.

If anyone has anything to offer that I may not have covered feel free to let me know. Or if anyone wants to just say what's up I'm all for it. Thanks for letting me join and reading my novel. ☺
 
A really well written introduction. One thing that HAD to work for me whether I liked or not was methadone. The reason I kept using it for so many years was due to my thinking that I was sober and had a normal life.
I could travel, stay totally off drugs when I realized I was 100% dependent on having enough methadone for everything I'd do.
So, 51 days ago, after decreasing my dosages for more than 3 months, I quitted. Life has been hell ever since but I'm free.
I don't think I produce endorphin and feel tired and depressed most of the time. Suddenly life became extremely limited.
I hope you find your way out. You did it once and I wish you all the luck. :)
Erik
 
Fay,
That's a serious story; wow! Glad you decided to post.
Lots of great stuff and great people on BL... I'm not sure exactly what you're aiming for at this point, but there are some threads on the Sober Living section of BL where people (including me) are trying to help each other with opiate WD. Feel free to post, PM me... whatever. In any case, good luck!
-Sim
 
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