Thankyou so very much for such a good answer, I have a fever and my teeth have absesses under them I was on patches some years ago and went off them, then when I came home from 30 years travelling the world I lived in Australia.. I have a terrible lot of issues with my stomach, and my back, neck, shoulders, spine are a mess, so 7 years ago I came back from my travels to New Zealand where I was born and I had been away working hard, very hard, at one time in England I had 3 jobs, I came home from my travels, travelling on my own(I'm a woman) and I was here 1 year, and entered an extremey violent relationship, where he isolated me from family and friends, moving me out of my flat, beating me so bad, I had to leave my job and he loved the fact I was flat on my back, where his mother and him got their family GP to come twice a day, knocking me sideways with pethidine shots, my then boyfriend loved cleaning my vomit and bowels, as he wrecked my back so bad, as he did martial arts, and he did them on me, I became a victim again, my 2nd DV relationship, but this so severe, locked in that relationship, as I lost all the independence I had when I travelled around the world, I thought I loved him and so scared to leave him because after beating me so severely one night(his brother called police it was so bad) police don't take kindly to that here in New Zealand at all, but fearing 4 my life, too scared to stay and to scared to leave, I was his captive, the police arrived I lied saying no he didn't touch me, no, we were living with his mum too, the police got to the end of his driveway, and into me again, his mother I never forget saying ***, I cant believe you the police have not even got into the bottom of the drive I was told to sleep in his mums bed with him, she slept just outside the room on the couch, my whole being wounded and out loud I said no, I'm leaving, he planted his Moithai, knee right in my face knocking me out cold..

I ended up going to Australia

with him, it got worse, so much worse, I was dependent on him now financially and away from my family, I told no one, I took it all on board, then one night he knocked me out, then strangled me until I went unconscious and raped me, I knew when I came to, u just know..

I had two black eyes, and then a few weeks later he headbutted me, splitting my head open, blood everywhere, and his father and fathers de facto we were staying with, he hit his father as he tried finishing me off, his de facto took e upstairs put me in a bath to clean me up, the blood bath part is so true, and with no licence se took me to hospital she couldn't drive but did, got me to hospital I will never forget the nurse saying to me "Oh come on stop your crying itus just 8 stitches, honestly" but she had no idea, that's why I always treat everyone with kindness, as u never no what battle they are fighting so long story short his family hid me, he found me, more black eyes, he isolated me more, I had no car, no way but to stay in the house he went to work, I was an empty sell, we always moved, I was not allowed to talk to anyone, no neighbours nothing, one last move, was te last, I mustered all my strength, I broke his rule, talked to neighbors, men, two if them, one night he was into me again, these Guys came over, he got held up against the wall it was his time to get beaten then he beat me for the last time for these 2 men organised me a place to go, but I had to get there as I was packing to leave he turned up I said I was getting rid of things, but he didn't believe me, I mustered all I had left, I didn't have much, but long story short again, we lived in a two story place stairs inside, and he pinned me to the wall saying "You cant leave me, u need me, yr worthless Ur this and that.. My mind made up, I left my other clothes and all I had, I threw what I packed into my rucksack and jumped hoping it would not kill me so now or never, after I jumped I twisted my ankle and couldn't get up, I tried and tried, and heard him saying "this time Ur dead" I got up on adrenaline and mde it safely ova the road, stared there, with the guys who organized a place in Sydney I was in Queensland, u got up at 4am put my rucksack on my back and off I went, never looking back, I had men harrass me on the road but made it safely 2 days later, u no I missed him, was down scared and more, I pushed through and I made it, I got through it, I thought I will never allow this to happen again and I didn't until recently, I met this guy at the hospital he told me he was a junkie, something I'm not into, I dont even drink alcohol anymore, and I believe in giving one a chance and this man I married just 1 year 15 months ago, he was so good to me, I wasn't allowed to do anything, I shared all about my life and thought how odd as he didn't talk about him much, he said he was quiet, he did everything 4 me, I did not lift a finger, I am very sick, I lost 20 kilo in this time, I didn't know what was wrong with me, hospital trips all the time the pain in my stomach so bad but drs thought I was a druggie, I was put back on the patches, he had it, saying it's not fair, as I was getting high, but I wasn't and he would do things I thought I was honestly going crazy, u c when we met, I was so confident not taking any s***, what I didn't know then and do now was this was called Phycological abuse on January 18th my dog I brought home died, he poisoned him, I know in my heart, but cant prove it, as I was very sick and greiving several months ago, he hit me, something he promised he never would do, shocked I walked away silently, said NO, this is not happening, reached into his car grabbed his hair, abd attempted to pull him out of his car, he deliberately put his foot on the gas and rear ended my car, my car I got because I'm adopted and was a baby taken from her mother 58 years ago, as she beat me, I have no memory of that, she's passed but I was able to forgive her I got some money when I came home he govt failed me and paid $15.000 and that's y my car is so special to me, and he new it, well I told him I needed space as cant look at him, it's several months later, I keep chasing him, only tonight that's it, I don't care anymore, he's filing 4 a divorce, his 2nd time, he said only yesterday today we can talk, after he said only a week ago he doesn't love me anymore to tell me we will talk today we haven't no more abuse as I'm looking to move out of my rented home he moved in with me with nothing but the clothes on his back... It's definitely over, sorry for all this, so long it is, I'm a writer, not published as yet, but thankyou for your answers, I'm taking it, I'm putting the rest of my patch on very soon at bed time no more putting myself through any more physical pain I'm going thru enough.. I miss my dog and time to find elsewhere to move as here I was in hospital last week, sent home with a 38.1 Celsius temp with a absessess under my teeth, the hospital dentist rung a few days ago, no help so wearing this patch, sick of pain, so sorry about a chapter here, but I thankyou, and all others..
God bless you all