jurbs95
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2022
- Messages
- 28
I know I made a thread a month ago but I need to make a new one as things have changed:
I'm detoxing off of fentanyl, I'm here in Southern Cali, I get it straight from the brick from over the border, still in chunks. I used for over a year, around a half a gram to a gram a day off foil.
Now I've been trying to get clean since December 27th. During the month of January I tried 3 or 4 attempts to get clean, I went to outpatient clinic here and got prescribed gabapentin, clonidine and suboxone/subutex. The first time I tried to get clean I went straight from my habit to taking the pills. I was using more than prescribed but I was able to go 5 days with little symptoms due to the pills. I was running low on the pills, took a little amount of suboxone and was PWD so bad had to relapse. The next few attempts went the same but with me chipping in between using less fetty bu eventually back to half a gram before trying to get clean again. Every time I tried to get clean in January, I would get a few days and then would try to take a piece of suboxone or subutex, I'm talking less than 1mg amounts and I would get PWD. Relapse.
Fast forward to now Febuary. Starting on the 6th I started detox. Gabapentin at high doses and clonidine help almost all withdrawal symptoms. I'm taking upwards of 3000+mg gabapentin and close to 10mg clonidine a day. I have made it to today without using any fent. But within the 6 days I havent used, I've had 3 small seizures that lasted about a minute. My girlfriend was there to catch my twice, as I was standing. But once she wasn't there and I fell and woke up not knowing where I was. I am really worried about why the seizures are happening. Is it the high doses of pills or just my detox in general? And please I'm scared to death of becoming addicted to gabapentin. I've read the horror stories. Am i at high risk of gaba addiction?
Finally; the reason I am posting besides above, it is now around 6 1/2 days of detox. My girl got a week of leave to watch me but now she has to go to work. I haven't slept all night, probably because I stupidly decided to do a bump of meth last night. Stupidest idea ever. But I was worried about her going to work so I decided hey, let me try a bit of subutex. If I can maybe get the subutex to work I won't have to take so many pills (which I'm running low of. The gaba script is out but I am obtaining them elsewhere, clonidine about out though have to call Dr to hopefully refill script, although shitty insurance might make me wait a few days as I just picked up 60 pills on the 8th of Feb I believe. I went through them all) anyways I decided to take a tiny bit of subutex at 2am P.T. just about 6 1/2 days after my last dose of fent. I didn't notice too much. Maybe some slight uneasiness. At close to 4am PT I decided to take maybe another .25mg of subutex. Now I feel slight withdrawal. I'm on alot of pills. I'm worried PWD will get worse. I want to take more sub I want to get through this. I was having panic attacks recently this past month trying to quit that had me contemplating suicide. Which is usually not me.
Please help. I know this is too long; I'm just desperate. Im having seizures and my girl is 2 months pregnant. She is about to call out to work and maybe lose her job just because I'm so messed up and they don't help people out here for shit for detox.
I'm detoxing off of fentanyl, I'm here in Southern Cali, I get it straight from the brick from over the border, still in chunks. I used for over a year, around a half a gram to a gram a day off foil.
Now I've been trying to get clean since December 27th. During the month of January I tried 3 or 4 attempts to get clean, I went to outpatient clinic here and got prescribed gabapentin, clonidine and suboxone/subutex. The first time I tried to get clean I went straight from my habit to taking the pills. I was using more than prescribed but I was able to go 5 days with little symptoms due to the pills. I was running low on the pills, took a little amount of suboxone and was PWD so bad had to relapse. The next few attempts went the same but with me chipping in between using less fetty bu eventually back to half a gram before trying to get clean again. Every time I tried to get clean in January, I would get a few days and then would try to take a piece of suboxone or subutex, I'm talking less than 1mg amounts and I would get PWD. Relapse.
Fast forward to now Febuary. Starting on the 6th I started detox. Gabapentin at high doses and clonidine help almost all withdrawal symptoms. I'm taking upwards of 3000+mg gabapentin and close to 10mg clonidine a day. I have made it to today without using any fent. But within the 6 days I havent used, I've had 3 small seizures that lasted about a minute. My girlfriend was there to catch my twice, as I was standing. But once she wasn't there and I fell and woke up not knowing where I was. I am really worried about why the seizures are happening. Is it the high doses of pills or just my detox in general? And please I'm scared to death of becoming addicted to gabapentin. I've read the horror stories. Am i at high risk of gaba addiction?
Finally; the reason I am posting besides above, it is now around 6 1/2 days of detox. My girl got a week of leave to watch me but now she has to go to work. I haven't slept all night, probably because I stupidly decided to do a bump of meth last night. Stupidest idea ever. But I was worried about her going to work so I decided hey, let me try a bit of subutex. If I can maybe get the subutex to work I won't have to take so many pills (which I'm running low of. The gaba script is out but I am obtaining them elsewhere, clonidine about out though have to call Dr to hopefully refill script, although shitty insurance might make me wait a few days as I just picked up 60 pills on the 8th of Feb I believe. I went through them all) anyways I decided to take a tiny bit of subutex at 2am P.T. just about 6 1/2 days after my last dose of fent. I didn't notice too much. Maybe some slight uneasiness. At close to 4am PT I decided to take maybe another .25mg of subutex. Now I feel slight withdrawal. I'm on alot of pills. I'm worried PWD will get worse. I want to take more sub I want to get through this. I was having panic attacks recently this past month trying to quit that had me contemplating suicide. Which is usually not me.
Please help. I know this is too long; I'm just desperate. Im having seizures and my girl is 2 months pregnant. She is about to call out to work and maybe lose her job just because I'm so messed up and they don't help people out here for shit for detox.