In hopes of keeping my sanity while waiting to see what would happen with Ariadne, I started participating in social activities in Paris. Mostly they are things I would never do in my right mind - going to parties, shows, parcs, dances, opera, picnics, wine tastings, museums, etc with groups of people. Remember that before coming to Paris, I had spent a year in a cabin alone and mostly off the grid. During that time, I never felt lonely. Overall, I hated/dreaded being around people so much that sometimes I went out of my way to avoid people, and I usually told visitors to please go away. All I had to do was think of the awful American girlfriends, including the last one Alyssa, I had in case I ever started to feel lonely. (In hindsight, the only relationships that didn't end badly were with foreign, English not the first language, girlfriends while in the US. maybe there is a pattern here.)
To my surprise, by the end of my first week in Paris I felt horribly lonely. No gf, no friends - I usually dont care about those things - People suck and i try to avoid them.
Learning French has opened a whole new world for me. While doing these social things in Paris, I have met lots of women. I don’t even have to pursue them, they approach me, get my attention, and initiate the conversation. They don't seem to be bothered by my bad french. I'm obviously a foreigner, but they seem to think I'm Scottish until I correct them.
It is the opposite of situation with the American Woman. On her home turf, the American Woman seems to take more pleasure in rejecting any man who approaches her at a bar or any social venue than she gets from being in the acutal company of a man. It doesn’t matter how high or low quality he is compared to her - his looks, intentions, level of education, employment, fitness do not matter. (Here, however, American women don't seem to act like that. ) I've never "hit on" an American woman, but I've seen them in action and read and heard about it enough.
Now I began seeing several women at once while I was waiting for Ariadne to make up her mind. This was completely unexpected. In the US, American Women despise me. The would look at me and wrinkle their faces like they just stepped in dog shit. Keep in mind that I have never in my life asked out an American Woman. I have always avoided eye contact with them, I have never "checked them out," leered, objectified them, or shown them the slightest interest. Basically, I have been completely indifferent to them. At the same time, American Women (complete strangers I never saw before and had no interest in) have accosted me in the US and told me they had boy friends or husbands. It's like they wanted me to hit on them so they could reject me. I wasn't hitting on them or even glancing or making eye contact and was never going to, so they, complete strangers, would approach me and tell me I couldn't have them. Pre-mature rejection or something.
None of my new secret girlfriends speaks English, none know about any of the others, and they are all low maintenance. None has my keys, and not using social media helps. Although I did not encourage them and would lie and say I have a gf in the US and tell them Im not looking for a girlfriend, two of them, Malala and Enid have become very attached to me. That's bad. Other than that, they aren't serious.
Now that things are working out so far with Ariadne, I need to extricate myself from those other relationships without hurting anybody’s feelings. Most people have learned to deal with this by the time the finish high school or college, but I've never been in this situation before. Now I have let things go to far and I feel like I'm in over my head. On top of that, I'm addicted to morphine, and i think the morphine might have impaired my judgement and contributed to my getting into this.
To my surprise, by the end of my first week in Paris I felt horribly lonely. No gf, no friends - I usually dont care about those things - People suck and i try to avoid them.
Learning French has opened a whole new world for me. While doing these social things in Paris, I have met lots of women. I don’t even have to pursue them, they approach me, get my attention, and initiate the conversation. They don't seem to be bothered by my bad french. I'm obviously a foreigner, but they seem to think I'm Scottish until I correct them.
It is the opposite of situation with the American Woman. On her home turf, the American Woman seems to take more pleasure in rejecting any man who approaches her at a bar or any social venue than she gets from being in the acutal company of a man. It doesn’t matter how high or low quality he is compared to her - his looks, intentions, level of education, employment, fitness do not matter. (Here, however, American women don't seem to act like that. ) I've never "hit on" an American woman, but I've seen them in action and read and heard about it enough.
Now I began seeing several women at once while I was waiting for Ariadne to make up her mind. This was completely unexpected. In the US, American Women despise me. The would look at me and wrinkle their faces like they just stepped in dog shit. Keep in mind that I have never in my life asked out an American Woman. I have always avoided eye contact with them, I have never "checked them out," leered, objectified them, or shown them the slightest interest. Basically, I have been completely indifferent to them. At the same time, American Women (complete strangers I never saw before and had no interest in) have accosted me in the US and told me they had boy friends or husbands. It's like they wanted me to hit on them so they could reject me. I wasn't hitting on them or even glancing or making eye contact and was never going to, so they, complete strangers, would approach me and tell me I couldn't have them. Pre-mature rejection or something.
None of my new secret girlfriends speaks English, none know about any of the others, and they are all low maintenance. None has my keys, and not using social media helps. Although I did not encourage them and would lie and say I have a gf in the US and tell them Im not looking for a girlfriend, two of them, Malala and Enid have become very attached to me. That's bad. Other than that, they aren't serious.
Now that things are working out so far with Ariadne, I need to extricate myself from those other relationships without hurting anybody’s feelings. Most people have learned to deal with this by the time the finish high school or college, but I've never been in this situation before. Now I have let things go to far and I feel like I'm in over my head. On top of that, I'm addicted to morphine, and i think the morphine might have impaired my judgement and contributed to my getting into this.
