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Feelings...

Shady's Fox

Shady's Fox

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
22,895
Location
Palm trees & sea, just walkin along the beach.
I really do not know how should I start but i'm ashamed of me..Let's get an idea idk but it will sound weird/crazy sorry guys..

I'm a Eve user since my childhood practically(I started when i saw my mom doing it, in the kitchen along with valium and other pills, i ran from home because my parents couldn't get along very well, they beat me every day shoved in wardrobe etc, i got hospitalized by dad and beat again at home for no reason...I do not know where they're now but I hope they're dead rot in pieces
Now..I think about this sometimes and I really feel weird..Do you ever had the feeling that she lies your feelings? a point of view where you could start the ideea is that i think that so called ”happiness” its fake...maybe its just me and my crazy mind:\
 
If you mean that the feelings on MDMA are fake, well no I do not think that it's fake. Happiness and love are real emotions, and I think it's a beautiful thing that MDMA so readily expresses them, especially in a world that is often so seemingly devoid of them.
 
hey tranced!

That's why i love her, she can make me feel that someone loves me that someone is sitting next to me. But don't be sad this is the way people are, i mean..i never personally had part of love:( but i learned something that i will tell you too: Don't let your thoughts destroy you, destroy them instead.
I think partially that those feelings are fake from one reason tho, sometimes she tells me this if you catch my point weird as me i know..
 
How much mdma do you use and how frequently Shady?
I agree with tranced the feelings are real, and what's more important the reassurance that you are ok inside is real too.
You can only hold on to that by letting yourself belief it. There is a place in you where you know everything is ok.
You don't have to go there every week to know it. Just now and then. But it is and you are ok.
Just trust what you know when you are there.
That's all you can take away from the experience
 
nice to see someone it's here with me, hey augusta! uhm 125(with a booster 55/60mg)-250mg. It depends on my mood mostly and where am i.
i use them once a week/month.
i really love your appreciation/motivation like a lot and not to mention that i always trusted what i got back from the experience. Do you really think i'm ok..? i mean i lie myself everyday just as other persons do but yup, you're right.
Uff..i do not trust myself a lot you know but sometimes when i come back from the trip i get depressed and all possible dark things go through my head, suicidal thoughts sometimes
One thing i got to tell you because i really wanted to say that, is that i love both of you guys i mean thank you for being nice to meeee❤!
I rarely talk to someone tho..and i barely visit ”me”
 
Do less so you'll have an afterglow instead of a suicidal hangover.
 
Hi shady again.
Maybe you should give yourself more time to recover and as Inds said 250 mg is a big dose, especially as I'm pretty sure it's the real thing you are taking.
I have had a couple of really bad come downs in the past, both were the result of using far too much.
These days I'll do 100/120 for first dose and maybe 50 for top up. I usually allow 3 months between rolls.
Keep in touch with yourself it's light and joyful in there.
Big kiss
Gussie
 
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