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Feelings for a married girl/friend

I appreciate that ya'll. And I agree. I want it so badly I almost just don't care. Now that I've not seen her for a bit it's gotten easier to think rationally again but I've not felt so distracted and overcome with emotion in I don't know how long. I can't stop thinking about her. It all equates to a frighteningly powerful feeling to which I feel resigned. I had begun to think that I could never feel this way, and I certainly wouldn't have chosen these circumstances, but it's real and it's profoundly exhilarating.

One of my best friends was in love with a girl and they were together for several years. Another of my best friends fell for her, and she for him. Broke her first partner's heart, absolutely shattered it. But he found a great girl, and the other two just got married and have had their first son. They have an incredible connection and are in love in a way that almost seems impossible. My ex broke my heart, and I call dude a douche, and he is, but they had that connection that as much as it sucked for me, outweighed the one she and I shared. I held it against her for a long time, but I let it go because these things happen.

I'm not going to break up their marriage though. But I'm becoming increasingly resentful thinking about how rare these kind of connections are. Life. And I was thinking so clearly last week...
 
Tell her you want to be with her and that you're available if she's no longer married. Then cut off all contact.

Otherwise you are going to have sex, you will fall even more madly in love with her, and there's a real possibility of heartbreak. If you last it will be tainted by the infidelity. If it's just a short affair, you'll never get to see her again.

If you can't control yourself, I understand. But control gives you much better options and chances for the future.
 
Johnny1 said:
Tell her you want to be with her and that you're available if she's no longer married. Then cut off all contact.

Otherwise you are going to have sex, you will fall even more madly in love with her, and there's a real possibility of heartbreak. If you last it will be tainted by the infidelity. If it's just a short affair, you'll never get to see her again.

If you can't control yourself, I understand. But control gives you much better options and chances for the future.
Click to expand...

From my own experiences I think that if you keep on the same path you will end up having sex with that woman. Its your choice as to how it goes. If you sleep with her now you my be a side-piece. If there is a true connection she will get a separation from her husband.

I some states both you and her could be sued for alienation of affection and she will lose everything in the divorce. So if she runs away with you, Id suggest keeping it on the low or you and her will be left broke and that doesn't have to happen if dude doesn't have proof. Some people are so bendictive that when things end they will get a private investigator to prove infidelity. Last but not lease a jilted lover can kill you and walk due to crime of passion, so if you must ruin this man's life for your own, get yourself a shotgun for your house and one for the trunk of your car, as I would say its 50/50 in terms of whether dude will get violent if he finds out.

Im not saying you should fuck her or not. Ive been there and done that. A very similar situation except I never met her husband. She did get a separation order and she had power of attorney. She drained the accounts and put his money in her name. She really fucked him over TBPH. It didn't work out between me and this gal. I still fuck her and talk to her and this whole thing has been going on for over TEN YEARS. We don't live in the same city but are a county away. Its a strange relationship. It was on and off for four years in terms of commitment and we had a lot of 3-somes with women and that complicated things cuz she was bi. That's my life though and we are discussing yours.

Most importantly, be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. Its a risky gamble. Ask yourself if you really want to take on this as its not gonna go smooth. DO NOT get emotionally invested until she burns her bridges or your setting yourself up to get hurt emotionally.

Good luck with everything OP and please let me know how things work out in the long run. Id ADVISE against posting ever little detail and keep yourself insulated legally as well as to make sure dude don't run up on you with a gat or pay a hitman to do it.
 
people ALWAYS want what they can't have


if you go after her you will be playing with fire...

can you stand to lose this friend if things went wrong???
 
You're obviously a very moral person so congrats. I say, tell her how you feel, how you can't be around her too much because you don't want to do something to jeopardize her marriage. If she really wants to be with you, she needs to separate from her hubby.
 
Thanks again everyone. Had a drink with the two of them yesterday (couldn't be avoided) so I acted like an emmy winner for an hour. They'll be at the big dinner this Friday, my birthday, with all my family and everyone... Seriously, you couldn't write this fucking script... Anyway after that's over I'm going to tell her why I keep such distance and why she won't see me anymore, and that'll be that. My life is stressful enough already. I can do without this shit.
 
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