Feeling weak, could use support

[wanting]

I've been trolling this site for two days and finally registered. I've been taking hydrocodone 10mg, prescribed by doc for 4 years. In the last year, I went from presc dose of 60mg/day to presc dose of 80mg/day...then stupidly took myself to 120mg/day to get the same pain relief. Been doing that for about two months. I decided that I didn't want to go to the "next level" of opioid pain relief, and asked my doc to help me get off them entirely so we can reevaluate where my pain level is without the drug.

I'm on day 4 of withdrawal, and not doing so hot. My doc has been great--gave me clonepine (low dose), clonidine transdermal, and one other thing I can't remember right now. I've been through early withdrawal twice before--once three days, once five days. It's always horrible. I sweat through 4 pjs/night, and my sheets get soaked (no, clonidine isn't helping that)...tough time with nausea...and so little energy I have a tough time walking from one room to the next without having to sit in a chair to rest.

I asked my doc for suboxone, but he can't prescribe it. It will take a month for me to get to a prescribing doc, and my doc is willing to write for smaller amounts of hydro to get me through to the appointment.

Im at a point when I feel like I'm ready to call and give in. I don't want to. I want to start again, like a clean slate. I know everyone says that day 4 is the turning point, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel stuck in the sludge. Any help? Advice? Just words of support?

 

[Addict3dtodillys]

I hear ya... I was in the er three times last week because of dilaudid withdrawl. Zofram helped the most with nausea.
Clonipine made me soooo dizzy and weak feeling.
They decided to slowly taper me down... I have like 10% withdrawl feelings right now...

I would do a taper... but at this point you are close to being done! The first few days are the worst...

Suboxone has it issues as well.... Thank god for the taper... I have to have my pills distributed to me or I feel that I will.abuse them....

<snip>
Try to get zofram. Stay hydrated. I will keep you in my thoughts as well as all.of the amazing supportive people here.

 

[wanting]

Thank you, Addict3dtodilly. I keep hearing about how I'm "almost there," but I'm still surprised I don't wake up dead every morning (if you know what i mean). I know this w/d can't kill me, but it feels like it is trying! Is the "4th day is past the worst" something people in recovery say to those of us still here just so we don't quit, or is it really true? I don't feel any difference from day 2 or 3, to be honest.

 

[flyhighk]

Welcome wanting,

I'm gonna move this to The Dark Side

If you decide you want to go back on narcotics for pain relief, consider fentanyl patches and methadone. Good luck

 

[wanting]

Okay, so today is day 5. The prescribed meds have kept the crawlies and chills away, and have made me more mellow. But my energy is GONE. It feels impossible to carry a cup of tea from the kitchen--arms weak, legs tired, general malaise. I actually slept most of the night last night, and only had to change the sheets once due to sweats, so I guess that's progress. But WHEN does this soul-sapping fatigue leave? I took unpaid time off work for this week, but I'm dreading Monday. I can't even imagine driving right now. I've been reading through so many posts, and many of them are helpful in general. But it is quite frustrating to hear some folks say that they had no more w/d after three days, and others say they had w/d for months. I find that more depressing than helpful, because I'm definitely not one of the "three day" ones. When did you feel that your mind and body was back under your control?

 

[edgewise1]

I know you heard it already, but you are almost there. While hydrocodone is considered to be "weaker" than many of the opiate drugs, it is still a total bitch to withdraw from. 80&120 are large doses to be taking, and if you have the willpower you could have titrated your dose down to an easier jump off spot, but since you have already done 5 days it is a mute point.

Did I read correctly when you said your doctor put you on 80mgs a day, but at some point you increased it to 120mgs? While the daily dose of acetaminophen never reached the limit for a daily dose, it could be a good idea to have your liver checked.

Just hang tight it is almost over. Stay as active as you can even if it is walking, as it will be a tremendous help.

 

[Allein]

Hi wanting

I suspect your a lurker not a troll, but let's not get hung up on modern day internet slang

I'm going to have to face up to much the same thing in the early part of next year, I've been on morphine almost solid for a couple of years but I'm hoping an op in October will improve things, in terms of pain.

Do you feel you really don't need the pain relief ? whilst I don't want to be dependent on drugs, I can't function without them and have to work etc etc .. The relief from pain makes you dependent at the outset IME, I hope you aren't in a great deal of pain.

It sounds like your on the home stretch, light exercise and fresh air is great for improving energy levels, assuming you're physically able to.

Hang in there and be sure to update us on how you're getting on

 

[wanting]

Thanks for the replies. Slightly better this morning, but nowhere near normal. On the plus side, I woke up hungry and was able to eat. (Made a smoothie with lots of fruit and --dont gag-- Ensure, since I haven't eaten in 4 days. Kept it down.

Yes, I typically have pain due to a botched surgery and an autoimmune disorder, but I strongly feel the need to "clear the deck" and start from scratch. I've been in treatment for 4+ years, and lately my doc is just throwing meds at me. It feels wrong. Plus, my personal high-dosing over what the prescription was tells me the meds didn't work for me as well anymore. I figure if I get out from under it then I can see where my body is and come up with a new plan.

And yes, thank you--I was lurking, not trolling. I appreciate the correction.

 

[Addict3dtodillys]

Thanks for the replies. Slightly better this morning, but nowhere near normal. On the plus side, I woke up hungry and was able to eat. (Made a smoothie with lots of fruit and --dont gag-- Ensure, since I haven't eaten in 4 days. Kept it down.

Yes, I typically have pain due to a botched surgery and an autoimmune disorder, but I strongly feel the need to "clear the deck" and start from scratch. I've been in treatment for 4+ years, and lately my doc is just throwing meds at me. It feels wrong. Plus, my personal high-dosing over what the prescription was tells me the meds didn't work for me as well anymore. I figure if I get out from under it then I can see where my body is and come up with a new plan.

And yes, thank you--I was lurking, not trolling. I appreciate the correction.

Great to hear! I'm currently experiencing withdrawls. I'm being tapered off the drug dilaudid... she's a nasty bitch.

I was having major issues with blood pressure when cut cold turkey. I got to day 3 twice and my heart was telling me to go fuck myself. The taper is helping... but
I still feel horrible.

Stay away from the opiates. I sure will

 

[wanting]

Okay--today is Day 8 for me, and I finally woke up feeling human. Not normal, but like I can see normal around the corner. I have an appt with my doc tomorrow when we'll discuss next steps for my treatment. definitely NEVEr opioids again. This was truly hell. But today...this minute at least...I feel happy.