Feeling these lyrics today

All I want is your understanding.
As in the small light of affections,
"why is this my life?" is almost everybody's question

And I've tried, everything but suicide...
But it's crossed my mind.

I prefer peace.
Wouldn't have to have one worldly possession.
But essentially I'm an animal,
So just what do I do, with all the aggression?

Well I've tried, everything but suicide...
But it's crossed my mind.

Life is a one way street ain't it?
If you could paint it, I'd draw myself going in the right direction.
So I go all the way.
Like I really really know, but the truth is, I'm only guessing.

And I've tried, everything but suicide...
Ooh but it's crossed my mind. Just a thought.

It's even dark in the daytime.
It's not just good, it's great depression.
When I was lost I even found myself looking in the gun's direction.

And so I've tried, everything but suicide...
But yes, it's crossed my mind.

But I'm fine.

gnarles barkley- just a thought

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVE75VG90X0

 

great lyrics, true. But I'm glad you are here, cj. Never accept that darkness is all there is. It is there. It can be terrifying. But it is only a piece of what is there. So many soft-hearted people in the world. Sometimes just a touch, a word, a gesture is all it takes to save me from my own darkness. You've helped me many times and may not even realize that.

 

Thanks . I am glad I am here too.

At this point I don't really feel suicidal necessarily. But I do feel kind of hopeless. The pink cloud I was on for the first 8 months of being on methadone has pretty much faded away as my tolerance to the methadone has risen. I just feel like I am in a bit of a rut. I think I am going to change back to an SSRI from the SNRI I started last month. I also may bite the bullet and go back to my job waiting tables instead of continuing to look for a better job I cant seem to land.

But yeah things could be much worse so I guess I should be grateful.

 

drew,

hey man,
we go way back, like to the city that we love.

man, just know, that what ever you deal with,
someone, is dealing with it TIMES 100XXXXXXXXXX

dude, talk about, watching dudes banging 1gram of heroin in a shot, because they are used to 250mg methadone a day,and watch me sell them liquid Bendryl ,do the math drew.
lol






go outside the methadone clinic for drugs, lol i;ll get you 200mg!! !!!


bro,


bro.


why are we here?

is drew supposed to meet with drew? watch me make money? wanna see how fast $600 burns???


drew,
my brother,
hold in, because i can still speak english.
fuck.

pay it foward,
outside the clinic,
give 24 cans, to jimmyhale. please. i've been there, and dude, give them 24 cans of 'chunky' w/e..i'll cash u out,.

drew man, no homo, love u bro.
drew

 

Ill make the can donation next week in your name buddy. You damn right we are supposed to meet up again. Did I ever post the pictures of you getting your nipples pierced on here? They are still in my phone.

You remember that time way back when I wrecked my car on that dark driveway trail thing we decided to shoot dope at. I told my Dad I hit a curb lol.

I want to make more memories like that so stay alive and come back to Birmingham where you have friends who can help you.

Anyway hit me up you know where to find me.

 

I made the can donation yesterday for you bro. Hope you are ok.