Feeling like a dinosaur

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Yesterday night I paid a visit to an old arcade in the bowels of NYC that I remembered from childhood... closed forever just this year, after over 50 years in business. Maybe it was the headful of DXM and weed, but when I read the Sharpie-scrawled eulogies from young gamers on the locked metal gate, I started crying.

So I looked up two little underground clubs that used to play lots of good electronic music... One closed forever, the other planning on coming back, but also closed indefinitely.

So I trawled the net for drum n' bass events in the city. Times were that I could find one any given weekend. Not anymore. In fact, I couldn't find any musical events that I really cared to go to. Certainly nothing that reminded me of any that I would happen upon while prowling the city on my bike in my 20s. I went to a thrift store and found a great new (to me) hoodie and a pair of baggy polyester pants that are great for both biking and dancing. But now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go, and feeling a bit like Disco Stu from the Simpsons, dressed up for a party that ended long ago. *sigh* Nobody makes reference to the Simpsons anymore either, and nobody watches it. So never mind.

I don't enjoy or relate to any of the dance pop on the radio anymore. It seems to be all made for young single people who can drink all night and think about nothing but getting laid. Yeah, dance pop was always about those things. But I didn't notice this or care until I wasn't in the market for those things anymore.

I'm learning that nothing can prepare you for the sudden loss of things that you always looked forward to going back to again, and that you took for granted would always be there. Nothing is forever, the Buddha said. So easily said, so hard to actually live by. I hate nostalgia. I think it's a useless fucking emotion. And I hate that I'm having a hard time bucking up and deciding to look forward rather than backward, which I always used to be able to do when I was younger and felt nostalgic.

I used to live for the new, and vowed I'd never become conservative, past-dwelling, or set in my ways. How do I get this back?

 

[OverDone]

I feel the same way on many days.

I think that this thread would get better answers and generate better discussion in Second Opinion, however.

SO mods feel free to move back if required

TDS -- SO

 

[Busty St Clare]

MDAO, you know as well as I do, Disco Stu doesn't advertise.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

^ Thanks for making me laugh Busty. I needed that.

 

[michael]

i guess it was a couple years ago now i was walking home from work when these two high school girls at a bus stop asked me to roll a joint for them. all i could think was that i probably play horseshoes with their fathers. so yeah, i can relate to feeling like a dinosaur.

 

[Max Power]

Nobody makes reference to the Simpsons anymore either, and nobody watches it. So never mind.

Whoa, easy there. Let's not say something we might regret later.

Something to consider MDAO, there's a possibility had you partaken in the aforementioned activities, you may have found you didn't enjoy them as much as you used to. Being the ex-PS mod that you are, you're prbly familiar with the Heraclitus quote, "You cannot step in the same river twice." Perhaps you may be able to replicate the location of past events, but the feelings, and more importantly the PEOPLE and mindsets of those past memories . . . a bit harder to reproduce.

 

[coelophysis]

and more importantly the PEOPLE and mindsets of those past memories . . . a bit harder to reproduce.

I too was gonna mention that another big factor is people you've been in contact with throughout your life. Either your past experience with current friends or past experiences with people you're no longer in contact with. That's a strong one definitely.



But hey MDAO, I don't think you should look at being nostalgic as useless. I think if it's something you're having nostalgic emotions towards, than it was an important slide in your life told through a slide show. If it's a place that's gone now, or a friend that's passed, or an event that was so perfect and memorable, or something somebody told you once, or that song that brings you back to that time when-...You were part of it, it helped shape who you are and define you. At least you did get to feel something. And if it's something that didn't last forever, I'd be honored that I didn't miss it.


You could definitely find a new scene of something that grabs your interest I bet. Sometimes you just have to sift through tons o' bool sheeit. But that's what makes it rewarding in the end.


I think you should maybe set your ways to be very open..And there's nothing wrong with being a bit conservative about some things..
Sometimes you have to conserve for a while and then liberate at the right time.

 

[Belisarius]

Can only say that I feel your pain, man, although I'll be the first to admit that I've always have a strong nostalgic streak.

I had a similar feeling visiting my old college again, recently. I graduated about seven years ago, and while that doesn't seem very long, the place is almost unrecognizable now. Time was I could find a nook in the library and feel at home (but hey, every library is home to me), yet I felt absolutely no connection to the memories and people there, or even the buildings, many of which were either brand-new, or had been totally rearranged inside. It made me realize that each segment in our lives is like a snapshot, a pose in front of a statue or a building that you look at later and not only see it for the triviality it is, but as a way of freezing a moment you can never reenter.*

And--before I run out of time--I can't believe I ever liked pop music. As is the case with yourself, I know it's just my age talking, but Christ, everything in the Top 40 is a shrill nightmare these days. I do, however, take some cold comfort in the fact that the disconnect you feel will doubtless be shared by everyone today, tailored of course to each one's age group (think of what a 50 year-old would think of us talking like this, for instance, let alone what we'll feel like at that age...or 60...or 70...).

*If you haven't read it, you should check out a rather famous old SF story by Bob Shaw called "The Light of Other Days". I won't spoil the novelty by describing it, but it's a beautiful and sad work.

 

[panic in paradise]

yeah, i wound up "google mapping" the neighborhood and town i grew up in, across the country. after not being there for maybe 5 years at the time, i couldnt remember the names of so many streets that were important to me, or roads in my own(wait a sec) neighborhood...

i was going to continue, and the notion of seven years came to mind, and how so many changes occur after this denomination of time(even our tastes in food?!).
then scrolled up and saw Belisarius mention this little number...

and became distracted - heh.

ive seen you make a few nostalgic comments MDAO... not just recently either, but it seems heavy, or well established in you.


do you think this attribute* could be grown with and utilized in your work maybe?
as in with children or the elderly, for a period of time?
IDK...
maybe its a nagging consummation?


you hate it and it is useless:
we can only hate what is useless, as long we give it a means of negative control -
sometimes our greatest teacher is what seems most imperious to us.

 

[GlassAss420]

I feel what your saying man.. replace your DnB clubs with phish and string cheese and its all the same..

 

[modern buddha]

Mr. Dino,

It has come to my attention that now isn't good enough for you. Unfortunately, I'm not here to tell you sorry or that I feel your pain. Fortunately, I can tell you that you can keep living the way you are. The only problem is no one else really does (in large group events, anyway). Things become a bit more solitary after that whole bout of "OMG, (the new "in" thing at the time) is the best!".

Find some friends that share similar (but not identical) interests and hang with them. Don't expect people to flock to DnB anymore.

Now is all you have and if you like DnB, why are you groaning over the past? You can still enjoy it! You must enjoy it differently after the hype has died down.

 

[Dave]

^ You have a point, but it is a darn shame that such excellent music has all but died out in live venues in many cities. Where I live, we used to have a small but thriving techno sub-scene, but I haven't heard proper techno outside of my home/earbuds in 5 years, easy. The closest that I've been able to find is tech-house/minimal, which isn't bad, but also just isn't the same.

Having said that though, exposing oneself to new music, people and experiences is a great way to stay young. It can be a bit tough at first when you're obviously 5-10 years older than everyone else at an event, but so what? The people that mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind; just don't be a creeper.

Case in point: I went to my first small underground party in about 7 years last weekend, and while the music wasn't what I would normally seek out (thankfully, very little dubstep), it was still danceable. Wound up having a stellar time. Other than me and maybe 4 or 5 other people, the median age was around 22. I'm 30. The fact that I could dance better than 90% of the room surely helped a bit

 

[Kenickie]

MDAO --- I have the same problem, kind of, but the exact opposite. I feel out of place and glaringly naive and young compared to everyone around me. I didn't have a TV until I was 12, and I am constantly missing references to things that 'everyone knows about' or 'everyone saw'. My friends & my partners friends moan and whine about how depressed they are at 30, about how awful the world is, about how terrible everything is, and it depresses me to the point of tears. I haven't even made it into my 20s yet and these people are telling me I have nothing to look forward to. I feel ashamed of my youth sometimes, and sometimes wish I was the same age as my partner, or maybe that I had been raised differently (instead of in a closed, isolated rural setting), because now that I'm in a city, my country roots are ever present and I can't disguise them as easily. I hate that, I hate feeling embarrassed about anything, but it happens all the time and I know there is shit I can do about it.

 

[ControlDenied]

hahaha, i also didnt have a TV till i was 10 or 11, no video games nothing, raised in the middle of nowhere.

so i definitely cant relate to someone being nostalgic about the DnB classics in new york city ...

I'm kind of glad I dont live in a big city, all those trends and changes must get pretty tiring and confusing. like, if you rely on a "scene" for your personal happiness, there's going to be a comedown, so to speak. its best to create your own scene; kind of like creating your own religion. especially since none of the modern scenes appear to me to be any good artistically or spiritually. the only good music in the mainstream is by artists who are like 40 and 50 and 60.

hopefully this will change in the next decade. i have hope for the 21st century.

one thing does make me painfully nostalgic: simpsons, super nintendo and Playstation, even though I wasnt allowed to enjoy any of those until i was a preteen, but its still long enough to get pretty nostalgic especially since in my eyes none of the newer stuff is as interesting or fun

Kenickie, dont listen to 30 something people too much. they are often bitter mofos. they're too old to feel youthful and too young to feel wise. so they just bitch and moan about growing old ,and they're not even that old really. saying that "growing old sucks" is far from wise, but i guess since u start to notice it around age 30, its annoying so one cant help but complain a bit. middle age looks really hard. once ppl get used to age, they seem to mellow out a whole lot. [in other words: i cant wait! So take that, Father time!!!]

 

[Cyc]

I think everyone needs something to look forward to, even if it's just a pipe dream. Even if it's just to realize love someday.

I think about all the things I should have done when I was a bit younger, and I'm working to get those done now. That keeps me in a youthful state of mind.

It's empowering to know that there's still so much left to do and see and realize.

As for music, I haven't seen a decline in quality at all. If anything, as I learn more, the more I discover from both the past and present. If I were to name my top 5 favourite artists, they would almost all be from the past 10 years.

 

[ControlDenied]

Hm... I was referring to just mainstream/radio scene, not music overall. There always will be outstanding artists working in every field, forever. But the "mainstream spotlight" now is focused on a level of Crap that would have shamed the 80s. 80s mainstream is Baroque compared to what you hear in clubs nowaday. OBVIOUSLY this is my personal opinion. But I have damn strong opinions, so I believe it to 100% true :D

Yes, it's very important in life to look forward to things and to work towards them, even by small steps when large steps aren't available at the moment.

"Even if it's just to realize love someday. "

Isn't that pretty much the greatest, most universal goal of humanity?

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

I start "partying" at 5p and in bed by 1030p.
I used to get up at 1030p to go out for midnight-1a.

I am okay with this.

 

[thujone]

I think everyone needs something to look forward to, even if it's just a pipe dream. Even if it's just to realize love someday.

I think about all the things I should have done when I was a bit younger, and I'm working to get those done now. That keeps me in a youthful state of mind.

It's empowering to know that there's still so much left to do and see and realize.

As for music, I haven't seen a decline in quality at all. If anything, as I learn more, the more I discover from both the past and present. If I were to name my top 5 favourite artists, they would almost all be from the past 10 years.

I could have responded in five different ways but I agree so much with what you're saying and feel the same way about the present and the future. With 7 billion people on earth I think timelines don't even matter anymore. Younger people will eventually find appreciation for things that were relevant to us just as we're starting to appreciate art and entertainment that was relevant to our parents as we grow older.

As humans, we spend our whole life accumulating experience and it's natural that the younger we are the more important it is for us to share experiences primarily with our peer group. Ask a room full of 18 year-olds what their favorite bands are and they are sure to have a lot of similar choices, but if you ask a room full of 35 year-olds the same question the responses are sure to be a lot more varied just because they've had 17 years more time on this earth in which to realize that impressing their peer group is not always important and more time to become serious individuals with individual opinions and tastes.

But I digress, the point of that last paragraph was supposed to be that young people have and always will be the demographic group that spends the most money on arts and entertainment so most of what is produced caters to their ears, eyes and wallets. Regardless, there will always be niches. If you truly want to keep living for what's new, don't just pine for the past but use the memories and influences you have up in your head to fill a niche and reinvent the past so that there will be at least one thing in the future that is still relevant to you that you can share with younger people who are just coming into their own and looking for "that something" they can get into and share with other past, present and future niche-dwellers.

 

[MyDoorsAreOpen]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I actually chalk all this up to a bad drug trip, in retrospect. I have a little more perspective now.

 

[Noodle]

I start "partying" at 5p and in bed by 1030p.
I used to get up at 1030p to go out for midnight-1a.

I am okay with this.

Yeah. The recovery time is twice/thrice as long now.



I would also like to find some events with like minded folk that aren't 20 years younger than me. Outside of New York City I do not envision this happening.

Years ago, an older gentleman that was hard of hearing used to frequent the Twilo nightclub on Fridays. He couldn't hear the music as much as feel it. Everyone called him 'Grandpa Twilo.'

You are only as old as you feel, and surprisingly we males often do not feel over the hill until well past 50.

:D

God, I remember thinking 25 was old. I now have concert t-shirts that are 20 years old!