MyDoorsAreOpen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2003
- Messages
- 8,549
Yesterday night I paid a visit to an old arcade in the bowels of NYC that I remembered from childhood... closed forever just this year, after over 50 years in business.
Maybe it was the headful of DXM and weed, but when I read the Sharpie-scrawled eulogies from young gamers on the locked metal gate, I started crying.
So I looked up two little underground clubs that used to play lots of good electronic music... One closed forever, the other planning on coming back, but also closed indefinitely.
So I trawled the net for drum n' bass events in the city. Times were that I could find one any given weekend. Not anymore. In fact, I couldn't find any musical events that I really cared to go to. Certainly nothing that reminded me of any that I would happen upon while prowling the city on my bike in my 20s. I went to a thrift store and found a great new (to me) hoodie and a pair of baggy polyester pants that are great for both biking and dancing. But now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go, and feeling a bit like Disco Stu from the Simpsons, dressed up for a party that ended long ago. *sigh* Nobody makes reference to the Simpsons anymore either, and nobody watches it. So never mind.
I don't enjoy or relate to any of the dance pop on the radio anymore. It seems to be all made for young single people who can drink all night and think about nothing but getting laid. Yeah, dance pop was always about those things. But I didn't notice this or care until I wasn't in the market for those things anymore.
I'm learning that nothing can prepare you for the sudden loss of things that you always looked forward to going back to again, and that you took for granted would always be there. Nothing is forever, the Buddha said. So easily said, so hard to actually live by. I hate nostalgia. I think it's a useless fucking emotion. And I hate that I'm having a hard time bucking up and deciding to look forward rather than backward, which I always used to be able to do when I was younger and felt nostalgic.
I used to live for the new, and vowed I'd never become conservative, past-dwelling, or set in my ways. How do I get this back?

So I looked up two little underground clubs that used to play lots of good electronic music... One closed forever, the other planning on coming back, but also closed indefinitely.

So I trawled the net for drum n' bass events in the city. Times were that I could find one any given weekend. Not anymore. In fact, I couldn't find any musical events that I really cared to go to. Certainly nothing that reminded me of any that I would happen upon while prowling the city on my bike in my 20s. I went to a thrift store and found a great new (to me) hoodie and a pair of baggy polyester pants that are great for both biking and dancing. But now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go, and feeling a bit like Disco Stu from the Simpsons, dressed up for a party that ended long ago. *sigh* Nobody makes reference to the Simpsons anymore either, and nobody watches it. So never mind.
I don't enjoy or relate to any of the dance pop on the radio anymore. It seems to be all made for young single people who can drink all night and think about nothing but getting laid. Yeah, dance pop was always about those things. But I didn't notice this or care until I wasn't in the market for those things anymore.
I'm learning that nothing can prepare you for the sudden loss of things that you always looked forward to going back to again, and that you took for granted would always be there. Nothing is forever, the Buddha said. So easily said, so hard to actually live by. I hate nostalgia. I think it's a useless fucking emotion. And I hate that I'm having a hard time bucking up and deciding to look forward rather than backward, which I always used to be able to do when I was younger and felt nostalgic.
I used to live for the new, and vowed I'd never become conservative, past-dwelling, or set in my ways. How do I get this back?