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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

feeling depressed the seond i wake up in the morning

Well all your post means alot. THANK YOU all!

But there's no hope for me right now, the past couple days I've been drink daily. But some day I'll get better, hopefully
but I just don't know how to deal with the guilt of being a piece of shit liar
 
Don't resign yourself to a mindset of "no hope" man, there's always hope Dr.kush, even when you're drinking every day.

Dr.kush said:
but I just don't know how to deal with the guilt of being a piece of shit liar
Click to expand...

Step 1 is to stop lying. It's hard at first but once you've taken the first leap of honesty, it's much easier after that.
The guilt will gradually fade once you stop accumulating it.
 
You need to start fresh. Get a new life find new hobbies, friends, maybe a new girlfriend... You will feel better eventually. :)
 
dude this is the worst the feeling in the world and i totally sympathize with you. i know when im coming off dope or something i wake up in the morning and i think "oh fuck.. another fuckin day." its unbearable. i remember i would put off going to sleep at night as long as i could until i physically passed out, just because i knew the next morning this feeling was coming. it wasnt even the the physical withdrawals that always drove me back to dope, it was the soul crushing depression i would wake up with every morning.

the only way i ended up getting clean and starting to break the cycle (and believe me, im still not fully there yet - its a bumpy road at best) was the realization that life was going to suck no matter what i did at this point. whether i used and got some temporary relief or i just stuck to the withdrawal, life would still be shitty for me. so i realized the only sane thing i could do was accept the suckiness of my life at this moment and just work on myself and work on getting clean. and it hasnt been easy and ive had my relapses but i find the more i stick to just living my life without getting fucked up all the time the better i feel. and eventually that hopeless dread i use to wake up with everyday faded.

the thing is everytime i use now, even though im no longer physically addicted to heroin, i wake up again with this horrible feeling for the next couple days and its never worth it. just hang in there man, i know how you feel and im pulling for you. you can get out of this, as hopeless as it seems right now. you can turn it around.


by the way, one of the things that really changed things for me was taking lsd.. if you can get clean long enough for your body to balance out you should try taking some lsd, listening to some good music and closing your eyes.. i learned so much about myself this way and its helped me work through a lot of my issues. and if you want a full blown over night life changer, try candy flipping. (lsd + mdma) this little known secret is gods gift to humanity and will change the way you see everything literally over night.
 
Welcome to the site DoLucid, and thank for sharing your insight.

I'm facing legal troubles now and I wake up with this feeling every day now. Luckily I'm not dependent on poppy pods like I was, went 50 days clean and had only two minor relapses and am just dealing with some paws symptoms again. I'll tell you it is a lot easier to get up when you're NOT an opiate addict. It starts to make the days much tougher when you have to come off the shit.
 
Thank you Doloucid, but I just don't know how to get clean. It seems impossible for me to do. I've began drinking everyday now pretty much. And I have to act like I want recovery now. I have to work with a sponsor and lie to his face that I'm clean, I feel like a piece of shit. But I'm jus putting on a show for my mom. So I'm not lying just because I want I'm getting set up to lie. I guess I can justify that.
 
what do you think is stopping you from wanting to be clean? how much are you drinking during the day? also, what would happen if you were just completely honest with your sponsor or your mother? how would they react?
 
Idk what's stoppin me jus wanting to get fucked up I guess. And I don't have a sponsor yet I have to get to show my mom I want to be clean. Even though I don't. And I have been pretty shitty lately and drinkin makes go away. Like I feel better, and when I drink I usualy go and kick it with friends so it jus makes my shit life better for a little bit
 
I don't want to sound to harsh, but if you want your life not to suck you have to make yourself a better tomorrow. :)
 
can you do something to break the monotony of general life for just one day? it doesn't have to be anything grand or awe inspiring, just different to what you usually do but hopefully fun. i find breaking away from my usual life when i feel utterly shit helps me regain perspective somehow, makes me less apathetic about the possibility of just being that way forever. it just shows things can be different.
 
I can definitely relate, I woke up that way this morning after I slept through my chiropractor appt. and part of my work day, luckily my boss was kinda understanding about it. I'm sorry you feel that way, It defiinitely could be the lack of that special thing you used to enjoy. Its like a long lost friend. I hope things start to perk up for you, try to look on the bright side, IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE.
 
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