BenzosBudOrBooty
Bluelighter
I first started smoking weed about a week after I graduated high school. I was an addict before I ever picked up. I never got into opiates Coke or meth...it was weed alcohol and hallucinogens for me. But anyways. I always wanted to escape. I found ways to escape reality before I did drugs, then I found weed and it became an every day thing instantly, an all day everyday thing a couple months later.
Then December of that year 2008 I was arrested for possession. So I got community service and classes and started hanging more with addicts and criminals. I began drinking January of 2009. I woke up the next morning and drank some more. I began drinking daily pretty quickly because it helped with my anxiety.
About a month later I started smoking cigs...and when I started smoking cigs I was willing to do anything. Weed was a gateway to alcohol which was a gateway to cigs which was a gateway to lsd.
I met a girl that next October that eventually gave me a source for acid. I had asked her for shrooms or acid the first time we met and come thanksgiving she got me the acid.
So the first time I did it with a friend and we had a blast...he told me "you should only do this once a year"...I was like screw you and dud it every Friday.
I was selling weed, working 3 jobs to support my drug and alcohol habits at the time when I had a weed deal go bad. I pretty much shorted these kids $50 on an ounce...I was like whatever. They were douches and I moved on with my acid doing weed smoking and drinking.
I got a very potent ten strip of cid and 2 tabs put me in another dimension. My parents were out of town so I planned on the last Friday of January 2010 to do 4 tabs of this amazing acid...still some of the best I ever got.
Well I smoked a ton drank a ton and took 4 tabs, when my trip sitter and trusted friend betrayed me and invited 2 of the kids I had ripped off in that deal into my home. For 8 hours they fucked with my mind threatened me with knives trashed my house and used violence against and around me. And then left.
I knew after this happened I was fucked up. My life was ruined. I came down and my world was upside down. My perception of reality was forever changed,,,,and I was very angry. I felt reborn and like I had to start life over from scratch.
I had flashbacks, full blown flashbacks...hppd, I looked drugged, acted psychotic. But it wasn't enough to put me in a hospital no no...it wasn't until I was prescribed Wellbutrin that I came completely psychotic and out of my mind...to the point I was handcuffed and hospitalized.....for 50 days. Diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder which I think despite how bad my trip was, I was still prone for mental illness....and had previously had underlying disorder.
So I got out of the hospital and first thing I did was smoke weed...I was on antipsychotic meds for 6 months and was kinda fine smoking weed until I went off of it and had another psychotic episode. This time I thought I was the chosen one and drove my car psychoticly and got arrested on many charges....god forbid I didn't get in an accident. Or else I'd still be in prison...
God was watching for me that day.
OK so I went through a series of hospitalizations and rehab and got a great lawyer and eventually got the charges dropped.
Well I stopped my meds and stopped taking drugs and just drank for a year and got hospitalized again. Got out. Had lost all my friends I ever had at this point....found Silk Road. Ordered every drug there is...but really only liked lsd and shrooms.
I did a milligram of lsd in one night...off my meds again drinking and smoking weed....hospitalized in the worst hospital in the state....got prolixin injections for months...stopped my meds again...did more shrooms acid weed drinking mescaline .... Hospitalized one more time when I was prescribed abilify finally which I've been on for 2 years and have not been in a psych ward since January of 2014...
But that wasn't the end not even close. I continued much of the same drug use until May when it got really bad. I took 96 mg of klonopin and 2 Xanax bars and went to the er while I was living in a group home...it wasn't a suicide attempt but really an overdose accidental...I probably would've rode it out if I wasn't living in the group home...anyways I get out after a day and the next week I take 5 grams of shrooms and it wasn't a bad trip but I had a bad reaction and came down with the WORST hppd and anxiety...I couldn't drive....I should mention I thought I was Jesus or the chosen one for 4 years.
So I checked myself into a treatment center...got kicked out for walking off the property On my way to the liquor store. Came back home and lived in a sober house for 8 months which was hell ... I raised my abilify a few times which helped a bunch but still wanted to drink...left the sober house and drank a lot since March.
Smoked more weed...did ayahuasca once, acid 5 more times, shrooms twice
The second shrooms trip made me completely psychotic for a day or 2....
Then December 9th I drank a 6 pack of ipa and took some kpins....said this is the end. Went to aa the next day and a doctors appointment and told my doctor I needed to end my addictions once and for all...so I get prescribed naltrexone 50 mg...long story short I'm 22 days sober and haven't had a single craving in that time.
I really think this is the answer for me. Aa never worked...whatever never worked. I was drinking every day before dec 10th. Now naltrexone 99.999999999% gets rid of all cravings.
It was a hell of a 7 year run of humility and self medication and self discovery but I finally got this.
I may have left out a few things like a dui I forgot about but I think my story said enough.
25 mg abilify and50 mg of naltrexone and I'm good to go. My life has been amazing the last 22 days and I love being sober. My family says I'm changed and life is just great it's amazing. I can't put in words how happy I've been after so many years of struggling...even before I ever smoked weed I had a difficult time but now I'm doing good. Can't reiterate it enough how good it feels to be sober.
Welp that's my story for more or for less
https://youtu.be/vphRKU3rTAs
Then December of that year 2008 I was arrested for possession. So I got community service and classes and started hanging more with addicts and criminals. I began drinking January of 2009. I woke up the next morning and drank some more. I began drinking daily pretty quickly because it helped with my anxiety.
About a month later I started smoking cigs...and when I started smoking cigs I was willing to do anything. Weed was a gateway to alcohol which was a gateway to cigs which was a gateway to lsd.
I met a girl that next October that eventually gave me a source for acid. I had asked her for shrooms or acid the first time we met and come thanksgiving she got me the acid.
So the first time I did it with a friend and we had a blast...he told me "you should only do this once a year"...I was like screw you and dud it every Friday.
I was selling weed, working 3 jobs to support my drug and alcohol habits at the time when I had a weed deal go bad. I pretty much shorted these kids $50 on an ounce...I was like whatever. They were douches and I moved on with my acid doing weed smoking and drinking.
I got a very potent ten strip of cid and 2 tabs put me in another dimension. My parents were out of town so I planned on the last Friday of January 2010 to do 4 tabs of this amazing acid...still some of the best I ever got.
Well I smoked a ton drank a ton and took 4 tabs, when my trip sitter and trusted friend betrayed me and invited 2 of the kids I had ripped off in that deal into my home. For 8 hours they fucked with my mind threatened me with knives trashed my house and used violence against and around me. And then left.
I knew after this happened I was fucked up. My life was ruined. I came down and my world was upside down. My perception of reality was forever changed,,,,and I was very angry. I felt reborn and like I had to start life over from scratch.
I had flashbacks, full blown flashbacks...hppd, I looked drugged, acted psychotic. But it wasn't enough to put me in a hospital no no...it wasn't until I was prescribed Wellbutrin that I came completely psychotic and out of my mind...to the point I was handcuffed and hospitalized.....for 50 days. Diagnosed as schizoaffective disorder which I think despite how bad my trip was, I was still prone for mental illness....and had previously had underlying disorder.
So I got out of the hospital and first thing I did was smoke weed...I was on antipsychotic meds for 6 months and was kinda fine smoking weed until I went off of it and had another psychotic episode. This time I thought I was the chosen one and drove my car psychoticly and got arrested on many charges....god forbid I didn't get in an accident. Or else I'd still be in prison...
God was watching for me that day.
OK so I went through a series of hospitalizations and rehab and got a great lawyer and eventually got the charges dropped.
Well I stopped my meds and stopped taking drugs and just drank for a year and got hospitalized again. Got out. Had lost all my friends I ever had at this point....found Silk Road. Ordered every drug there is...but really only liked lsd and shrooms.
I did a milligram of lsd in one night...off my meds again drinking and smoking weed....hospitalized in the worst hospital in the state....got prolixin injections for months...stopped my meds again...did more shrooms acid weed drinking mescaline .... Hospitalized one more time when I was prescribed abilify finally which I've been on for 2 years and have not been in a psych ward since January of 2014...
But that wasn't the end not even close. I continued much of the same drug use until May when it got really bad. I took 96 mg of klonopin and 2 Xanax bars and went to the er while I was living in a group home...it wasn't a suicide attempt but really an overdose accidental...I probably would've rode it out if I wasn't living in the group home...anyways I get out after a day and the next week I take 5 grams of shrooms and it wasn't a bad trip but I had a bad reaction and came down with the WORST hppd and anxiety...I couldn't drive....I should mention I thought I was Jesus or the chosen one for 4 years.
So I checked myself into a treatment center...got kicked out for walking off the property On my way to the liquor store. Came back home and lived in a sober house for 8 months which was hell ... I raised my abilify a few times which helped a bunch but still wanted to drink...left the sober house and drank a lot since March.
Smoked more weed...did ayahuasca once, acid 5 more times, shrooms twice
The second shrooms trip made me completely psychotic for a day or 2....
Then December 9th I drank a 6 pack of ipa and took some kpins....said this is the end. Went to aa the next day and a doctors appointment and told my doctor I needed to end my addictions once and for all...so I get prescribed naltrexone 50 mg...long story short I'm 22 days sober and haven't had a single craving in that time.
I really think this is the answer for me. Aa never worked...whatever never worked. I was drinking every day before dec 10th. Now naltrexone 99.999999999% gets rid of all cravings.
It was a hell of a 7 year run of humility and self medication and self discovery but I finally got this.
I may have left out a few things like a dui I forgot about but I think my story said enough.
25 mg abilify and50 mg of naltrexone and I'm good to go. My life has been amazing the last 22 days and I love being sober. My family says I'm changed and life is just great it's amazing. I can't put in words how happy I've been after so many years of struggling...even before I ever smoked weed I had a difficult time but now I'm doing good. Can't reiterate it enough how good it feels to be sober.
Welp that's my story for more or for less
https://youtu.be/vphRKU3rTAs
