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Fear of sleep?

zombiesarepeaceful

zombiesarepeaceful

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I don't remember the exact age, but at some point in my childhood I began to fear sleeping. I don't know the reason why, I can only speculate that it's caused by something (I'm not sure what exactly, I blocked out most of my childhood and have PTSD from that time) that happened as a kid. That fear followed me into adulthood, and I hate it. I fear sleeping. I don't like being unconscious, the thought of being unconscious and unaware of my surroundings and in a black void of nothing when I'm asleep terrifies me. Most time I manage to make myself close my eyes until I fall asleep. Other times I'll go without sleep like I am now, just got done working 20 hrs today (no joke) and I have to sleep before I go back at 5am and here I am...posting here...evading sleep. Sleeping freaks me out, period. I don't want to sleep, yet when I finally convince myself to do it I know that I feel better afterwards...but I still fight it tooth and nail.

Am I the only one? Anyone else have this and believe it's related to childhood trauma/PTSD? How the fuck do you make yourself sleep, besides the obvious which would be drugging yourself.
 
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ive had this on and off for years, still get it now sometimes, but not as often. its like im subconsciously anxious about turning my brain off, but im not sure why. underlying anxiety about something else perhaps
 
Sounds like you are trying to repress your vulnerability.
Theres somethng out there in life that you dnt trust n its keeping you restless n anxious??
My guess is theres something out there that has you worried n your trying to keep conscious gaurd as much as possible, to extreme proportions sometimes; or you are trying to hide from exploring somethng within yourself while your are in the subconscious limbo that brings up all experiences within the mind, perhaps you explored to far for comfort n now this discomfort has grew into this.
My advice is to have faith in yourself that you can handle anythng within your own mind because you are the controller of everythng in there. The confidence will help you take yourself into unexplored aspects of the self to help you logically sort out what you need. The mind is the healer of flesh n soul, use it.
 
I struggle with sleep too, I don't really know why but I was plagued by nightmares as a child and I find that going to sleep can be like getting sucked into a terrifying vortex of white noise.

I also get fairly regular bouts of restless leg syndrome which can make lying in bed an absolute nightmare. I believe there are proper medications for this nowadays but I've not tried them. I've noticed o-desmethyltramadol helps with it, but then coming off it makes it ten times worse, spreading to my arms.

I used to lie in bed ruminating over worries, getting me mentally worked up and stopping me sleeping. Thankfully this has by and large stopped.

I have traditionally used alcohol (specifically red wine, certain grapes produce wine rich in sleep-inducing tryptophan) to help me nod off but it's become more of a stimulant for me in the last few years. Also it's not healthy to go to bed drunk every night - physically or mentally.

I'm sure there are long-term fixes, perhaps involving some kind of counselling, maybe lucid dreaming and so on. I haven't pursued counselling, it just doesn't feel like me. I have tried lucid dreaming and had some minor success but it seems to be a lot of effort/dedication and I've never stuck with it much. I do think having some control over sleeping consciousness would be a good thing.

There are some healthy things which do work well, though:
- being physically and mentally tired
- reading something which is interesting but not exciting. Political or philosophical writing seems to work well for me. Science fiction does not, it just keeps me awake.
- sex/masturbation!
- relaxing the body with meditation techniques. I lie on my back and focus my attention on my toes and move the focus very gradually up my body, relaxing the muscles as I go (the muscles relax naturally when you do this). I found there is a point near my solar plexus which when I focus on it releases waves of pleasure and relaxation like some kind of strange energy which I can then channel through my body and achieve very deep relaxation. If I do this for long enough, I get the urge to turn over on my side and just fall asleep. This is the one really useful thing I got from Carlos Castaneda's books, he describes there being a reservoir of energy at the solar plexus and focussing your attention on it releasing the energy. I was stunned when I tried it and it worked.

I've not found anything that I can rely on all the time. The reading is probably the most reliable, though. Off to read some Noam Chomsky in bed now! Glass of milk first too, settles my stomach and it's a good source of tryptophan.
 
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Hey dude, I really feel for you, there is nothing more frustrating and crazy-inducing that lying in bed for hours and not being able to drift off. It's a killer, I hear ya.

I have had problems with the same thing for years, and in the last couple of weeks have actually made some considerable progress, so maybe some of the following may help you also:

1. Short term solution, but sleeping pills really do work, if used properly and responsibly (it is possible to get intentionally high off these, but id you use them as intended they work a treat, in my exoerience anyway). I found they knocked me out within 20 or so minutes, I didn't even feel myself falling asleep, I would literally be awake one minute and the next thing I know would be walking up the next morning. No hangover effects either. So they might be of help in the short-term. And, by the way, Ambiem/stillnox/zolpidem tendsto have the best effect, but is also has the most use potential - but if you're main problem is sleeping then you should habe no problem taking them properly and getting a great night's sleep.

2. This is very obvious, but exercise. I'm sure you know that already, so enough said there :)

3. Meditation/hypnotic techniques work a serious charm. I am currently seeing a hypnopsychotherapist (yes, that sounds ridiculous, and I only went to see him after being hassled by my mum), but he has been working no less than full-on miracles. He has taught me how to relax properly (so much easier said than done, but I'm telling you it's worth the effort). He also made me a 40 minute CD, personalised to me own issues (regarding confidence, anxiety, sleep problems etc), which I listen to RELIGIOUSLY every night as I go to sleep, and it is so frickin relaxing you wouldn't believe it - the CD literally hypnotyses me and sends me right off to sleep in 15 mins or so. I can tell you before I started seeing this guy I would regularly be awake, tossing and turning until my parents got up at 7.30am. Fucking nightmare.

4. What about weed? I haven't tried it personally, but it's supposed to really help.

5. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) I tried (not for sleep, but for anxiety) and that really helped. But seeing as the underlying problem for you not being able to sleep is some kind of fear or anxiety, I would highly recommend this. It is generally affordable, and highly effective in my experience. Very very simple concept, it just required practice, catching your negative thoughts and consciously replacing them with more positive ones. It does work, let me tell you.

6. I think, ultimately, you need professional medical help to guide you through this. If you don't right it as soon as you can then the fear gets worse and worse, and before you know it there's no discernable way out. Can you trust you parents to talk to this? Or friends? I know it can be very difficult to broach the subject with them, you feel guilty, you don't want to be a burden...I understand, I've been there...but it's your anxiety which is at the root of the problem, and to tackle the anxiety you do need professional help. It's nothing to be remotely ashamed of - you soon realise that you don;t know what's going on behind closed doors, and every few people you meet have some sort of mental roadblock yno? Bite the bullet - it will be the scariest thing you;ve ever done, but once you get the ball rolling you are going to feel so proud that at least you;re on the way back up, right?

You can do it zombiesarepeaceful, every time you beat yourself up about something, just say to yourself - 'fuck that - if my friend came to me with the same problem, what would I do? Tell them to fuck off and cop on?' No, of course you wouldn't! You have to treat yourself as you would treat others, don;t be so hard on yourself man - I know it's a well shitty situation to be faced with, but it IS fixable, and don't forget that for a second.

Good luck man, my thoughts are with you - feel free to PM me at any time for an old rant or for advice or whatever, ya? Having gone though the same shit, Ill help you out in any way I can. Peace out :)

^ Faaack, sorry for the many many typos above, I may have popped a few ;)
 
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I get this sometimes as well but it tends to be because of nightmares more then anything. Id often sit up chain smoking all night because i didn't want to face the nightmares. I also get sleep paralysis sometimes and that is utterly terrifying so yeah that all adds to it.

Medication helps me abit but it depends on my mood really. Depression definitely makes it worse.
 
if sleep really was a safe, nice, fuzzy void filled with white static.... I wouldn't have such a grudge-match against it. Hell I'd even trade for a bit of SP, for just a few hours of straight, clean, unconsciousness.

but then again..... I hate being in a deep sleep.... makes me feel completely defenseless.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I don't remember the exact age, but at some point in my childhood I began to fear sleeping. I don't know the reason why, I can only speculate that it's caused by something (I'm not sure what exactly, I blocked out most of my childhood and have PTSD from that time) that happened as a kid. That fear followed me into adulthood, and I hate it. I fear sleeping. I don't like being unconscious, the thought of being unconscious and unaware of my surroundings and in a black void of nothing when I'm asleep terrifies me. Most time I manage to make myself close my eyes until I fall asleep. Other times I'll go without sleep like I am now, just got done working 20 hrs today (no joke) and I have to sleep before I go back at 5am and here I am...posting here...evading sleep. Sleeping freaks me out, period. I don't want to sleep, yet when I finally convince myself to do it I know that I feel better afterwards...but I still fight it tooth and nail.

Am I the only one? Anyone else have this and believe it's related to childhood trauma/PTSD? How the fuck do you make yourself sleep, besides the obvious which would be drugging yourself.
Click to expand...

Take an ambien... wake up, pop a valium. Go back to bed. Wake up 3 hours later and take some lortab and an ambien.
Dont take drugs to help you sleep or you will be like me
 
yeh suggesting drugs for this is ridiculous. also benzos are shitty sleep aids. take a trazodone, seroquel or remeron once or twice a week for emergency sleep, but otherwise try to get through it on your own if you can. look into sleep hygiene. one thing that always helped me since i was a kid was this trick where you put your elbows tothe side, and your thumbs together, and breathe in and out so your thumbs touch each other when you breathe out. sounds ridiculous but its helped me and i have ALWAYS had major sleep anxieties. i.e. its 2:20 am right now, im still going to take a shower, and go to bed at like 4 or 5 am :S [luckiy i dont work currently; im a bum :D]
 
Exhaust yourself? Go work out til you feel spongy, and then work your mind by studying something for a while, then relax, you'll probably fall asleep.

Quickfix? Traumatic brain injury...get someone to clock you upside the head with a 2 x 4. (no don't do that...just stick to a balance of physical and mental exercise followed by relaxing and going to bed in a dark, quiet room)

I'll stay awake long enough for you, me, and hell, all of bluelight. :P
 
I work 12 hrs a day....but it doesn't tire me out anymore. There's days where I work, sleep no or maybe a couple hours...go back to work..by that time I sleep when I get off work. I don't know. If my shrink wasn't already treating me for adhd with adderall I'd ask for something to help me but that would seem like drug seeking and it took me long enough to find a shrink who doesn't reject the idea that adult adhd exists. If I don't have the option of my adhd meds, I get more wacked out than I already am, so I don't want to say I can't sleep and then have him decrease my adderall dose or eliminate it altogether.

For now I know that I can always drug myself with benadryl if I get desperate...or if I take dxm I usually feel like I've slept when I really haven't...or if nothing else, my roommate has seroquel and it knocks me the fuck out but I seriously avoid going that route cause I don't like being knocked on my ass...I've been rx'd ambien in the past and it helped but that was from a different shrink and shit.
 
i don't really fear sleep i just find it really hard. i've never, as long as i remember been able to sleep properly. if i try to go to sleep before i'm actully falling asleep on my feet then i wake back up again and can't sleep till like 7am.
 
I just started getting the same thing myself because I don't want to shut off my brain. I hate that feeling of unconsciousness. I hate just being tired and knowing you need sleep but you can't face your fear. I hate that.
 
Spend time in the sun or use melatonin. To me just sounds more like insomnia than fear of sleep. Melatonin chamomille and dph help my insomnia. I've had trazadone and seroquel both made me like the walking dead the next day. Ambien works really great for me, but alas no insurance.
 
It's most probably due to the trauma you mentioned. You really got to come to terms with it in your own way. And you really have to get to sleep! There's no magic cure all for mental disorders--I've searched high and low for it...lol just follow your instinct that it has something to do with your PTSD, because you know yourself better than anyone else.
 
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