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Fear of losing control

structural entropy

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 13, 2010
Messages
70
Anyone ever get the feeling where you have to stop yourself and say to yourself over and over again "I will not lose control, I will not lose control, I will not lose control"?

This is mainly stemming from a really bad trip I had on jwh-018 + 4-aco-dmt (really dumb... I wanted weed so bad while tripping, and my 'friend' kept bullshitting me about getting weed, lost a lot of money from that douchebag :( )

Anyway, I know not to combine artificial cannabinoids with psys now.

But does anyone else get that feeling where you promise to never, ever lose control?
 
uhhh yeaa but its not cause im acutally losing control its more like "wow i can see why SOME people do lose control and this is probably where they would do it" but im fine so i keep it cool.
 
There were many unpleasant things going on with my bad trip. I was mentally confused and it felt like there were two 'me's inside my head, one trying to remain calm, and the other freaking out... I was by myself the whole time... I was crawling on the floor for some parts of the trip and it felt like the membranes of my heart were going to rupture and pop. It was a truly frightening experience.

Fortunately I'm able to keep it together inasmuch as to not try anything incredibly stupid.
 
In the first period of my tripping career this could happen to me, but after more and more trips I rarely got it anymore because it was easier to realize that it's all in your mind and you do it yourself. Control isn't something you lose or get, it's what you take. And the only thing getting in the way is your own fear, so 'fear' that fear and not the losing of control.

When your ego is slipping away it can be harder and harder though. On some occasions I couldn't let go because I didn't trust what would happen to my body if "I" were to leave and blast off into nothingness.
The answer, in my experience, is trust and love. Grant yourself those and you will receive and have them. And it's all you need to know that it will be alright.
 
I've had it twice, on my two most intense trips. I've tripped 10 times total now, 4 times with 4-AcO-DMT, 5 times with 2C-E and one time with both combined. On my most intense 4-AcO-DMT trip and on my combo trip last night I had some moments where I felt like I was losing control, the first time it happened I ended up "stuck in a loop" for 8 hours, which was kind of unpleasant but I felt a lot better afterwards - last night in my combo trip though I just let go and remembered that lack of control is a good thing with psychedelics, turned out amazing. :)
 
loosing control is usually just one step closer to a important realization..imo.
 
If you keep reminding yourself of what you DONT want to do, then thats all your going to focus on "Dont lose control" well the main command there seems to be "lose control" rather than "dont" because i dont know what i should be replacing that behaiviour with.

I took 4-AcO_DMT and I didnt really have a frame of reference for the intensity of the trip so instead of affirming what i dont want I simply repeated simple affirmations of serenity and simplicty "I love myself" "I love all of this" "I am love" " I'm just another person" "we all can feel similar"

THAT got me through, not fearing something and deterring it but embracing something good while im panicing
 
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