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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

fear of hell.

hexagram

hexagram

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
1,712
I have been contemplating suicide for a while now, made one attempt.

The thing that's stopping me atm is I grew up going to church. It was an intense, penecostal church. And whilst I think the bible dosen't make sense, I saw and experienced things growing up that make me question.

Much as I want to die, there is still a little part of me that is fucking terrified it might all be true, and if it is, then I am truly fucked. After all, what's worse than hell?

Anyone have any views on the afterlife? what happens after you die?
 
Why are you contemplating suicide - why do you want to die that badly?

I'm far more curious as to what happens in this realm than the next - so much to learn, do, experience. Your going to die anyway - may as well enjoy this time as much as you can?

If you feel that your going to go to hell when you die - change your life now (I'm not suggesting you grab your holy book etc) but why do you think your going to hell anyway?
 
I wasn't brought up in a religious atmosphere. I never once went to church with my family but it was shoved down our neck in school. I really can't reconcile predetermination with freewill and final judgement. Hell is an all-too convenient, archaic, tool of coercion. As much as the idea of heaven gives people comfort, hell also gives people comfort; it's nice for them to think those who did not lead, what they perceive to be, as moral a life as their own will suffer for it. Otherwise, what is the point in being moral?

I have had a few experiences in my life where I believed I was dead and had gone to hell (another few where I believed I had died and gone to heaven) and, mostly, they terrified the shit out of me. However, I don't believe it any conscious existence after death, nor do I believe in any judgement of the spirit.

As Curtis Mayfield wrote - ''If there's a hell below, we're all gonna go''.

Despite what I said - I want to tell you that hell is definitely real and you will suffer far more than you currently are :p - don't catch the bus, man. I know the hurt is still raw, but she's not worth that. Nobody is. I'm not judging you in any way as I would be a massive hypocrite, but stop with the amount of meth and heroin while everything is still raw. They only feed to the cycle of the compulsive thinking about her, the anger, the guilt, the hindsight. I've reached the stage a few times in my life and I've only ever acted on it when the perceived pain outweighs the guilt. When you don't succeed and have to deal with the aftermath, what you do to your loved ones, then the guilt and shame really hits you.

I know it sometimes doesn't feel enough to preserve your life for the sake of others, but that's a pretty damn good reason if you ask me.

Besides, your uncertainty about hell is a good thing. The question of whether and what there is after death is uncertain. It could be worse. At least the suffering that everyone's guaranteed when they're alive is a familiar suffering. You don't know what you'll get when you die. Don't be tempted with Descarte style thinking of, ''The world only exists as I am here to perceive it''. The world does go on when you're dead. Suicide leaves so many questions for people and that guilt that one overcomes to commit the act gets propagated into far more people.

Speak to someone. Maybe see if you can admit yourself to a psych ward voluntarily. A few weeks away from everything can be a great help, if only to get yourself stabilised a bit. The heartache will get easier, man. Even if it takes a few years, it will. It took me about five years, I'm still a bit scarred but they're scars that don't hurt. Sure you might re-open the wound now and again, but you get much better at repairing it.

Just don't be so hasty. You aren't able to reason properly in your mindset, when you have such powerful drugs being added to the mix.

Get speaking to someone! <3
 
Hex, the way you've been banging the drugs I'm not surprised you feel like this. They are not helping and Don's right go speak to someone asap. It doesn't need to be like this or feel this bad being alive, honestly flower <3

We all go through bad times , but you will get back out of this awful loop.

There is no hell for me only suffering. I look towards buddhism (with a small b as I'm not religious at all) to help xxx
 
warriorOnTheEdge said:
All my blood relatives are dead, I do not believe any form of consciousness survives on this plane or any other, oddly this comforts me.
Click to expand...

Loved ones ? I have a few people in my lives that I simply could not wish them a death without the notion of them being happy or in an other place. Strange as I don't have that same notion for myself - die = death. Could this maybe be heaven ? .

Do you think about your blood relatives in a good way - a bad way or do you not until a post like this comes along?
 
Bearlove said:
Loved ones ? I have a few people in my lives that I simply could not wish them a death without the notion of them being happy or in an other place. Strange as I don't have that same notion for myself - die = death. Could this maybe be heaven ? .

Do you think about your blood relatives in a good way - a bad way or do you not until a post like this comes along?
Click to expand...

A good way, purely because my memories of their existence are good, as for loved ones if my wife or children died, pretty sure i'd feel the same way, it really is the end in my mind.
 
koneko said:
There is no hell for me only suffering. I look towards buddhism (with a small b as I'm not religious at all) to help xxx
Click to expand...
exactly! a very, very small bee indeed since don't you still eat meat? true compassion can't fully be attained until you give up indulging needlessly in thee furry critters for the sake of gluttony. Yo.

hexagram: I've been contemplating similar circumstances over the last 12 months.

Why not just ditch any deliberately obtuse and unfavourable behaviour towards others and cover all bases, just in case?

Other than that, I'm pretty sure any understanding deity will accommodate any use of substances grown from this lush green planet.

Forget about choosing a book and instead use your own morals as guidance. As long as you act in good faith towards others and make a concerted effort to act in good faith towards those you come into contact with, karmic baggage should be minimal, I recon <3
 
Ms Mermaid said:
exactly! a very, very small bee indeed since don't you still eat meat? true compassion can't fully be attained until you give up indulging needlessly in thee furry critters for the sake of gluttony. Yo...
Click to expand...

Tis' not a competitive combative sport madam :D

%)

Don't de-rail the thread, I'm sure raas has one for such chit-chat, no?.
 
warriorOnTheEdge said:
A good way, purely because my memories of their existence are good, as for loved ones if my wife or children died, pretty sure i'd feel the same way, it really is the end in my mind.
Click to expand...

But if your memories of them were negative that would equate to hell? If your memories of your own life are good why fear hell? I would find it pretty hard to imagine a birthday of a loved one and only thing - they are dead.
 
koneko said:
Tis' not a competitive combative sport madam :D

%)

Don't de-rail the thread, I'm sure raas has one for such chit-chat, no?.
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^ classy dodge missus. Kudos. Some might even call it sneeeeaky.

Lub n stuff, obv <3

Edit:

And just in case of confusion or in case my intent is wildly misread, I pointed out the meat thing because if anyone reads your post and associates you with Buddhism, its important to me that you aren't associated with being a poster girl for what Buddhism is essentially about, since I see you as wildly missing the mark on that score on even the most basic of levels, eating meat being the first most obvious point. I could go on, but I won't. And I won't use raas as any kind of excuse either. Cuz that's just cheap, however popular and convenient a device
 
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hexagram said:
I have been contemplating suicide for a while now, made one attempt.

The thing that's stopping me atm is I grew up going to church. It was an intense, penecostal church. And whilst I think the bible dosen't make sense, I saw and experienced things growing up that make me question.

Much as I want to die, there is still a little part of me that is fucking terrified it might all be true, and if it is, then I am truly fucked. After all, what's worse than hell?

Anyone have any views on the afterlife? what happens after you die?
Click to expand...

I too went to a religeous school and im religeous and have also experianced things which justify my beliefs. And yes to take your own life is a huge sin in gods eyes, i think its the biggest. So your worrys are justified, things will get better hex. Just give it some time we all move on nomatter how hard it may seem atm.
 
I also agree with whats said that if u are in a negative mind set, and emotional. heroin after u'v comedown will leave u all over the place it really fucks with your emotions, and i dont know about meth but im sure it wont help your mental wellbeing either, quite the oposite really both drugs will make things worse in the long run they might help while your high on them, but u cant stay high forever. Sounds to me like you need a break from the drugs mate. Let your head clear out abit u will feel better for it.
 
Christ yes, the depression on the days after taking even minor opis is magnified tenfold, i can only try to imagine how much worse it would be when you come down off a heroin high / when you wake up the next day. Dont throw your life away, things may seem hopeless at the moment, but in time you will find a way to make things better, ideally without drugs. If your mental health is at this stage you really dont want to be rocking the boat with roller coaster mood swings.
 
Ms Mermaid said:
exactly! a very, very small bee indeed since don't you still eat meat? true compassion can't fully be attained until you give up indulging needlessly in thee furry critters for the sake of gluttony. Yo.
Click to expand...
Is that before or after you give up indulging needlessly in lording it up over others, guilt-tripping them over their dietary choices?

There is also a rare genetic disorder that leaves your body unable to synthesise taurine (a protein fragment which is not found in any plant), making it actually impossible to survive on a vegetarian diet.
NSFW:
You go blind and your internal organs fail one by one until you either bleed to death or just poison yourself with stuff you can't get rid of. Kind of makes you envy modern slaughter techniques, really.
 
da man said:
I too went to a religeous school and im religeous and have also experianced things which justify my beliefs. And yes to take your own life is a huge sin in gods eyes, i think its the biggest. So your worrys are justified, things will get better hex. Just give it some time we all move on nomatter how hard it may seem atm.
Click to expand...

As a lapsed catholic I was also told that sucide is an unforgvable sin. But like every other contradiction set down in the Vatican II it goes against everything else ive been taught about god. I doubt he exists, but still hold onto my faith in a very private way (faith is essential for any religious belief - if you know something for a fact then it wouldnt even be up for discussion.) Im was brought up with the majority of my religious impressions and opinons formed from the 'Good News' described n the gospels. You dot have to be a religious scholar to see that the god described in the OT was a real bastard at times, commiting both genocide (the flood in genesis) and infanticide (the final plague that preceeded Moses exodus from egypt.)

But the god who i have faith in is obviously the god described by Jesus Christ, a pretty cool hippy who ended up nailed to a tree for suggesting that folk would fair better if they started being nice to each other. The god Jesus described sounds fantastic - hes the one ive always had a relationship as he forgives. Thats the beautiful truth. Despite what the church would have you believe, he is prepared to love everyone, black/white, gay/straight and all ports inbetween...

Anybody who commits suicide must have suffered greatly in this life, and the last thing that god is going to do is punish them further. I have faith in that much at least. Suicide is not a sin, its just a fucking tragedy. Ive been around alot of suicides and not one of them deserved to die, never mind going to hell
 
I've seen a very convincing social experiment that shows people will put up with way worse conditions, if you can convince them that the situation is temporary and will improve soon of its own accord, than if they think it is forever. This explains why the offer of an afterlife that is preferrable to their life makes religion so attractive. Unfortunately, a prohibition on suicide is then required to prevent people from trying to game the system .....
 
Christ this a post i could really let go in my hatred towards a god that would allow such a precious thing as life be turned in to misery then to punish us with the crime suicide but as i am on the edge of waging a condemned war with him myself at the minute all i will say do not fear the other side get there screaming in hate to wards the god that let you end your life its not your doing this its his
 
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