TDS fear of happiness

tackyspiral

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2006
Messages
2,657
Location
rocky mountains
I am not sure where to start but everytime things are going well and i feel really happy whether it be for a few days or weeks or even months i begin to get very fearful and cant help but wonder when it will all come crashing down .... for some reason its hard for me to believe that things can even stay good for too too long

I realize there may be a bit of truth to this statement as i believe that life is inherently full of ups and downs... there is an ebb and flow to everything kind of thing.... this style of thinking helps a lot when i am down but it scares me when i am up

i get silly superstitious about stuff to.... hell i am even afraid to post happy stuff sometimes in the how are you in one word thread.... and i sometimes feel like everytime i say things are great btw me and my man he does gets drunk or we get in a fight

overall i have to remember that right now things are continuing to move in the right direction - sometimes its slow and things dont always happen when i want them to but i am going forward :)

I just get so scared it come crashing down at any moment .... i mean look at all the broken families after the elementary school shooting in connecticut ......
 
In reality, things CAN come crashing down at any moment. It's clear everywhere around us. Like you said- the CT shooting for example. Those families lives have been changed forever.

One thing that I have learned is to not try to predict the future and just live day by day. Right now, you are happy. Right now, you're content. The what if's are what can really bring us down. The present is what you are living, so focus on that. When that proverbial bridge that needs to be crossed comes up, that's when you should cross it. But right now, just embrace the happiness that you're experiencing, and don't let anxieties over "what if's" get you down too much. <3
 
I agree with rx_prn - you just have to get yourself to a point of not thinking about the future and managing to embrace the present moment as it is. Carpe diem, after all :) did a lot of negative stuff happen in your life recently? I always get the same sort of paranoia after bad phases in my life but it tends to go away with time. I think it helps to simply force yourself, every time you have an unproductively negative/pointlessly negative thought, to push it out of your head. Just stop the thought in its tracks and don't allow yourself to let it come back, distract yourself for a few minutes, get it out of your head. If you do this every time I can guarantee they'll stop coming back after a while :)
 
Another way to think about your feelings (especially in incidents like the one word thread) is to say "I'm feeling sad," or "I'm feeling happy" rather than "I am sad" or "I am happy." When we say things the latter way we tend to self-identify more with our feelings and that can be a bad habit to get into even if you are in a positive mindset. Just adding that you're feeling that way can reassure yourself that feelings and thoughts are only temporary. It takes some practice to get into this sort of mindset and can be difficult at times, but for me it really has helped.
 
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