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fear of being sober

pill_billy

pill_billy

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 12, 2014
Messages
1,325
Location
west fukin virginia
Ive been altering my mind in way or another for 13 years, and until the last two Ive been able to keep opiates in check. But when I started smoking 30s it was all down hill and eventully lead to the needle. But Im in an IOP class and like every where else they say you can never do this substance again. I dont know why but this just infuriates me to no end and just wonder if any else ever went through that and how they delt with it.
 
its hard being sober for me. i got 4 months and its fucking hard. mood is all over the place. im just learning to deal with life sober. It scares me to never use drugs again, but they say in meeting not to focus on never using again. just focus on staying sober today. it makes it a little easier with that time frame. i dont think a addict can go back to casual use of their DOC after being addicted before. ive tried, and i always end up just getting fucked up every day. so thats me two cents. How do you feel about getting sober, or do u want to be sober?
 
Fear of being sober is fear of being yourself and finding out who that self really is. Fortunately when you go into that journey of getting to know yourself with compassion, you find out you are a pretty average and flawed human being walking around with a lot of other pretty average and flawed human beings and that every one of them--and thus, you, too--is a miraculous and mysterious unique creature that you could spend a lifetime getting to know.

Buddhists say that the hardest compassion to achieve is compassion for the self. The way I try to get past that stumbling block--especially when I am consumed with guilt or shame or judgment--is to ask how I would speak to a friend about whatever it is I am judging myself with. I would never use the kind of language I use in my head against myself with someone else going through the same thing.

The other thing that lots of people struggle with in being sober is boredom. Boredom is a lack of imagination so do things that work your imagination. Find a creative outlet that you enjoy. Then pursue it without trying to be 'good' or focusing in any way on anything more than the process of whatever it is you are learning. If you are an adrenaline freak, go for things that get your adrenaline pumping.

Try not to focus on "never". Focus on today--on changing your life and your self in small steps today. The "never" approach infuriates a lot of people but that is just you throwing up something to get pissed about in your head so you can avoid the harder stuff like how to live a satisfying life.
 
Boredom the time is 11:22pm. You can watch life pass you by, I forgot the rest of the quote.
 
Why you have a fear of getting sober? It changes your life in a good and healthy way.
 
DarrylC1 said:
Why you have a fear of getting sober? It changes your life in a good and healthy way.
Click to expand...

It wasnt only the opiates I was addicted to, it was the entire lifestyle... I really did love the hustle... theres something about finding ppl that needed shit, finding the shit, and making everything happen that I loved... everyday was different, some better then others, but you always got to meet new people, meet new chicks, run around literally for days at a time... granted this all did get me into an amazing amount of trouble with the law and Im being forced to get sober... Im not someone who says they dont have a problem, honestly its amazing Im not dead or in prison already... but I was just able to keep my shit in check for so long for someone else to tell me that Im to weak to get back to where I was just pisses me off.... mabe their right, mabe Ill have to learn the hard way, but something in me cant believe that Im too weak to have the same control over a substance that I had for ten years... anyways thanks for everyone posting
 
So you have to find a way for your life to include this kind of variety and adrenaline thrill that scoring did. And even if it pisses you off to hear it, you know it is true that you cannot maintain that control for the long run. Prison is a horrible ordeal that goes on and on even once you are out with your brand new felony attached to your name. It shuts a lot of doors. Good luck.
 
Getting clean is really fucking scary, especially for people like you and I who didn't really develop any other ways to sooth and deal with shit in our lives. I am just lucky that I fucked my life up so much that the fear of continuing to use was outweighed by the fear of stopping. Nothing else kept me clean... I had to want it and I still want it. Its not easy, but at this point its easier then not using.

For me, it really is about changing everything. In many ways I am learning how to be an adult now, at the age of 31. Since I have been clean though, things are improving so quickly its difficult for me to believe.
 
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