Started smoking oc every once and awhile back 18 months ago
then became more of 1 week smoking it everyday 3 weeks off
then 6 months of sobriety, but very depressed
then smoked oc again one night, but this is once the prices were inflated due to short supply.
I had smoked heroin once before, it was nice, more mellow than oc. OC made me productive.
I didn't want to pay the oc prices so I bought some h to smoke. The effects in comparison to smoking oc were minimal, just kind of a calm state of mind I could take it or leave it at this point.
So I decided to leave it after using for 3 weeks I went sober for 4 weeks and then started using it again because someone thought I was a police informant, so better use than lose my life. Used for a week and stopped again for 2 weeks. Then a girl came over to my house and asked me if I knew where to get some meth. I had about 3 grams of h in my freezer that I figured I could trade. And I kept about 1.5 grams in my freezer.
We got the meth, and I swore I'd never smoke it, but for some reason that night it seemed appealing. Oh man, so much smoke, so cool, instant rush, I had to drive 30 minutes later and my pupils were bigger than my iris, so I smoked some h and went to sleep 4 hours later.
I smoke about .2 the next few days, and then get clean for the next 3 weeks.
Having never shot up one of my friends drops by and gives me some new needles just in case I want to try it, and I had been sober for 3 weeks. Well this triggers me smoking it but not getting high any more, I try to do it throw the nose but that is just a mess and taste like crap. So I rig up and shoot up for the first time by myself. I did a .17 and felt good until I tried to eat and puked. 4 hours later I shot a .1 and missed the vein, at this point I told myself I would never do heroin again.
Next day Girl comes over again wanting to score some more meth, so we go get some. The dealer keeps passing around the pipe and loading it up, and then she buys some we go to her place and smoke all night. Collectively I smoked 1.9grams of the best stuff in town over 12 hours.
I get home after being awake for 24 hours and have to go to work, my pupils are HUGE, but I figure I can play it off. Boy was I wrong! People noticed big time asking me wtf is wrong with me.
After being up for 48 hours I went to the doctor for the missed vein and she gave me some antibotics, I was up for another 24 hours when I decided to smoke some heroin to calm me down, since the doctor said my only option to come down from the meth was rapid detox at the er. The H calmed me down, until it wore off then I was a spun kid for another 12 hours.
I had lost 17lbs in those 4 days and couldn't even speak clearly. I wanted to be able to sleep more than anything. I threw away all my drugs and turned off my phone and deleted my facebook and was starting the second semester at school.
So I'm doing great 7 days sober things are looking better I'm cleaning my room and I find a gram of heroin bagged up and 2 new needles. Temptation was staring me in the eye. So I broke off a .1 cooked up and rigged up. I tried to shoot up but I sweating, shaking and scared that I just drove over to a friends house and asked if he would do it. He threw the rig so far and told me to quit fucking with this shit.
I go to work later, I finish all my class work and a bag of h is just sitting on the table with a new needle next to it. I turn the heater on, cook up and poke my arm, try to register, miss. take a deep breathe and try again, miss, try one more time and it's a hit. A cloud of fear, guilt and shame comes overhead, and ostracizing myself from everything, being the most selfish person I have ever been. I push down the plunger melting away and fall asleep. I missed my first class of the day, and just felt guilty and dirty. I broke the rig and told myself I was never going to use again.
It's been 10 days since the last shot and 3 weeks since smoking the meth.
I find myself thinking about smoking the meth atleast once a day and shooting the H maybe every other day. Will these feelings subsided with time?
I have been biking everyday for the past 3 weeks over 20 miles a day, working 36 hours a week, and going to school 6 hours MF and 13 hours on W. I work out at home 3 days a week, and am going to start going back to the gym next week after my test tomorrow.
then became more of 1 week smoking it everyday 3 weeks off
then 6 months of sobriety, but very depressed
then smoked oc again one night, but this is once the prices were inflated due to short supply.
I had smoked heroin once before, it was nice, more mellow than oc. OC made me productive.
I didn't want to pay the oc prices so I bought some h to smoke. The effects in comparison to smoking oc were minimal, just kind of a calm state of mind I could take it or leave it at this point.
So I decided to leave it after using for 3 weeks I went sober for 4 weeks and then started using it again because someone thought I was a police informant, so better use than lose my life. Used for a week and stopped again for 2 weeks. Then a girl came over to my house and asked me if I knew where to get some meth. I had about 3 grams of h in my freezer that I figured I could trade. And I kept about 1.5 grams in my freezer.
We got the meth, and I swore I'd never smoke it, but for some reason that night it seemed appealing. Oh man, so much smoke, so cool, instant rush, I had to drive 30 minutes later and my pupils were bigger than my iris, so I smoked some h and went to sleep 4 hours later.
I smoke about .2 the next few days, and then get clean for the next 3 weeks.
Having never shot up one of my friends drops by and gives me some new needles just in case I want to try it, and I had been sober for 3 weeks. Well this triggers me smoking it but not getting high any more, I try to do it throw the nose but that is just a mess and taste like crap. So I rig up and shoot up for the first time by myself. I did a .17 and felt good until I tried to eat and puked. 4 hours later I shot a .1 and missed the vein, at this point I told myself I would never do heroin again.
Next day Girl comes over again wanting to score some more meth, so we go get some. The dealer keeps passing around the pipe and loading it up, and then she buys some we go to her place and smoke all night. Collectively I smoked 1.9grams of the best stuff in town over 12 hours.
I get home after being awake for 24 hours and have to go to work, my pupils are HUGE, but I figure I can play it off. Boy was I wrong! People noticed big time asking me wtf is wrong with me.
After being up for 48 hours I went to the doctor for the missed vein and she gave me some antibotics, I was up for another 24 hours when I decided to smoke some heroin to calm me down, since the doctor said my only option to come down from the meth was rapid detox at the er. The H calmed me down, until it wore off then I was a spun kid for another 12 hours.
I had lost 17lbs in those 4 days and couldn't even speak clearly. I wanted to be able to sleep more than anything. I threw away all my drugs and turned off my phone and deleted my facebook and was starting the second semester at school.
So I'm doing great 7 days sober things are looking better I'm cleaning my room and I find a gram of heroin bagged up and 2 new needles. Temptation was staring me in the eye. So I broke off a .1 cooked up and rigged up. I tried to shoot up but I sweating, shaking and scared that I just drove over to a friends house and asked if he would do it. He threw the rig so far and told me to quit fucking with this shit.
I go to work later, I finish all my class work and a bag of h is just sitting on the table with a new needle next to it. I turn the heater on, cook up and poke my arm, try to register, miss. take a deep breathe and try again, miss, try one more time and it's a hit. A cloud of fear, guilt and shame comes overhead, and ostracizing myself from everything, being the most selfish person I have ever been. I push down the plunger melting away and fall asleep. I missed my first class of the day, and just felt guilty and dirty. I broke the rig and told myself I was never going to use again.
It's been 10 days since the last shot and 3 weeks since smoking the meth.
I find myself thinking about smoking the meth atleast once a day and shooting the H maybe every other day. Will these feelings subsided with time?
I have been biking everyday for the past 3 weeks over 20 miles a day, working 36 hours a week, and going to school 6 hours MF and 13 hours on W. I work out at home 3 days a week, and am going to start going back to the gym next week after my test tomorrow.
