He started out as just another guy at the club. Staring at me in my white tube top, you know... the way single guys at a club do. I wouldn't even give him the time of day. But, *laugh*, ecstacy makes people have a way with words, and one day, we talked. From then on, i became everything in his life. and even though i didn't treat him very well, i loved it. he flattered me, he put me on a pedestal, he made me feel like a princess. he cried a lot of tears over me. i wasn't trying to be a bitch... he just, wasn't my type.
but what is my type, i wondered? (my ex-boyfriend?) yeah right, like that worked out well. *laugh* i passed him off as "every other guy" in the world. everyone saw it but me... the way he looked at me. right down into my soul. i wish i had been nicer to him. i still clearly remember the night at the club, when he got on the microphone and dedicated my favorite song to me, and there i was, dancing with someone else. i saw the way he put his head down and walked away. i didnt know he cried. we did end up dancing. he took me in his arms and suddenly there was no greater feeling on earth. the way he just... held me. loved me, without even saying it. the way he sang to me. the way he kissed me and my knees got weak.
and i fell in love with him. right then and there.
i was his whole world, for a very long time. his eyes and heart were always on me, not his friends, not beautiful girls walking down the street. just on me. and every time he looked at me was always like the first. he could melt me in place.
then one day, he put a ring on my finger. he made promises.
and one day, he broke promises.
i dont know when the looks stopped. i dont know when we lost each other, or how. he likes to blame me for it, now. and i like to blame him. but i guess you really cant blame anyone for falling out of love.
couldn't it just be that simple?
i always wonder, if i hadn't said the things i said to him that day on the boardwalk, hadnt thrown his dumb ring back at him, hadn't yelled at him, and hated him, and walked away... i wonder... where would we be today? thinking of that boardwalk, that day, that beach, that hotel room where i slept alone... brings tears to my eyes. when i think of him, i no longer see the faces of all the other girls he made his princess while we were together. all i see is the guy in the club who melts me with one look.
i got over him. somehow. and the second i did, there he was. loving me. melting me. confusing me. he hurt me so bad, i dont know why he came back for Round 2. when he calls me late at night, and tells me he loves me before he hangs up, like nothing in the world is wrong, it always catches my breath in my throat. to hear it.
so are we back where we started? are we going to try again? sleeping next to each other, holding each other, waking up next to each other.... it doesn't feel right when he's not there. cuz in my own little way, i have him. when he's asleep in my arms, i have him, any way i want him, in my dreams. he can still be the guy in the club, not the guy who broke his promise.
i like to think that our feelings are unspoken. i guess in my heart, i know things can never go back to how they once were... but in our hearts, we will always be that way.
this morning, we had sex. for the first time in my life, i understood what it was to "make love" to someone. the way being intimate with them makes you love them so much that you could just burst inside. the way silent tears stream from your eyes and you just hold him tighter and tighter and hope it will never end. the way we feel perfect together. the way things are perfect.
The way he didn't look me in the eye, not even once.
The way he didn't kiss me, not even once.
The way he never held me, or caressed me, or touched me.
The way he didn't "make love" to me at all.
Except for in my mind.
The way he never said sweet things, or for that matter, anything at all.
The way he just got up in the middle of it and said, "i'm gonna be late."
The way he yelled at me.
The way he stormed out.
The way he said "Whatever."
The way he slammed the door.
The way it got really cold.
The way i buried my face in my pillow and cried.
Love is a funny thing. Falling in love is so easy. Falling out of it, is not. Sometimes, something very small has to happen to just, make you fall out of love. Maybe its NOT 9 other girls he slept with. Maybe its not never being there when you need them. Maybe its not the names you get called, the way you get hurt, the way you get hit, or the way you get treated.
Maybe one day, something just isn't right anymore.
------------------
there goes my old girlfriend
there's another diamond ring
and all those late-night promises
i guess they dont mean a thing
so baby, what's the story?
did you, find another man?
is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
when you dont look back
i guess the feelings start to fade away...
i used to feel your fire
but now its cold inside
and you're back on the street
like you didnt miss a beat
tell me what it takes to let you go
tell me how the pain's supposed to go
tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life
to the toss of the dice?
tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
girl before i met you
i was F-I-N-E fine
but your love made me a prisoner
yeah my heart's been doing time
you spent me up like money
then you hung me out to dry
was it easy to keep all your lies in disguise
cuz you had me hidden deep with the devil in your eyes?
tell me what it takes to let you go
tell me how the pain's supposed to go
tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life
to the toss of the dice?
tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
tell me that you're happy that you're on your own
tell me that its better when you're all alone
tell me that your body doesnt miss my touch
tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much
tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me
tell me who's to blame for thinking twice (no no no no)
'cause i don't wanna burn in paradise
(let it go let it go ... )
-Aerosmith
[This message has been edited by E-girl (edited 12 November 2001).]
but what is my type, i wondered? (my ex-boyfriend?) yeah right, like that worked out well. *laugh* i passed him off as "every other guy" in the world. everyone saw it but me... the way he looked at me. right down into my soul. i wish i had been nicer to him. i still clearly remember the night at the club, when he got on the microphone and dedicated my favorite song to me, and there i was, dancing with someone else. i saw the way he put his head down and walked away. i didnt know he cried. we did end up dancing. he took me in his arms and suddenly there was no greater feeling on earth. the way he just... held me. loved me, without even saying it. the way he sang to me. the way he kissed me and my knees got weak.
and i fell in love with him. right then and there.
i was his whole world, for a very long time. his eyes and heart were always on me, not his friends, not beautiful girls walking down the street. just on me. and every time he looked at me was always like the first. he could melt me in place.
then one day, he put a ring on my finger. he made promises.
and one day, he broke promises.
i dont know when the looks stopped. i dont know when we lost each other, or how. he likes to blame me for it, now. and i like to blame him. but i guess you really cant blame anyone for falling out of love.
couldn't it just be that simple?
i always wonder, if i hadn't said the things i said to him that day on the boardwalk, hadnt thrown his dumb ring back at him, hadn't yelled at him, and hated him, and walked away... i wonder... where would we be today? thinking of that boardwalk, that day, that beach, that hotel room where i slept alone... brings tears to my eyes. when i think of him, i no longer see the faces of all the other girls he made his princess while we were together. all i see is the guy in the club who melts me with one look.
i got over him. somehow. and the second i did, there he was. loving me. melting me. confusing me. he hurt me so bad, i dont know why he came back for Round 2. when he calls me late at night, and tells me he loves me before he hangs up, like nothing in the world is wrong, it always catches my breath in my throat. to hear it.
so are we back where we started? are we going to try again? sleeping next to each other, holding each other, waking up next to each other.... it doesn't feel right when he's not there. cuz in my own little way, i have him. when he's asleep in my arms, i have him, any way i want him, in my dreams. he can still be the guy in the club, not the guy who broke his promise.
i like to think that our feelings are unspoken. i guess in my heart, i know things can never go back to how they once were... but in our hearts, we will always be that way.
this morning, we had sex. for the first time in my life, i understood what it was to "make love" to someone. the way being intimate with them makes you love them so much that you could just burst inside. the way silent tears stream from your eyes and you just hold him tighter and tighter and hope it will never end. the way we feel perfect together. the way things are perfect.
The way he didn't look me in the eye, not even once.
The way he didn't kiss me, not even once.
The way he never held me, or caressed me, or touched me.
The way he didn't "make love" to me at all.
Except for in my mind.
The way he never said sweet things, or for that matter, anything at all.
The way he just got up in the middle of it and said, "i'm gonna be late."
The way he yelled at me.
The way he stormed out.
The way he said "Whatever."
The way he slammed the door.
The way it got really cold.
The way i buried my face in my pillow and cried.
Love is a funny thing. Falling in love is so easy. Falling out of it, is not. Sometimes, something very small has to happen to just, make you fall out of love. Maybe its NOT 9 other girls he slept with. Maybe its not never being there when you need them. Maybe its not the names you get called, the way you get hurt, the way you get hit, or the way you get treated.
Maybe one day, something just isn't right anymore.
------------------
there goes my old girlfriend
there's another diamond ring
and all those late-night promises
i guess they dont mean a thing
so baby, what's the story?
did you, find another man?
is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
when you dont look back
i guess the feelings start to fade away...
i used to feel your fire
but now its cold inside
and you're back on the street
like you didnt miss a beat
tell me what it takes to let you go
tell me how the pain's supposed to go
tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life
to the toss of the dice?
tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
girl before i met you
i was F-I-N-E fine
but your love made me a prisoner
yeah my heart's been doing time
you spent me up like money
then you hung me out to dry
was it easy to keep all your lies in disguise
cuz you had me hidden deep with the devil in your eyes?
tell me what it takes to let you go
tell me how the pain's supposed to go
tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life
to the toss of the dice?
tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
tell me that you're happy that you're on your own
tell me that its better when you're all alone
tell me that your body doesnt miss my touch
tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much
tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me
tell me who's to blame for thinking twice (no no no no)
'cause i don't wanna burn in paradise
(let it go let it go ... )
-Aerosmith
[This message has been edited by E-girl (edited 12 November 2001).]
