Venting Falling Back Into Old Habits.......

[DylanSins]

I know most of us to have a particular DOC that we know is especially detrimental to our mental health, physical health, relationships, etc., and I'm so proud of myself since I haven't shot dope in almost 4 years; however, I feel myself slipping.

I'm just terrified of relapsing as I've recently started using oxy again and I'm constantly fantasizing about slamming the shit. Fuck, I really need to cut drugs out of my life completely, but it's so damn hard.

It's almost ridiculous, I have an amazing job, and I'm 6 months away from getting my bachelor's degree, yet I can't seem to abstain from some kind of drug use. If I'm not smoking weed, I'm drinking, when I'm not drinking, I'm slurring off benzos, if I'm not barred out, I'm nodding off a 30, I just cant get a fucking break from this shit

I've been in and out of rehab since I was 16, been to jail, several outpatient programs, and nothing seems to work. I'm just tired of constantly trading one addiction for another. I just quit drinking but I had to use valiums to stop and now I'm taking benzos like candy.

Sorry if this seems like I'm rambling I just needed to get this off my chest since I'm truly suffering in silence. Nobody at my job or even people I know in college know anything about my drug habit.

I just feel like I'm going to be in active addiction for the rest of my life.

 

[neversickanymore]

Sending love.. its a hell of a calamity..

So looking at it, we can get hooked on just about anything our reward pathway deals in and we also have the pure physical aspect.

Just as with chronic opiate use enhanced pain response, I have never seen someone in so much anxiety as a chronic benzodiazepine consumer.

when we chronically use these substances to chemically attempt to alter our experience we unintentionally fuck ourselves due to the natural effects of continued use and tolerance. Our systems just adjust and end up delivering hyper doses of what we were trying to treat.

I fully get it.. we need something better.. but this is what we are facing with the tools we are currently working with.

So your doing great.. and you know where this is going to end up if something does not change.

So how do you apprehend your addiction cycle?

What about trying to steer l towards a healthy balance of positive addictions?