Fallen Angel

[anarchistgirl]

My favourite poem, just wanted your thoughts on it. Constructive Crit and whatnot appriceated.

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I am a fallen angel
My wings have thus been torn
Left upon this shattered earth
Defiled and put to scorn
But even in my life
I can never die
Mortality's my living hell
And every night I cry
I need to be released from here
To escape, and fly away
But my barren back won't allow escape
And so I pass the days
I am a fallen angel
With Ishmael I thrive
But I'm stuck upon this wretched earth
Hoping that I'll die

 

[Rollingrrl]

beautiful and moving. i feel just like that most days. though i doubt I could have put it as eloquently. you've got skills baby girl! and I'll repeat everything people tell me, there's always a rainbow somewhere over the hill.

~Shelly~

 

[femmme fatal]

It may just be me, cause i'm a stickler for rhyme and meter, but it's a little choppy to me... the first paragraph is wikkid in that sense though. Also, i really dig the content and some of the wording is quite groovy.

keep up the good writing!

aj the femme