I've been on Suboxone for the past three weeks or so, and I took my last one yesterday, or at least that's the plan... It's been a month, though, since I've actually been high on any traditional opiate...
It's funny... I have five Lortabs and five Roxi 30's sitting right here in front of me, but the pull on my mind they used to have just ... isn't there. I should be happy about that, but there still seems to be a large void missing from my soul. The missing chunk is right here before my eyes, but it's like it has deformed, and the key won't fit anymore...
I don't remember what it feels like to be high anymore. And I want to remember that warm euphoria so very badly... I know the receptor blockade from the bupe is still running strong in my brain, so it would be pointless to try... The pills themselves are like a hollow memory...
It doesn't make me happy that I've forgotten, it doesn't make me sad, just ... hollow...
It's funny... I have five Lortabs and five Roxi 30's sitting right here in front of me, but the pull on my mind they used to have just ... isn't there. I should be happy about that, but there still seems to be a large void missing from my soul. The missing chunk is right here before my eyes, but it's like it has deformed, and the key won't fit anymore...
I don't remember what it feels like to be high anymore. And I want to remember that warm euphoria so very badly... I know the receptor blockade from the bupe is still running strong in my brain, so it would be pointless to try... The pills themselves are like a hollow memory...
It doesn't make me happy that I've forgotten, it doesn't make me sad, just ... hollow...
