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extreme opiate addiction

I

ivanatinkle

Greenlighter
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
8
Hi guys. Swim is new to posting but she has been a lurker here for a long time. She would like to start off by saying that Yes, she knows she is an idiot. She has an extremely bad opiate addiction which she has managed to kick a few times but has hit rock bottom now. Swim has legitimate pain issues caused by chronic & degenerative health problems, & she was first prescribed opiates a few years ago. She became physically but not psychologically dependent upon them. After going through withdrawals with the help of Ambiem & Valium, she stayed clean for almost 2 years. Then swim's mother died & a few other big changes happened in her life. She has struggled with severe unipolar depression since she was 13 years old. When the depression is really bad, she uses opiates as a crutch. For the last 3 months or so she has been taking a shitload of hydro 10/325s. Right now she is up to about 50-70 pills a day. She is not exaggerating about the amount she takes & she knows she is killing her liver. Well, seeing as how she has a young baby, she has decided that she is being a selfish asshole & she wants to stick around on this earth at least long enough to see her baby grow up. But this time she is having a lot of trouble getting clean. She has found a method for getting numerous prescriptions(please don't ask how, as she is not proud of it) & every time she is about to run out she says no more, this is it, she is done. But of course she ends up getting another script.
She thinks a large part of the reason why she can't quit this time is because she has moved to a very rural area & is stuck at home all day alone with only the baby for company until her fiance gets home from work. She only has 1 friend in her town that she is comfortable talking to & even he doesn't know about her problem. She is just absolutely miserable & the pills are the only thing that can make her feel somewhat happy.
Swim picked up 90 pills today & is getting 90-120 more on Tuesday. After those are gone, she really wants to quit for good. She has a 1/4 pound of Kratom on hand to help get her through the withdrawals but she is very scared. She is afraid that she will conquer her opiate addiction only to succumb to the depression. She has a wonderful man in her life & he has no clue about her problem & she is too embarrassed/ashamed to tell him. He has his own problems anyways & she doesn't want to add to his burdens anymore than she already has. Oh, & swim has no health insurance so seeking professional help is not an option. If she doesn't get off the pills soon, she is either going to be arrested & thrown in jail & probably face some serious charges, or her liver is finally going to say Uncle.
Swim thought that it might help to talk to people who are/have been in similar situations & can understand what she is going through. She would very much appreciate any & all advice, thoughts & ideas on how she can get through this. Is there anything she can take in addition to Kratom & the Thomas recipe? She is already taking an anti-depressent(Celexa), vitamin B12, & multi-vitamin. Thank you all.
 
Hi Ivan :) you don't need to use SWIM on this forum.

If one is looking to ease out of withdrawals kratom will certainly help I would also suggest imodium to help with bathroom issues.

<3
 
Thank you. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to refer directly to myself so figured I'd play it safe :) Right now I have the Kratom, Immodium, Ultram, Benadryl & tizanidine. Do you think transitioning from opiates to Ritalin or Adderall might help? I've used meth before while I was going through withdrawals & it actually worked pretty good. It didn't give me the typical spun out feeling that I used to get when I did it but the withdrawals were barely noticeable. And I know that switching to a stimulant like Ritalin is just exchanging one addiction for another, but I think that might be my best bet if it can work. I've always been able to walk away from meth when I started to get too heavily into it & I've only used it once in the last 2 years. Perhaps after a few weeks of a stimulant I could taper off it & go to the Kratom. I have fibromyalgia, a spinal cord disorder & Lupus so brain fog & fatigue are kicking my ass. Maybe that's a legitimate reason to ask my doc to prescribe some.
 
ivan, from personal experience ritalin/speed in general makes me hyper aware of how awful my withdrawal is. It does make the time go by faster, but the whole time I was going over in my head "I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm sick" so I wouldn't recommend it, but whatever works for you. Everyone is different.

Also, welcome to Bluelight :) We're a lovely bunch here at TDS, (Oh except for stardust, he's the worst ;D) and I really hope you enjoy it here. If you ever need anything, someone around here will be able to help, there's a huge knowledge base here, or feel free to PM me with anything you need and I can do my best to help.
 
BEE POLLEN! I am on day 8 of opiate withdrawal after nearly 3 years of oxycontin, snorting heroin, and suboxone.
The final month of my addiction i used suboxone @2mg and did a fast weaning (prob too fast) the last week, my final jump eas 8 days ago
I have been suffering bad with everything typical of acute withdrawal and today i took JUST 6 teeny tiny granuals of bee pollen i picked up at a natural food store and i have been off my rocker all day and feeling fantastic! I am HAPPY, i cleaned my house top to bottom, seriously amazing to feel this good right now after all the hurt! PASS THE WORD, i dont know why more people arent talking about this stuff! I literally snapped out of my funk an hour after taking it, finally an ALL NATURAL HIGH THAT WONT KILL ME!
 
I also lost my mother last year so I can imagine how you feel. It really floored me, and the depression I experienced from it was enough to land me in a psychiatric hospital. Have you considered that you might have post-partum depression? It's supposed to be a happy time: a new baby, planning a wedding, but somehow it's not.

I hope you do realize that given the drugs that you are taking that you really are not safe to be caring for an infant.

The doctor shopping, having others obtain scripts for you, or going to pharmacies fifty miles outside of town is going to land you in jail. Eventually the pharmacy takes notice and the next time your "friend" is there to pick up the drugs, the police and the DEA are there, waiting to handcuff your friend who will give you up. I could be wrong about how you are getting your drugs, but I doubt you're getting them legitimately in such large quantities. And yes, you are taxing your liver.

I would strongly encourage you to speak with a psychiatrist who can help you with any post-partum and the depression you are suffering from the loss of your mother. Don't be ashamed. You might also want to find a doctor through www.suboxone.com who can get you off opiates safely via Suboxone or just buprenorphine (available as a generic so somewhat cheaper but still has to be done by a certified physician). It would be best if you could find a psychiatrist who does both.
 
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Hello! This is my first time posting on here, but I have found some very useful info on here, that helped me kick my opiate addiction. The hardest thing is staying clean, especially when there's temptation. All I do when I'm tempted to use is think of how horrible withdrawals are, and that has done the trick for me, so far... What helped me tremendously through the withdrawals was Imodium and Ultram. You can eat the Imodium like candy, but be very careful with Ultram, as it can cause seizures. I would take 25-30 Imodium tablets 2-3 times per day, and four 50mg Ultram every 6 hours. I didn't feel great, but it was definitely tolerable in order to get through the worst of it, which usually the worst lasts 3-4 days. Also, if you can, start tapering your dose of pain killers until you run out, then when you start to feel the withdrawals, start taking the Imodium and Ultram. I managed to do this while caring for my young son during the day, as my husband was unaware of my addiction. Imodium and Ultram are the only way, I found, to get through it and still be able to safely care for a child and not be totally out of it. Good luck!
 
Sorry, I forgot to add, do NOT try using any type of amphetamine while withdrawing. I tried using Phentermine (used for weight loss), and it made my anxiety go through the roof and I felt ten times worse and couldn't sleep!
 
I took a nice hit of speed when I was withdrawaling from oxy with some benzo's and it actually gave me a really nice lift. Brought me out of my funk. If you dont have benzo's I wouldn't do it. Just remember moderation.

Benzo's make withdrawal bearable for me and I've been able to tough out some extreme cold turkeys with there aid. Without them though withdrawal fucking sucks.

Btw if your friend hasn't been doing CWE on all those pills i'm surprised she hasn't died from an APAP overdose. She definently will have liver problems when she's older and wont live as long as she would have if she took the time to do a CWE>
 
Thank you everyone. I'm sorry for the late response. in the 4 months since I posted, I was hospitalized & diagnosed with 3 leaky heart valves. But even that wasn't enough to slow me down. My habit increased to about 80-100 10/325 Norcos a day. It's a miracle I'm not dead or in jail yet. there has been a constant pain under my right ribcage & after doing some research, I realized it was probably my liver. So I decided to try Subutex. It was nearly impossible to get some, but I have 24 8mgs today. I did the 24hrs clean then took about 14mg spaced over 2 hours. Right now I am feeling pretty damn good! I am hopeful. But if my liver is damaged, what will happen? Will it repair itself, or does the fact that it's hurting mean it is beyond repair? thank you again BL community
 
The liver is an amazing organ because it is capable of repair. If you haven't done permanent damage it will repair itself to a certain extent. The only way to know if you have permanent damage is to go to a doctor. I'm not going to say one way or the other whether you do, but if you're not in liver failure and dont' have liver cancer or extreme cirrhosis, your liver will repair itself (to a pretty far extent as i've mentioned).

Once again though, previously mentioned permanent conditions can only be diagnosed by a doctor. If youre feeling REALLY SICK, and got like yellow eyes, dark urine, etc then i'd definitely get it checked out. I know quite a bit about liver cancer and damage (family member had liver disease/cancer/TRANSPLANT) so i am well educated on liver capabilities and the likes.

However once again I am no fucking doctor, nor do i possess any capabilities to diagnose you, so if you're feelin real bad or real worried get to a doctor.
 
Thanks for the info. I'll have health insurance on the 15th & I will be making an appointment for a work up. Guess there's no point in stressing about it until then.
 
I know this needs a new thread but I'm on my phone & it's giving me some problems. Can anyone suggest a dosing routine for the Subutex based on my previous opiate usage? I wasn't able to find dosing info through Google for very heavy addicts. When my health insurance kicks in I'll be getting them through a doctor. But how often & how many should I take until then? I had 24 of the 8mg & I took 22mg this morning spread over a couple hours & I'm feeling good. No withdrawals or cravings.
 
Not to offend you but I really wouldnt call you a "very heavy addict" People who shoot fentanyl are heavy addicts. But to answer your question I would start at 4mg of sub a day and see how you feel. if thats not enough go up 1mg every 2 hour till you find your sweet spot. Just remember sub will not get you high like the tabs.
 
Not offended at all Crimson! I'm glad to find out that I'm not considered to be a heavy addict. Thank you for your advice. I need all the help I can get.
 
Yeah Crimson has a point. I think that dosage of suboxone is way too high.
You could take half a tablet twice a day. When I was at detox, they started me out just one pill twice a day.
The next day it was half a pill twice a day, gradually getting to half a tablet within 5 days.

Your stomach isn't tore up from all those hydros? You did take a whole lot!
Glad you are trying to get off them. It will be great when you can get to see a doctor.
 
if you use suboxone by advise is try to use it to get off the drugs then quit it right away but if you relapse it might be worth staying on suboxone long term

I quit soboxcone after 5months a few times and relapsed over and over now I have been on it around a year and I just except it as a way of life now because I need it
 
OP i would do a 10 day sub detox if I were you and could somehow ..

Or maintence is better than 50-70 pills a day jesus.. ur liver is probably hurt I'm sorry
 
I have nothing to prove to anyone here. Why the hell would I lie? I was going through a script of 180 in less than 2 days. & I know that I'm a piece of shit.
48 hours clean now. Thank you again to everyone, even the person who said I'm a horrible parent. i was & will be until I'm on a solid path of recovery. My little girl is what's giving me the motivation to do this.
 
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