I feel like alcohol is really bad and destructive though. I would like to get some LSD or other type of psychedelic.
So my advise to the OP is - if you're questioning it, you will end up doing it, just a matter of time is all. I questioned it for 3-4 months before doing it... the gears are already turning in your mind. The time and place will come; Just make sure it's planned well!
Good luck in whatever you end up choosing to do! I think alcohol is harmful when people get stumbling drunk. In moderation it seems to be okay though
He says NOW that his motivation THEN was "self destruction" but that didn't become his motivation untill he stopped and realized that he was simply just being destructive (I'm sure when he actually started he wasn't motivated to destroy his life). And now his motivation is "growth". Watch how fast that motivation changes too.
This is interesting, my motivation was never self-destruction. My behavior was destructive, but my intentions were not. In the meetings there is often the idea that we hate ourselves so much and our drug use is a way of self-destruction, so I bought into this a bit. But my intentions were never so now that I think about it.
My point is if he COULD handle life reponsibly with drugs, he can handle life responsibly w/out them. The fact he's in a such a deeply contemplative state about it, shows hes having issues living life right now w/out them. And that to me forecast more problems than less. If he didn't have a problem he'd just go get high and not make a big deal about it, instead he came here to make a thread about it and research for however long untill he decides he can really care less about what everyone says, and the only "real answer" is to just go get high and find out. So what me or you says really doesn't matter at all. Somewhere inside he has a desire to use, (otherwise this thread wouldn't exist) which predisposes him to the bias of only taking advice from people who recommend he CAN control himself. If he didn't wanna use, he'd be more likely to argue with people telling him he CAN control himself. No human can ever be completely objective about things so personally related to them.
I put down 50 bucks that within the next month he drops MDMA. Is that "arrogant" enough for you?
I think uncertainty is much more realistic than claiming I know 100% that I can do it. Asking for feedback is the more cautious approach rather than just doing whatever pops into my head because I want to. But I think you're right in that I need to evaluate WHY I'm asking this in the first place, why is this something that I want?
Of course I certainly to have a bias in that I would like to come to the conclusion that this is something I can do. But complete certainty isn't an easy thing after having been told otherwise for several years. I've only left the meetings a bit over a month ago, it's been 6 years that their message has been hammered into me. So I think my questioning does not necessarily indicate impending doom.
Show me what biology book you read in highschool that says "mdma helps people grow"?
And I'm the "arrogant" one lmao!
Growth of course in the broad sense of providing some sort of psychological benefit. This site has lots of information on MDMA use and the use of psychedelic drugs in general.
http://www.maps.org/mdma/
He appears to like MDMA, I don't think MDMA is that addictive at all personally. And he sounds smart enough in this thread to completely control his use. I'm more worried about what hasn't happened yet and what he doesn't know can happen.
Like a drug becoming available to him that hes naive about, he doesn't understand how addictive it really is, and he gets hooked. It happens. I'm only recommending he tries to live clean, but maybe using MDMA every now and then sensibly will have some functional purpose in his life... maybe. Maybe it won't.
This is also a concern of mine. The reality is that world of drug use combines them all together, I won't be able to expose myself to MDMA without coming across other substance as well. I've done all the "addictive" drugs, and have seen people develop problems with them all, in particular heroin and cocaine. So I acknowledge this risk, I do not like the idea of having them around.
Ultimately at this point it doesn't seem like he can know untill he tries. Which goes along with the whole idea that learning who you are is more important than blindly throwing labels on yourself to avoid what you fear most. So against all professional advise, I DO actually advocate he tries. I feel much more wholesome telling him not to, but realistically he just appears that he HAS TO KNOW what type of person he is, almost more than he wants to get high. I know the point he's at and I can't tell him either way how it will end. But if it turns ugly, that will simply be the price he pays to know himself. So either way, realistically speaking, it can turn out good or bad. If I was the OP I'd simply ask myself "what do I REALLY want to do"? If he wants to go use MDMA than GO USE IT.
You will def figure out what kind of control you have with that specific drug. But I'd still recommend he stays away from things like meth/amphetamines (not methyldioxymethamphetamines), opiates, and barbituates. Sometimes it doesn't matter if you are or aren't a drug addict because a certain drug is so damn strong it will overtake almost everyone. All he can do is exercise his wisdom the best he can, and all we can REALLY DO is just wish him luck.
With that said.. good luck! I'm taking my arrogant ass out of here.
I appreciate this honesty. And yes, a big part of this has to do with who I am and how I see myself. I feel like an idiot for having integrated a lot of the AA philosophy and now I'm questioning everything, which is a bit overwhelming. So yes I do want to use MDMA, but I also want to show myself and all the people who told me I'm diseased, that I'm NOT.
OK, when saying I had an agenda I should have gone farther and admitted I was not being fair to you or the OP. I'm sorry. I approached this thread and some others with an attitude of trying to get a little more respect for non-abstinent OPs. I need to be more circumspect about my "agenda".
No I'm not 50/50 or unbiased, but I think deference to the thread starters happens with some groups much more than w/ others. I try not to tell OPs what to do, especially when I disagree with their approach. I try to suggest and talk about consequences and data. People w/ very helpful intents can be very disrespectful. Not said at you but just an observation that they are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry Legerity for my causing so much peripheral stuff in your thread.
No need to apologize! Your feedback and discussion with Bojangles has been informative. And I also appreciate your objectivity with regards to this situation, I would imagine it's not always the easiest thing to do when people are asking about doing something that could potentially be harmful.
