experiencing (what I think are) hallucinations, don't know how to explain to the doc

[wolf of the steppe]

Hello all. Recently (suddenly) I have reduced my regular alcohol intake by about 1/2 (not intentionally, I seem to be far more affected than usual). I have, in concordance with my shrink stopped taking antidepressants because of the amount of alcohol I drink. We both want to resume treatment once I stop drinking (AA has been recommended but I am way to anxious around other people) . I take 2-4 g of Phenibut a day and feel it has had major impact. The effect of phenibut is not something noticable by outsiders but when as anxious and depressed as I have been the smallest thing makes a difference.

I have been more motivated to leave the house than ever in the past year. I have spent 90% of the past 1.5 yrs indoors. I went today to see the new harry potter. It wa hard to watch because I kept seeing what can only be described as little super-novas exploding in my peripheral vision, and in my central visual field blocks of something not real popping up in what I see (picture those annoying little speach bubbles that pop up on youtube only filled in with illustration). It's like I keep sliiping into daydreams then am called into reality but what was going on in my head is still visually persistant.

I don't know how to explain this my shrink because I do not see imaginary figures or hear voices. I just have constant brief explosions of something going on beneath what I see like a sliver of text being torn away from a NatGeo page with a photo underneath...literally.

I have lately been wanting to rejoin normal society more than ever before, but life seems more like a crazy hallucination than ever.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Those aren't hallucinations. Hallucinations are perceptual.

I suspect that if you could habituate yourself to not feeling disturbed by the brief explosions they wouldn't be a problem. I can have disturbing insights or impressions a lot when I'm very anxious. Just letting them pass as much as possible seems to decrease their intensity.

Alcohol withdrawal causes a brain to be reved up and cognitive and emotional noise increases ime. Your doc may have a very different analysis so I encourage you to explain what is going on to her as much as possible. It is possible to the phenibut or antidepressant discontinuation is playing into all this. Brain shivers and feelings of electrical jolts are not uncommon with AD discontinuation. Best of luck on this.

 

[wolf of the steppe]

I have tried explaining to people but the more specific I get the more unsure they are of what I'm explaining. I am afraid to leave it at "I am hallucinating" because conclusions about halluciniatiing (not related to drugs) are quickly drawn. All anti'depressiives and antipsychotics have made me worse quite so. maybe it is past drug use. anyway, I am sorry..... I sould not have posted, I think other posters need this space much more so.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I sould not have posted, I think other posters need this space much more so.

I'm glad you posted. You are not taking energy or time from others. You are valuable. Later if we help at all you can return the favor by helping out some other folks. We are borg, all will be assimilated.

 

[Lolie]

^^^
We are legion.

 

[wolf of the steppe]

Those aren't hallucinations. Hallucinations are perceptual.

This is the problem I reach with my doc. By "brief explosions" I am being literal. These events seem more perceptual than psychological. I think when I descibe them people think I am being metaphoric. It is not "like" an explosion. It is literally like a firework going off then dissapearing within a second. If not so ephemeral I would think it easy to reach out at touch the pixel blotches.

 

[wolf of the steppe]

If I became borg I think no one else would risk being borg. Someday though I wish to help others assimilate. I will change my screenname though.

 

[Lolie]

This is the problem I reach with my doc. By "brief explosions" I am being literal. These events seem more perceptual than psychological. I think when I descibe them people think I am being metaphoric. It is not "like" an explosion. It is literally like a firework going off then dissapearing within a second. If not so ephemeral I would think it easy to reach out at touch the pixel blotches.

Someone else posted about something extremely similar not long ago. I'll see if I can hunt up their thread.

 

[Allein]

Hi Wolf,

Read your post and it struck a real chord with me, a few months ago I ended up having to go into residential care for a couple of weeks due to anxiety and depresion. things had been getting worse and worse for quite sometime and I felt more and more disconnect from everything. One of the scariest symptoms I suffered was visual distortions, I found it very difficult to describe to doctors and my partner, it was similar to comming up on LSD in that everything has a glassy quality and didnt seem to have a solid surface.
I have been working hard since to get myself together and now understand a little more about how i got into that state. I think it was all based in anxiety which lead to depresion, I got into such a state I was seeing alsorts and this just fed more anxiety. For me I am always seeing things in periferal vision and soemtimes even wierder stuff, I think most people do, for me its a case of how a react to it.

Best wishes

 

[Cyc]

Visual symptoms are not all that uncommon, and can be an isolated symptom in people who are undergoing withdrawal, or have had neurochemical changes.

You mentioned that you reduced your alcohol intake. Long-term alcohol use (actually any GABA drug) and cessation can manifest itself in many strange symptoms. Some people experience miniature seizures from the deprivation of GABA, and these don't always follow the classic seizure pattern. They can be sudden shocks or jolts, shooting sciatic pains, or the visual symptoms you describe.

Medical research is unfortunately lacking in this area, and I use the word "seizure" for lack of a better term. Perhaps neurotransmitter misfire would be a better description.

 

[.dp]

well... when you re talking about little day dreams it s probably even worse.
if this fits you should definitely see a doctor.

Sufferers, who are mentally healthy people with often significant visual loss, have vivid, complex recurrent visual hallucinations (fictive visual percepts). One characteristic of these hallucinations is that they usually are "lilliput hallucinations" (hallucinations in which the characters or objects are smaller than normal). Sufferers understand that the hallucinations are not real and the hallucinations are only visual, that is, they do not occur in any other senses, e.g.: hearing, smell or taste.[4][5] The prevalence of Charles Bonnet syndrome has been reported to be between 10% and 40%; a recent Australian study has found the prevalence to be 17.5%.[2] Two Asian studies, however, report a much lower prevalence.[6][7] The high incidence of non-reporting of this disorder is the greatest hindrance to determining the exact prevalence; non-reporting is thought to be as a result of sufferers being afraid to discuss the symptoms out of fear that they will be labelled insane.[5]

People suffering from CBS may experience a wide variety of hallucinations. Images of complex colored patterns and images of people are most common, followed by animals, plants or trees and inanimate objects. The hallucinations also often fit into the person's surroundings.[2]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bonnet_syndrome

 

[Jabberwocky]

well... when you re talking about little day dreams it s probably even worse.
if this fits you should definitely see a doctor. [then an excerpt from wikipedia article on Charles Bonnet syndrome]

There are a lot of neurological phenomena with some possible relationship to the OPs situation. I think assuming it is withdrawal related as Cyc hypothesized is reasonable and OP explained he is seeing a doctor and planning on informing her. Anxiety is clearly a big factor also by reading the OP. I have many other neurological situations I could put out as possibly relevant but I'm not sure that would be really helpful.

 

[.dp]

sure, human anatomy is complex.
I nevertheless posted the syndrom-entry to help him precise his visuals or to allude a fitting/similiar syndrom as possibility in the case his doctor is out of lead.

 

[Lord]

Congratulations on going outside! I haven't gone outside more than a few times in the past year because I'm much too tired and paranoid, and with that comes serious consequences.