So, people keep asking about my "weird stories" and I just had one of the weirdest last night.
I get a call around 8:30 with a guy asking about getting together with me and a close girl friend that I sometimes work with. Dude sounds super excited and is offering to send a limo over to pick us up. That of course clued me in that the guy had a lot of disposable income.
I discuss it with my girl friend but we had had a bit of an argument earlier so weren't really in the mood to work together. I call the dude back, tell him that my girlfriend cant make it and ask if just me is fine. Guy says that it'smore then fine and asks where to send the limo...I figure out that he's not far from me and offer to just drive there hoping that if I put on a good show he'd take the extra money he would have spent on the limo and give it to me instead.
So I get to dude's house and I am a bit surprised by who opens the door, I'm used to seeing all clean cut business guys, but a long haired hippie lookin guy that resembled Ozzie Osborne but with grey hair and more fat answers the door and invites me in.
We get inside and I am blown away by how rich this guy is. I very often see rich guys and I grew up in a rich family so I am not easily impressed, I see a LOT of nice homes. This guy had a home that screamed that he was probably one of the richest guys I'll ever meet. (I never did find out what he does for a living, If i was guessing I'd guess that he was an old rock star, though he did mention that his dad was a "very famous man" so perhaps it was all inherited)
We chit chat, he asks if I "party" (drug use, usually cocaine) I tell him that I don't really, he said he hasn't either in six months but he's excited and decides to order up some coke anyways. He then puts 500 dollars in my hand and says that I'm really sexy and to take this and I only have to stay as long as I want.
So I'm totally wetting myself at this point because i love establishing good new client relationships with rich guys.
Anyways, he has a few drinks from his fully stocked bar, tells me to pour myself one, I dont drink but to make him feel better I pour myself a grapefruit juice and water and say that it's grapefruit juice and vodka.
Lots of chitchatting, dude seems pretty cool, about what you'd expect from a genuine old hippy with lots of money, we get into trading oral and it's business as usual, things proceed to the bedroom, he has me change out of the "naughty school girl" style outfit I'm wearing and just wants me to wear some stockings he had along with my thong, so I change and things continue as expected for an hour or so.
We then jump into his hottub for a while and the cocaine man soon delivers direct to his mailbox on credit.
Now things get weird, we go back to the bar area where dude sorts out the coke, he does a couple lines and tells me to go fetch a little black duffle style bag from his bedroom. I do so and bring it back and dude starts pulling out more stockings, fishnets, different colors and materials, all that stuff.
Which he proceeds to put on, I'm not a judgmental type so I'm ok with it, though the prospect of being with a 62 year old man in stockings was even more of a turn off then the prospect of being with a 62 year old man in the first place. He has me strip off my thong (and I do mean my thong, size small) he then proceeds to cram his extra large body and floppy dong into it. He does another couple lines and then starts rubbing on himself and cooing about how he's sexy, i contain my laughter. He cuts me out 2 lines of coke (the only 2 i did), which I've only tried once before and didnt particularly enjoy, I do it to be polite, it kicks in and takes some of the edge off I guess...makes me find the whole situation entertaining and feel a little more friendly. (Though I still dont see the appeal of cocaine)
Anyways, we go back to the bedroom and he has me hold a mirror while he demonstrates how he likes to masturbate with a mirror and a spotlight on his legs while cross dressed.
The next 3 hours are spent with him asking me to do things like pee on his genitals while he masturbated, pee in his mouth while he goes down on me and really just some of the weirdest stuff I'd ever done.
Mostly he wanted to tell me how sexy he was while rubbing my stockinged legs on his. I am a pretty good actress, but when you're dealing with someone who looks a lot like a cross between Buffalo Bill of Silence of the Lambs and Ozzie Osborne who's wearing black fishnets with your now tainted and stretched favorite white thong, who's taken a large pair of wool socks, rolled them up and tied his tank top into something that vaguely resembles a sports bra and stuffed the socks in them to create a big lumpy uniboob....well..you can imagine how hard bringing yourself to call someone sexy in that situation is.
After a while I start to show inclination to go home simply due to having been there for 4 hours, he offers me extra money to stay a bit longer so I figure what the hell
He then gives me an hour or so of some of the most annoyingly painful oral i've ever dealt with, while masturbating his coked up flaccid weener. My poor coochie hurt when I got home from beard burn.
But at the end he handed me another 300 bucks for 800 total so I called it a pretty good night. I've had worse encounters, this one was just weird. He seemed to have a pretty awesome time fawning over me which is always nice.
Unfortunately it seemed best to just write off my poor thong. It will be missed
