Bomb319
Bluelighter
Last dose was Monday morning around 8. I was scared to death because I was fighting a bad cold, and knew I was out of money, or any way to get money.
The really weird thing is, God only knows why, but this has so far been on the easier end of the spectrum as far as withdrawals go. Of course I'm going through it and it's hell, but the cold sweat phase lasted a day and a half, and I never ended up throwing up. Right now of course I haven't eaten in days, still get waves of cold goosebumps and can't leave my bed but for some reason it just didn't fully materialize.
Could it be because the stuff I was using for a long time seemed to have a shorter half life? I'd start feeling a bit sick and yawning as early as 10 hours after my last dose. Or could it be that I was using coke almost every time, either before or after? Anyway not that its a contest, but if you think you know withdrawal pain, try cold turkeying H, coke, tobacco and sleeping pills (zopiclone) ALL AT THE SAME TIME, by yourself, massively in debt, and unable to buy food, having instead to steal from the grocery store without being caught, which I could only do after days of being way too lethargic to do so.
The worst part of this now isn't the physical. I can handle the chills, and even the nausea and diarrhea. What I can't handle is the feeling that I have nothing to do (scoring would take a few hours each day), nothing to look forward to, and feeling like everything is somehow wrong, like there's something wrong inside my brain. Altered and negative perceptions and extreme lethargy.
There's only one thing worse than feeling like that, IMO, and that is the dreams I can look forward to having for months and months in which I get some, feel much better and happier, only to awaken and find out it isn't real. It's like those dreams where you win the lottery and slowly wake up, and it dawns on you that it didn't really happen at all. That, only a billion times worse.
I just want this to be over with.
The really weird thing is, God only knows why, but this has so far been on the easier end of the spectrum as far as withdrawals go. Of course I'm going through it and it's hell, but the cold sweat phase lasted a day and a half, and I never ended up throwing up. Right now of course I haven't eaten in days, still get waves of cold goosebumps and can't leave my bed but for some reason it just didn't fully materialize.
Could it be because the stuff I was using for a long time seemed to have a shorter half life? I'd start feeling a bit sick and yawning as early as 10 hours after my last dose. Or could it be that I was using coke almost every time, either before or after? Anyway not that its a contest, but if you think you know withdrawal pain, try cold turkeying H, coke, tobacco and sleeping pills (zopiclone) ALL AT THE SAME TIME, by yourself, massively in debt, and unable to buy food, having instead to steal from the grocery store without being caught, which I could only do after days of being way too lethargic to do so.
The worst part of this now isn't the physical. I can handle the chills, and even the nausea and diarrhea. What I can't handle is the feeling that I have nothing to do (scoring would take a few hours each day), nothing to look forward to, and feeling like everything is somehow wrong, like there's something wrong inside my brain. Altered and negative perceptions and extreme lethargy.
There's only one thing worse than feeling like that, IMO, and that is the dreams I can look forward to having for months and months in which I get some, feel much better and happier, only to awaken and find out it isn't real. It's like those dreams where you win the lottery and slowly wake up, and it dawns on you that it didn't really happen at all. That, only a billion times worse.
I just want this to be over with.
