"Exciting News, You Guys! . . .

[L O V E L I F E]

Exciting news, you guys!

Just took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents over the holidays!

It was great.

I was so thrilled to introduce them:

"Mom and Dad - I'd really like you to meet Pam.

And I know that what I'm about to say,

Might seem a little crazy,

Given the timing,

But, I'm gonna say it anyway:

'I am completely and utterly comfident,

That one day,

Pam is going to be an incredible mother to your BEAUTIFUL grandchild!'

Unless you guys can lend me four hundred bucks."

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

lol surprise ending! Very cool, In a morbid way?

 

[Mehm]

is this self deprecation? why wouldn't your parents be excited about your new girlfriend? kind of weird tbh but i chuckled

 

[L O V E L I F E]

It's an abortion joke.

A rather long one.

Perhaps I should have terminated it.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

I got it. It should be a metal song. It's the perfect kind of morbid irony that metal has the market cornered on.

 

[RareForm]

hahah.

 

[lostNfound]

I saw the punchline coming, but still found it funny regardless. Nice one.

 

[DJmacabre]

great delivery.

 

[E-girl]

haha. great.

 

[Mehm]

ohh, I get it

 

[hydroazuanacaine]

Perhaps I should have terminated it.

is that another? the first was awesome.

 

[TheLoveBandit]

^^Yes, stick around here long enough to recognize LL's writing and there is no doubt 'it is another'.






The first was good - better than your other recent stuff, I'd say. It was a little long, but I'd judge it still within the realm of reasonable build up and delivery.

I'm at a loss to start spinning off alternatives or suggestions at this point.....
...except...

Mom & Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend, Pam.
She doesn't work in a bakery, but she's got a bun for me in her oven.

Mom & Dad, I'd like you to meet my new gf, Pam.
She's much better than the last girlfriend that got a legal restraining order on me, she actually wants me to stick around. See this paternity suit thingy she had me sign?

Mom & Dad, I'd like you to meet my new gf, Pam.
We're planning to hold your grandchild hostage for $$$$ starting in 7 months. That is, unless you'd like to buy your way out of this situation now for $$$

Mom & Dad...
How soon do you guys retire? Because we think we may need a babysitter in about 7 months.

M&D...
Do you remember when you had to pay to get my syphillis cleared up? Well, it's like that but different.





...I know, I know, everyone is a comedian 8) Damn hecklers
But seriously, you chose the name PAM and I kept expecting some sort of wrinkle on the cooking spray.

 

[RedLeader]

Mom & Dad, I'd like you to meet my new gf, Pam.
She's much better than the last girlfriend that got a legal restraining order on me, she actually wants me to stick around. See this paternity suit thingy she had me sign?